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Post by Mayleng on Feb 23, 2010 10:20:51 GMT -5
If we are paying for my son's college education,(we are hoping for local State Uni or Local private colleges that is not going to send us to the poor house). Does it make sense to take a student loan even if we can afford not to have to take one? ie. for Tax, credit reasons.
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Post by healthy11 on Feb 23, 2010 10:32:28 GMT -5
This isn't going to address your question from a tax standpoint, but I've heard many, many people say that even if you're able to pay for a child's tuition on your own, have them take out at least some part of a loan in their own name, so they have a "vested interest" in good performance. If you want to stipulate that you'll pay back the loan for them each year, in full, if they achieve a particular GPA, that's fine, but the point is that they aren't just going off just to party in college on your $$. If they don't achieve the required goal, the loan is theirs. I've been told there are even "online companies" that will complete formal loan paperwork between family members (so you might offer your son a loan interest rate less than the banks or Stafford) but I haven't got personal experience with them. Here's some general advice about college financing: wallstcheatsheet.com/personal-finance/college-planning-7-financial-mistakes-to-avoid.html/?ref=YF
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Post by Mayleng on Feb 23, 2010 10:46:10 GMT -5
Oh, my son knows I expect performance from him in college, and if he does not perform to the best of his abilities then I pull the financing and he is on his own. I don' think I need to have him take out a loan to get my point thru'. Believe me, right now getting him to even think about going to college is a difficult task, if I tell him he has to take out a loan, he might just decide not to go to college.
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Post by healthy11 on Feb 23, 2010 10:49:42 GMT -5
If he's not interested in attending college right away, what DOES he think he'd like to do? Would a "gap year" be put to good use?
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Post by Mayleng on Feb 23, 2010 11:01:23 GMT -5
He is interested (as interested as a 17 yr old can be) but he is a little scared and intimidated I think. So he thinks that by putting his head in the sand it will all go away. Right now he is concentrating on getting his GPA up and he will be taking an SAT Prep course this weekend and next. He is signed up for the March 13 and June 1 SATs.
He doesn't want to discuss colleges with me. I have been checking out the various colleges and getting him to take a look and even gave him the fastWeb site to see the video tours. He doesn't know any colleges except University of Buffalo and some of the SUNY schools. (which he hasn't done) .I am trying to get his dad to arrange time to take him on some tours. It's kind of like, my son has no clue of what is ahead and instead of checking things out, he just doesn't want to deal with it. So it is left up to me to do research. It has been very frustrating for me, but we did make progress. He finally decided he wants to take up "Writing", which means he is probably looking at an English Major. I had been looking at his strengths, and was looking at History, Education and even Exercise Science (which he poop pooped). So the fact that he actually vocalised that he wanted to write etc. actually is a big step for us.
That is the good news. The bad news is that the school we were hoping for, University at Buffalo (which would be tough to get into since most are looking at costs these days is very popular) and also UB's English Department is the only SUNY school that is nationally ranked and ranked within the top 25% of all university English Departments in the nation. So being the solid B student that he is, it will be a long shot.
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Post by Mayleng on Feb 23, 2010 11:08:58 GMT -5
oh, and I was working under the assumption that he did not want to go away to college. Then he tells me (yelled actually) that he wants to go away, far far away. LOL!
So as you can see, I don't know what the hell he really wants. It is like pulling teeth. You know what that is like, when your son just does not want to talk to you, and doesn't hear anything you say. I have to work thru' his dad, who is not taking as much interest in this as he should (because he put himself thru' school). Sigh!
We are just starting the process and I am soooooo done. I feel like I am doing all the work and they are not interested.
