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Post by healthy11 on Feb 27, 2010 16:22:07 GMT -5
LOL!
When my son came home last weekend, he revealed that he'd had a "small gathering in his apartment" with some friends, and a few "friends of friends" who he didn't know that well. He ended up saying that "he just doesn't "get" what's happening, because there were a bunch of other guys there, but two girls kept "pawing" HIM. He claims he told them he has a girlfriend, but they didn't seem to care. He told us he felt bad, because he has a good friend that he went to high school with, who attends the same university and is a year older, and that guy would like to date, but never has much luck. I ended up re-framing the scenario, pointing out to my son that maybe the two girls at the party were more interested in him precisely BECAUSE he told them he already had a girlfriend, therefore they found him more "at ease" and comfortable talking to girls.
When I look back over the years, especially in elementary and middle school, where my son had few friends of any gender, I am amazed. I think because he wasn't a "popular" guy, he never developed the macho male mindset, and the friendships he did form at his smaller high school were with more understanding girls, who didn't see him as "threatening." Even now, in my opinion, he's definitely immature relative to most young women, but for short-term conversations, he's able to "hold his own."
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Post by shawbridge on Feb 27, 2010 23:23:27 GMT -5
healthy, she won't be picking a school for guys but has lots of male friends and wants a normal kind of male-female balance.
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Post by shawbridge on Feb 27, 2010 23:50:15 GMT -5
Well, healthy, maybe he is starting to get a little more comfortable with himself (albeit not a good sign-reader) and thus is more attractive.
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Post by healthy11 on Mar 1, 2010 0:08:03 GMT -5
Curiously, I don't think my son has ever been uncomfortable with himself, but he could make others uncomfortable with his insensitive actions! Being an only child, I suppose it's good that he's learning to "live with others" at college.
As a side note, for as many problems as some of us have experienced with our "single children" and the college search process, imagine doing it for "multiples." I just learned that my triplet neices have all decided to attend the same university, much to the delight and relief of their parents, who have been visiting colleges around the country with them. One thinks she wants to study engineering, another intends to major in biology/premed, and the third is interested in political science/prelaw. The girls already have an older brother studying engineering in FL, and the parents couldn't imagine having all the kids spread across the US. While the girls won't be at the same college as their brother, they've also selected a college in the south, and have received very generous scholarship offers. (Remember we've talked about colleges seeking to have some diversity? Coming from "the north," they've been offered low in-state tuition rates.) You never know what a college will do to attract certain applicants...
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Post by teacherabc on Mar 1, 2010 6:28:09 GMT -5
Healthy 11...which college is that? We come from the north and need good scholarships, LOL.
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Post by healthy11 on Mar 1, 2010 9:07:53 GMT -5
auburn
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Post by teacherabc on Mar 1, 2010 12:16:23 GMT -5
State?
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Post by Mayleng on Mar 1, 2010 12:46:03 GMT -5
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Post by teacherabc on Mar 1, 2010 18:40:31 GMT -5
Thanks...I am not sure I see my daughter in Alabama...she has seen My Cousin Vinny too many times.
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Post by healthy11 on Mar 1, 2010 22:45:55 GMT -5
Truthfully, I was surprised at my neices choice, too, because they're "big city girls" living in Chicago, attending a public magnet school, and their parents are lawyers....They have been considering colleges across the country, but like the idea of leaving cold northern winters behind. They didn't all apply to the same exact schools, and they got accepted elsewhere, but they all liked Auburn the best, and their financial package was among the most attractive, which "sealed the deal." Apparently to get there, one flies to Atlanta, and it's about an hour's drive further, across the border into Alabama. My sister-in-law said that they've done two separate visits, met with different department heads and the administration, and while it's a relative large school that can offer diverse majors, it has a very warm and welcoming feel. Perhaps the'll feel differently later, but right now, my nieces are happy to be going there. They have already selected roommates via a "Freshman Facebook Group" (they all want to pair up with students who share similar majors, not their sisters) and are counting down the days.
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Post by teacherabc on Mar 1, 2010 23:32:02 GMT -5
We will be going to visit some schools over thw spring break, right before HP comes down--either in the Philly area or in the Boston area probably.
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Post by healthy11 on Mar 2, 2010 9:13:21 GMT -5
Good; seeing different campuses instead of just talking about them is the best thing to do with reluctant high schoolers!
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Post by shawbridge on Mar 2, 2010 10:45:58 GMT -5
We're going from Boston to Florida to see our first school. We've selected schools to visit early that a) are solid academically; b) have a warmer, non-competitive feel; c) don't structure social life around frats/sororities; d) seem to place kids well at the next stage; and d) she's likely to get into so that she can feel relatively secure. The good news is that there is a direct flight and the school is near the airport. But, it is definitely different than driving. However, another one of Canada requires changing planes in Halifax or Montreal and is a half an hour from the Moncton airport. But, on paper it would be a great fit. It has produced 49 Rhodes Scholars (more per capita than any other school) and is well-regarded in Canada (my kids are dual citizens) even though it has little name recognition in the US. We'll visit in May, I think.