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Post by SharonF on Feb 23, 2010 13:03:49 GMT -5
Mayleng-- The credit freeze has really changed the student loan landscape in just the past year. The number of banks making traditional, private student loans has dropped dramatically. Those still in the student loan business make it a lot tougher to qualify. Parents almost always have to co-sign. And the interest rates on student loans are quite high (compared with current car or home loans)--to cover the exhorbitant default rate of past student borrowers. With no collateral and lots of student loan defaulters, today's borrowers are getting stuck with the bill! However, defaulters are also overwhelming federally-backed student loan programs. For that reason, Stafford loans (available to most middle class families, but a very low limit on what you can borrow each year) are at 5.6%. And Parent PLUS loans are at a whopping 8.5%. That's robbery! www.salliemae.com/get_student_loan/apply_student_loan/interest_rates_fees/#PLUSI won't begin to tread into the shark-filled waters of tax benefits, tax liabilities, etc. of student loans--federally-backed or private. I can tell you this: it's not like your home mortgage--where you simply find a space on the tax form and type in the dollar amount you spent on interest on student loans. The interest paid on student loans is sometimes deductible. But it may be more advantageous to use one of the many IRS educational credits than to just deduct the interest. That can include the Lifetime learning credit. Hope credit. American Opportunity credit. A credit for students in Midwest disaster areas (not kidding!!) Last year, it was to our advantage to use the Lifetime Learning Credit. This year, the dollars (and rules) were different and we used the American Opportunity Credit instead. You take into account the tuition paid, room and board, interest paid, cost of books, etc. There are so many variables. So there's no single answer to your question about *tax* advantages/disadvantages for student loans and repayments. We pay someone to do our taxes and weigh the options for us. Of course, you save money if you pay everything up front. No interest charges. But as others have said, it usually helps to make sure the college kid has some financial "skin" in the game. That usually means their name on the loan. Even if the parent cosigns. Interesting about your dh. Many people of our generation were able to pay their own way through college. Or graduate with small loans. But that is not as likely now. Just room and board is usually 6k to 8k a year, and that doesn't cover 21-meals a week. I had to keep punching my dh in the arm as he waxed nostalgic about his dorm life, his professors, or how his parents wrote a check each semester that covered everything. None of my dh's memories apply to today's world!!! Also--don't just look at the sticker price of the colleges. Yes, state universities have a lower price on the window. But private colleges often offer much larger grants and scholarships than state schools. So the end price can be fairly similar. The cost of dd attending a small, private college is only a couple thousand dollars more a year than ds attending a huge state school. But if you only looked at the "Manufacturers Suggested Retail Price," the private school is more than twice the cost! Finally, our son also did not want to go to college fairs. He did not want to visit campuses. He acted like we were inconveniencing him to discuss college. Like your son, he shoved his head into the sand. More than a year into the process, he admitted it scared him to death. He told us he just wanted to stay a kid forever and didn't want to become an adult. But life doesn't give us that luxury. Your ds will come around. But you may have to be much more proactive than you'd like!
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Post by Mayleng on Feb 23, 2010 13:19:01 GMT -5
Thank you very much Sharon, wow! The financial landscape is sooooo complicated. You cleared up some of the fog surrounding me.
My husband did not come from a well to do family, family of 8 boys, father did 3 jobs. They could not afford to send him to college, so he went to work, and went to the local State University, and then did his MBA while he was working too. His son does not come from the same mould, LOL! either that or kids these days are just too privileged and expect too much in my opinion. My son wants to stay a kid forever too. Hell! I want to stay a kid forever too.
Do Private colleges offer grants to B students "middle class" families ? I checked some of them, and only see scholarships for sports or academics or needs based. My son will not qualify for either. Unless they give scholarships for a B student. I will definitely not discount the private schools.
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Post by SharonF on Feb 23, 2010 14:10:51 GMT -5
Yes, private colleges give away money to kids who are B students, aren't gifted in sports or music, or aren't below the poverty line.
But the amount they give away varies. Not just between colleges, but even within the same college from year to year.
If you haven't heard the term "enrollment management," google it. Simply put, each college is trying to lure a student body that enables them to fulfill their mission and keep their niche (or change their niche if that's what the Board of Directors desires.) They want a certain mix of students that creates the right "persona" for that college.
We all know the Ivy League persona. But each college has its own personality. And that personality is created and maintained by careful enrollment management.
So if they want more kids from other parts of the country (or world), or to start a field hockey team, or more boys on campus, or fewer commuters, or fewer engineering majors--colleges will entice potential students with money. Or may try to dissuade students by NOT offering them money.
For example, if they have too many applicants interested in Musical Theatre, the college may not have enough professors or even room on the stage. And having too many kids in that one major may change the persona of the college. So the college may decide one year not to offer grants and scholarships to as many would-be Musical Theatre majors. They may offer more grants to math majors--in hopes of shedding a public image of only being a fine arts school. Or whatever. The emphasis can change from year to year, depending on the types of applicants the college receives.
That's why it's absolutely crucial to visit the college. Not only to see how big the dorm rooms are. Or how cool the Student Center is. But to find out what that college sees as its mission. What types of students is it trying to attract (beyond the usual: capable, interesting, innovative, hardworking, blah blah.) Talk to the Admissions Director. Talk to the students. Talk to the professors in DIFFERENT disciplines (not just the one area your kid might major in.)
Grants=free money with only a few strings attached. There are need-based grants, usually federal. There can be grants for students who are the first in their family to go to college. And there are grants offered by the college just because they WANT your student.
Rules definitely vary, but the minimum gpa required for many grants is reasonable. Some grants have no minimum gpa in college. Or the gpa requirement only applies to courses in the student's major. Some government grants, especially provided by state governments, are drying up in this lousy economy. That hurts! Other grants come from the college's endowment (bank account and stock holdings.) The college has a lot more control over that money. But stock holdings have tanked, reducing some campus-funded grant programs.
Private colleges use grants as a crucial way of attracting students who may not be getting straight As in high school, but have the other essential qualities that college wants in its overall student body. Maybe the grant is based on the student's demonstrated leadership. Maybe it's their intended major. Maybe it's as simple as gender or hometown. It's all part of enrollment management. My dd is getting more aid in grants than in scholarships.
Scholarships=free money with strings. Some donors of scholarship money only want their gift to go to a certain gender, certain religion, certain ethnicity, certain major, etc. That is legal. Some scholarships are tied to academic performance before and during college. My dd is getting a couple different merit-based scholarships, all with different requirements/pre-reqs. No huge dollar amounts, but they all help. In addition to grades, merit scholarships are awarded to athletics, musicians, researchers, etc...all based on "merit" or past and current performance in the area of that scholarship.
Again--you'll need to visit the college. Talk with the Financial Aid office. Most college Web sites and brochures don't list all of the potential grants and scholarships. They promote the big-ticket items. But there may be more scholarships and grants that are not listed on that page or in that brochure. And like my dd, your son may get a bunch of smaller grants and scholarships rather than one big one.
Finally, be careful with the term "financial aid." Most colleges consider loans to be "aid." Even loans where the student/family pays both principal and interest. So drill down. Ask questions. Ask what has to be paid back. Ask what is truly free.
You'll survive this!!
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Post by healthy11 on Feb 23, 2010 18:00:33 GMT -5
To give another very specific example of what Sharon is talking about, I'll explain what happened to my son as he applied to the two colleges that were my husband's alma mater, and my alma mater: Although my son was accepted to both, and both offer engineering, my alma mater offered a significant scholarship, but my husband's university offered no money at all. This seemed odd, especially in view of my son knowing several other students with similar grades and ACT/SAT scores, who did get scholarship offers...
We ended up getting a call from some alumni rep at my husband's college, asking about our son's plans, and we told them that their lack of financial help put them "down the list" as far as the likelyhood our son would attend. The college rep ended up saying that several departments (ie, Journalism) got specific endowments from the estates of former graduates, and that's why students in those majors were getting scholarships, while others were not. I'm not sure if you and your husband went to college in the U.S., but I would definitely encourage your son to apply to your alma maters, if the school offers a major he would consider. Sometimes they will relax admission criteria and/or offer more generous scholarships to "legacy" students.