Amazingly enough, according to the guidebooks, there are schools (in the South, usually) in which the girls dress up seriously to go to class. Never been there, but the guidebook describes a significant contingent of the girls at Hollins College as "Holly Dollies" who ride horse and wear pearls and pink even with sweats. Not likely to be on our list. Our daughter is something of a babe -- 5/8", thin but muscular (does dance where they do "suitcases" as part of fitness and she teaches a yoga class), perfect model's figure (so almost all dresses look perfect on her), and spend 30 mins in the morning on make-up. [She was working so hard this AM on the makeup that she forgot to take her Concerta. Ah well]. But the Holly Dollies and even schools that take sports teams really serious send her in the opposite direction.
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Post by shawbridge on Mar 2, 2010 10:50:02 GMT -5
Sorry about the grammar in my last post. Looks like a few sentences don't quite work. In any case, we'll be looking for schools that don't require pearls and pink every day but probably don't go too far out on the other edge either.
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Post by healthy11 on Mar 3, 2010 0:23:15 GMT -5
Shawbridge, are you talking about McGill in Canada? I know it's got a great reputation, but I thought it was rather competitive....
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Post by shawbridge on Mar 3, 2010 16:38:13 GMT -5
No, I'm talking about a school called Mount Allison. We're also looking at McGill, because a) all of our bright Canadian cousins and uncles etc. have gone/go there; b) we have a house 1 hour or so NW of McGill where we spend part of the summer and could go for skiing; and c) it is good for kids who want to study biology. But, it is very big and not personal at all -- hard to get to know professors until you are in advanced classes. Admissions is relatively non-selective (relative to the US, not relative to other Canadian schools) because it is such a big school so lots of kids get dropped at the first year. It doesn't strike me as the best choice for my daughter, though our nieces/nephews etc. have all done very well after going there (good grad schools like Oxford, MIT, U of Toronto, Cornell). And, as a dual citizen, my daughter's tuition would be very cheap -- and even cheaper if she takes a gap year and establishes residency up there first. We're also going to look at another small school near Halifax called Acadia University. But Mt A is the one that really seems to fit her on paper -- we'll have to see when we visit. It would also be very inexpensive for us.
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Post by jisp on Mar 3, 2010 18:34:23 GMT -5
My son had a good friend who went to McGill for neurobiology and music. He is an excellent student and incredibly bright. But he was unhappy at McGill because it was so big and so impersonal. He felt like he was getting good grades but was not engaged. He transferred to Emerson (as he has a serious interest in technology and music) and last I heard he was doing well. He unfortunately lost his mother this winter. In some ways I so glad that he transferred so that he spent more time at home this past year as he was very close to his mom.
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Post by Mayleng on Mar 3, 2010 19:03:58 GMT -5
Jisp, what reputation does emerson have? Are they competitive, difficult to get into? I see they have Writing, Literature & Publishing as a major.
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Post by jisp on Mar 3, 2010 20:31:05 GMT -5
Emerson is well known for journalism, TV/Film, writing and theater. There are many kids who choose to go there instead of going to a school like NYU, which is also known for those things. I do not believe they have much in the way of Science. They are an urban school in the heart of Boston. They are also part of a large consortium of schools that include other colleges in the area and kids who attend Emerson can take courses at many of the surrounding colleges including Berklee school of Music, School of the Museum of Fine Arts, Tufts, Northeastern etc......
I am not sure how hard Emerson is to get into these days. It used to be easy to get into but they have definitely become well known for their TV/Film and have had several alumni who have gone on to be very successful and famous in the field and I am not sure what they are like these days. I do know that my neighbor's son, who is dyslexic, was accepted early action there this year.
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Post by Mayleng on Mar 3, 2010 20:37:29 GMT -5
Thanks jisp. I will look into it. Maybe a trip to Boston is in order My hubby has always wanted to visit Boston.
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Post by shawbridge on Mar 3, 2010 21:00:27 GMT -5
healthy, McGill is in the heart of downtown Montreal. The city is its campus in a way -- different from NYU or Columbia, McGill is a major presence in Montreal. Montreal is a great college town. But, you wouldn't go to Moncton to get to McGill. Lots of non-stop flights to Montreal for us, and it is only a 6 hour drive.
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Post by Mayleng on Mar 3, 2010 21:53:40 GMT -5
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Post by healthy11 on Mar 3, 2010 22:09:55 GMT -5
Shawbridge, I remember passing McGill "way back when" I was in high school, and our French class went by bus up to Quebec for their senior trip; it was all a new experience for me then, and I'll admit I don't recall where one place was, relative to another! It's good that you have so many affordable options for your daughter, whether in the US or Canada!