As far as where your son wants to attend school, don't worry about it or let it limit your son's applications...My son kept saying he wanted to go "far away, out of state" but the week before the decision deadline, he decided to stay nearby... he comes home every weekend and keeps in touch with his girlfriend and other former high school classmates that are still in the area.
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Post by Mayleng on Feb 23, 2010 18:07:04 GMT -5
Thank You Sharon, wanna come with me to visit the colleges? LOL!
On average, how many colleges should one apply to?
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Post by healthy11 on Feb 23, 2010 19:06:43 GMT -5
My son applied to 6. When my son was graduating, we were told the typical student now applies to 5-7 colleges, but several kids we know only applied to 2 or 3, while others had applied to over a dozen. The "common ap" and online applications now allow many kids to complete one essay and forward it to several universities, and not all colleges require application fees (usually state schools do, but private universities may not.)
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Post by Mayleng on Feb 23, 2010 20:17:13 GMT -5
Thanks Healthy. The good thing about SUNY schools is that you can apply online once on one standard form and it will be sent to all the SUNY schools you want to apply to.
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Post by majorv on Feb 23, 2010 23:43:57 GMT -5
There are plenty of grants and scholarships out there but you have to look for them. I just looked and our HS's website has a scholarship bulletin out there with 14 pages of grants/scholarships seniors can apply for. Some have restrictions on who can apply, but many don't. They also listed a number of websites that have information on scholarships. After my daughter was admitted she found there were additional scholarships available through her school.
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Post by Mayleng on Feb 24, 2010 7:42:25 GMT -5
Thanks Majorv.
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Post by SharonF on Feb 24, 2010 9:23:28 GMT -5
The general "rule of thumb" is that most students should apply to about six schools: two 'stretch/reach' schools, two 'match' schools and two 'safety' schools. collegeapps.about.com/od/choosingacollege/f/HowManySchools.htmMy dd knows a 12th grader from her old high school who only applied to 'reach' schools. Either he thought too highly of his chances or got bad advice. Now he's whining constantly on FB and in texts that he didn't get in to the prestigious schools, it's not fair, what should he do, blah blah. He needs to get his butt in gear and apply to schools that are a better match for his SAT, GPA and overall profile. I know a girl dd's age who also overshot and was not accepted at any of her first-round schools. She regrouped and applied to a far less prestigious state U. She got in--just a few weeks before high school graduation. I saw her mom this past weekend. Mom says her dd loves it. Small classes. Less pressure. Probably worked out for the best. I know of kids who apply to 15 colleges or more That makes sense if you have the money for all those applications, have the time to fill out all that paperwork/copy transcripts, or if the stakes for acceptance are really high. But for most kids, applying to that many schools is more about 'bragging' than it is about improving your chances. Also--getting your son's references to write six letters of recommendation (one letter for each college application) is about the max. Asking references to each write ten or 15 separate letters of recommendation is, in many cases, unrealistic. Especially if they are teachers who write LOTS of letters of recommendation for their students. My son applied to six schools and got into four. My dd applied to four schools, got into 3 and was wait-listed at the fourth.
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Post by healthy11 on Feb 24, 2010 10:42:31 GMT -5
One smart thing my son's high school did was to have all the seniors fill out a "biography," including a list of all their club activities in and out of school, any leadership positions, volunteer and work experiences, etc. and what they hoped to major in. The college counseling office kept them on file so that teachers writing recommendations could refer to them. Quite bluntly, most students only ask one or two favorite instructors to write recommendations, and usually those teachers already know something about the student's interests. (ie, my son asked his physics teacher for a letter, and she knew he had a strong science aptitude and desire to study engineering.) We found teachers usually just keep the recommendation letters on their computers, so they can easily print out more copies on the school's letterhead, if kids apply to a bunch of schools. (It's writing the first one that's toughest!) We did give that particular teacher a nice thank-you gift at the end of the year....
In your son's case, Mayleng, perhaps it would be good to have a recommendation from an academic teacher in the language arts dept. (if your son likes writing) and a second recommendation from his volleyball coach, talking about his "tenacity, etc" when he suffered his broken leg and continued to provide support the rest of the team, showing up for their practices and competitions.....
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Post by Mayleng on Feb 24, 2010 11:52:12 GMT -5
When do we start asking the teachers to write the letters of recommendations, now?
My son hates his English teacher, LOL! Said she killed his love of writing, sigh! Hopefully, she does not hate him like he thinks she does.
My son's coaches are goofy, irresponsible people, I doubt they can put a letter together unfortunately.
Are the letters of recommendation really important and do they have to be addressed to each individual college? In which case we have to tell the teachers which college (we still don't know which ones yet).
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Post by SharonF on Feb 24, 2010 13:00:11 GMT -5
Letters of recommendation should be written when he starts applying, usually the fall of his senior year. But he can start thinking now about who he might ask to write those letters. And he can even say, "Mrs. Smith, when I start applying to colleges in the fall, is it okay if I ask you to write a letter of reference for me?"
Each reference letter should be written as specifically as possible. Rather than "To Whom it May Concern" make sure the address block is for that specific college. And it should say "Dear Mr. Jones"--or the exact name of the Admissions or Enrollment Director at that school. Of course, your son must provide all of that information to each person who is writing a letter of reference for him.
All reference letters are to be sealed with the author's handwritten initials on the seal of the envelope. (Of course, your son can ask for a copy of the letter to see what they said about him!!)
If possible, letters of reference should not just brag about why your son is a great kid. The letter should explain why your son belongs at THAT particular college. The writer should give specifics as to why he's a great match for that school and it's unique mission. Again, it's all about enrollment management.
Standard is three letters of recommendation: a teacher; a person who's supervised your son in an organized activity such as sports, scouts, 4-H, theatre group, etc; and a third perspective: his work supervisor, religious leader, volunteer coordinator, etc. ALL letters of reference should focus on the student's high school years. Not middle school or before, unless there was something extremely unusual that happened in the early years that makes that student a great fit for that college.
YES--letters of recommendation can be extremely important. Especially if the kid isn't valedictorian or doesn't have an eye-popping SAT score. Some colleges **ONLY** look at GPAs and SATs. But most colleges look at more than that. And it's not just about admissions. It's also about getting scholarships/grants. If your son's resume and letters of reference describe the kind of student they want, they may offer more in grants and scholarships. That goes beyond what they can tell by his SAT or GPA.
I also had my kids include a "resume" with their college applications. It's a lot like a resume for a job, but it summarized their accomplishments and activities while in high school. Simple but effective.
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Post by momfromma on Feb 24, 2010 13:06:55 GMT -5
ds asked for his letters of recommendation at the end of junior year, as teachers are often asked to write a lot of them. He chose two teachers he really had a good rapport with, and the third one was provided by the guidance counselor. Letters were sent directly from the school to the colleges he applied to. We saw one of them as the teacher sent it to ds and it was extremely positive. We did not see the other ones, but they must have been fine.
Depending where your son wants to go, these letters are more or less important. For my ds whose SATs were not good, they were very important as was the fact that he knew what major he wanted to follow. Also, one of the schools told us that they prefer a lower SAT score with a higher GPA than the opposite.
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Post by Mayleng on Feb 24, 2010 13:30:07 GMT -5
My son is not going to like asking for those letters of recommendations, and we really have no control as to how the teachers are going to write as specifically as you mentioned Sharon.
You're killin' me here!