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Post by shawbridge on Mar 4, 2010 0:26:24 GMT -5
I don't think too many of the options in the US are affordable, though several US schools that are under consideration are smaller state honors colleges. But, also in consideration are Colorado College, College of Wooster, Colby College, Hamilton College that aren't inexpensive by any stretch of the imagination. However, we have fully saved so we can manage it. However, I think there is a reasonable chance (e.g., more than 20%) given my daughter's interests that she will go to medical school. I'd be happy if she went to a less expensive school now so that we could easily pay for med school later.
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Post by jisp on Mar 4, 2010 6:53:57 GMT -5
I feel fortunate to be in MA where we have a hidden gem in UMass Lowell. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that a child might actually choose UMass Lowell over other prestigious programs. But that is what I am hearing over and over again. This little gem has built up it's science program so that it is quite impressive. It is 1/2 the cost of most private colleges and has twice as many course offerings than some in selected fields. We recently got a flyer in the mail saying that UMass Lowell alumni had the highest starting salaries of any public college in New England. And the faculty is apparently quite impressive as well.
In our state all the supposedly bright kids who want to attend a state school go off to UMass Amherst's honor's college. So discovering this little gem was quite a surprise to me.
I also recently met a family whose son has LD issues and is there and they were telling me that they have been overjoyed with the amount of support and the structure of that support that exists there. They knew their son, like many of our kids, would not seek help out, but they told me that he doesn't need to because there are academic advisors living in the dorms with the kids who are available at off hours for extra help and who check in on the kids.
Mayleng, if you come to Boston to look at Emerson you also might want to check Emmanuel. Several kids from my son's therapeutic HS went there and are doing well. But also I have a friend who is a professor at Harvard who went there with her step-daughter and said she was blown away by the quality of the teaching. If you don't mind a slightly Catholic school this is another little gem.
Shawbridge my take on the list: Colorado College: Good if you are into the outdoors. It is a party school. My son was not impressed with the kids who attended SEA from there who were majoring in science. My best friend's son is a freshman there. She has had some issues with the advising that he has gotten. He thinks he is pre-med and she felt that initially he did not get good advice about how to structure his courses. Also if your kid is pre-med think carefully about this one because remember they will have to do Organic Chemistry in a compressed format due to one course at a time program. College of Wooster: My daughter had a friend who was very bright, quiet and shy, who did not fit in there. She transferred to Brandeis where she is much happier. Hamilton: I have been very impressed with the kids I have met who are going there
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Post by Mayleng on Mar 4, 2010 6:58:46 GMT -5
Thanks Jisp, I will check out Emmanuel.
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Post by Mayleng on Mar 6, 2010 11:46:17 GMT -5
You all know I have been having a tough time getting my son involved with the idea of college and what he wants to do, where he wants to go (oh! the latest, he wants South somewhere warm - I said it is not a vacation). Well anyway, I was having carpets put in my basement yesterday. And as the carpet guy was laying the carpets on the stairs, my son walked passed him, and as he is banging away, he says to my son "and this is why you should go to college because you don't want to be doing this for a living." LOL! My son came and told me what he said. I went down to the basement with cookies I had just made, and thanked him for that advice. I also told him I don't mind if my son did not go to college if he had some skills, but he does not.
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Post by healthy11 on Mar 6, 2010 12:38:11 GMT -5
Mayleng, don't forget what I mentioned about my triplet neices, who also want to attend college "somewhere warm." In the interest of bringing diversity (northern kids to southern schools) there can be some decent scholarship offers extended!!
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Post by Mayleng on Mar 6, 2010 12:47:33 GMT -5
Yes Healthy, I have expanded my search to the South. LOL! All being equal, if the school meets the criterias, give good scholarships etc. Then why not, right?
I actually told him I checked out Randolph in VA, and he would love it, not because it is academically challenging, but at least warmer than Buffalo and best of all 82% of the student body are girls. LOL! Then he and his friend asked, "what is wrong with this college, what if it was 82% all ugly girls?" LOL! there is no pleasing them.
Hubby on the other hand says find a school that has the most successful female graduates because son is going to need to marry a successful rich woman to support his lifestyle. LOL!
MEN!
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Post by Mayleng on Mar 6, 2010 12:54:02 GMT -5
Ok, here is the list of Southern colleges I have made to look into further. Can you all give your take on them.
1) Florida Southern College 2) University of North Florida 3) George Mason 4) Clemson University (this one is a Reach for him I think, it will depend on how he does in his SATs, since i used his PSAT scores which he did not take seriously). 5) College of Charleston 6) Duke University (Reach, depends on SATs) 7) Davidson College (Reach, depends on SATs) 8) Roanoke College 9) University of Virginia(Reach depends on SATs)
I do not want a party school for him.
Sharon Catawba came up too.
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