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Post by SharonF on Feb 24, 2010 13:57:31 GMT -5
Obviously, you cannot and should not tell the person writing letters of recommendation what they should say. And high school teachers, especially those teaching college-prep courses to 11th and 12th graders, usually know what to write--and what NOT to write. But if they don't know much about the college--it can help if your son tells them why he's applying there. Even something as simple as "I think I'll do better at a smaller school with a smaller teacher/student ratio" can help. A teacher writing the letter of recommendation can then explain how she's seen your son do really well in smaller group settings where he can share information freely with other students. Or a scout leader can explain how your son flourishes when he's working with small groups of younger kids who need a role model. Just little tidbits of information about WHY he's applying to a school can be adapted by the author to help describe why your son belongs at that college. Of course, if he's applying to a college because the girls there are hot, it's a long ways from the watchful eyes of mom and dad, the basketball team was #1 in the NCAA, or his cousin is going there and has a car...those aren't good reasons--at least from the Admissions Department's perspective!
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Post by SharonF on Feb 24, 2010 14:05:36 GMT -5
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Post by healthy11 on Feb 24, 2010 16:28:20 GMT -5
I didn't pay to have an outside college advisor, like Sharon did, but our efforts couldn't have been too bad, as my son was accepted to all 6 of the colleges he applied to. I know his teacher's letters of recommendation were NOT specific to each college, but they did talk about my son's strengths in science and engineering.
To tell you the truth, my son's high school had just hired a new college counselor because the former one retired, and the woman was clueless about technical universities (her background was "lib arts") and she didn't know any of the students very well. I actually wrote up a "letter of recommendation" for her and suggested that she send it, in addition to my son's physics teacher's more personalized recommendation. She seemed "relieved" that I'd basically done it for her, and just "tweaked" a couple of sentences before sending it to the colleges. ( I wrestled with whether or not to have the counselor "reveal" that my son had LDs in the recommendation letter. In the end, we decided to say something about how my son didn't let his learning challenges interfere with the regular college-prep curriculum. We pointed out that although it wasn't mandatory, and it did not help his GPA, he took several years of foreign language classes.)
Mayleng, in your son's case, he doesn't have to ask his current English teacher for the recommendation; perhaps he's got better rapport with one of his former instructors in that department, or a related area. If he's got good relationships with other adults who would write recommendations, great, then he might not need to bother with the sports guys. As far as the volleyball coach goes, if he does need another recommendation, you might try the "roundabout" approach...... maybe have your son just ask the guy if he'd mind giving out his email address, saying that "my mom had a question to ask you about college stuff."
Then, email the coach and basically say, "Mr. Smith, It seems like just yesterday when Johnny first entered ABC School, and soon he'll be a Senior. I know one of the highlights of his time here has been participating on the volleyball team, under your leadership. We'd be most grateful if you were willing to submit a college recommendation letter on his behalf. I realize it's probably not something you do every day, so if it helps, I've written a general note below, but please modify as you see fit. (I know the above sounds a bit kiss-a**, but you're trying to get on his good side. Most lazy teachers won't rewrite a thing in the recommendation, but will be happy to copy whatever you give them.)
Dear Admissions Officer:
I'm writing this recommendation letter on behalf of Johnny Mayleng, whom I first met in 2007 during try-outs for the Freshman volleyball league. I've been on the staff of ABC High School for (many) years, and have seen a lot of students over that time. (Explain as you see fit....maybe say "Johnny was a quiet guy, who impressed me from the start with his abilities and desire to improve his skills," or maybe say "like most young students, Johnny had a lot of energy and desire, but also had plenty of room for improvement. He seldom complained, and always worked hard to become one of the key members of our team.) What impressed me the most, and shows much Johnny has grown over the years, is exemplified by how he dealt with a very difficult challenge last season. In one of our first weeks of practice, Johnny suffered a broken leg. While some students might use an injury as an excuse to avoid time committment to a team, Johnny demonstrated real responsibility. He came to every game and practice, even though he couldn't play the remainder of the season. He's a dedicated team member, and inspiring to the people around him. He gives his best, whether on the court or off, and I think he's the type of student that would be an asset to your school. " If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. Sincerely, Mr. Smith
Mayleng, I've only generated the above as a "brief example." The more you can have the coach share about your son's positive qualities, the better, especially if his strengths are more visible in ways besides grades and SAT scores. I know that there was a book I looked at from my local library, written for teachers who need to generate recommendation letters, but I don't recall the title offhand. If I stumble across it, I'll let you know.....
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Post by Mayleng on Feb 24, 2010 16:34:06 GMT -5
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Post by Mayleng on Feb 24, 2010 16:50:22 GMT -5
Thanks Healthy. Your idea and letter sounds good. The problem I have is that my dear son is not going to go out for Varsity this fall. Once his coach finds out, he is not going to be happy about it and I doubt he would be writing a good recommendation (that is if he can write at all). Maybe I can get his JV coach to do it.
You can see my son is not making it easy for me. I feel like such a Debbie downer when you gals have given such great advice. Everything I ask my son, he answers "I don't know".
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Post by Mayleng on Feb 24, 2010 16:53:32 GMT -5
I am going to get him to ask his 10th grade Global Studies teacher (she loves him), his current math teacher (loves him too) or try his English teacher (whom my son says is indifferent to him, LOL!) .
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Post by healthy11 on Feb 24, 2010 23:34:58 GMT -5
All those folks have probably written many recommendations in the past, so your son shouldn't have to worry about their ability to generate letters for him. Still, I do think it would be good for him to ask the teachers before school lets out for this summer, so they can work on it at their leisure.
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Post by jisp on Feb 25, 2010 6:18:19 GMT -5
Some teachers will actually work on the letter of recommendation with the student. That is what my son's English teacher did.
Mayleng-I am a huge supporter of a gap year. College is so expensive these days that it really pays to have a child who has some grounding in the real world and knows why they are there before they go. Also there is little rush to graduate these days since the job market is so poor.
My son is taking a sort of gap-year. Although the first semester was spent as a typical college student in a program (SEA.EDU), this semester he is doing a wide variety of things. And the result is that he is gaining skills and also knowledge about himself and what he wants to study and even what type of professors he likes and does not like. Lately he is leaning toward computer science because he is doing some work where he is programming a lot. He recently got offered and accepted a job doing yard work on a tall-ship, and I am excited about him gaining some manual labor skills. Having a wide variety of skills under one's belt is going to be key in succeeding in what will probably be the toughest job market in over a century.
The other bonus to his year off is that he is no longer as stressed or tied up with the obsession of getting into the "right school". Being out in the world makes you realize how silly that all is and I he sees that the kid who graduated from University of Chicago is waiting tables while the kid who went to some lesser known state school got accepted to their first choice graduate program.
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Post by teacherabc on Feb 25, 2010 6:33:30 GMT -5
I am reading this thread with interest...My dd (the one without ADHD) is a junior and like your son, Mayleng, wants to hide her head in the sand when it comes to college. She is afraid of the whole thing. She only knows that she wants to go far, far away from mom and dad, or at least from home. She doesn't know whether she wants big or small, country or city...She has the prerequisites to get into most places but she is so afrais she doesn't want to talk about any of the materials she brings home from the counselor. That is about all they do, hand out papers. So it will be up to me to guide her through the process--not the school's strong suite--too big and busy. I am nudging her toward going on a couple tours this spring break. She says most of her friends are going to just be applying to SUNYs (money issues, I guess) so why does she need to tour others--I tell her she is not eliminating anything yet. The way I am selling her now on looking at a few is that we get away and get to stay at a hotel for a night or two...We are going to look at Princeton (a stretch, but possible) and perhaps a school or two in the Philadelphia are. I hoped to get a friend to come to make it fun but...
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