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Post by healthy11 on Jul 11, 2016 14:21:30 GMT -5
Don't beat yourself up! You said your daughter found the summer position ~ her motivation to apply for the job was obviously strong, and she followed through to get hired. Those may not be "book smarts," but they are important life skills. Being a camp counselor may be the first time "the tables have been turned" where she is in a position of being the instructor/teacher/person "in charge," and having the younger kids as her "students." Paying attention to them may, in fact, help improve her listening comprehension skills. Even interacting with other camp counselors, and overhearing what kinds of plans they have, and what they want to major in at college, may give her more insights into what career she'd eventually like to have. While your daughter may not be focusing directly on her "academic development," there can be tremendous benefits from her holding a summer job, too!
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Post by fc11 on Jul 12, 2016 4:42:07 GMT -5
I have not been updating, honestly, I am just depressed and have so many things piling up...healthy, thanks. I saw the value of the summer job.
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Post by healthy11 on Jul 12, 2016 9:01:32 GMT -5
((hugs))
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Post by fc11 on Jul 14, 2016 3:39:37 GMT -5
I am still struggling with the idea of keeping her for another year in HS....I haven't committed to the HS, and sent in the deposit for the college.... I saw a benefit of her working, she seems to begin to be able to think logically. Thinking has been difficult for her to connect the pieces, not that she has a problem with daily interaction, but given a complicated task, it is difficult for her to get a solution from beginning to end (hence you can see the difficulty with her study)...However, I saw glimpses of this when she described her work...she is the assistant camp counselor for 2nd graders...
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Post by healthy11 on Jul 14, 2016 16:52:36 GMT -5
fc11, my son, now age 26, still seems to have difficulty explaining situations to us in ways that my husband and I can comprehend. I would describe his way of thinking as "non-sequential," and to us it's not very logical, but he's been able to function in the various jobs he's held thusfar. In his case, the "first job experience" which he obtained in high school (he worked as an usher at a movie theater, part-time, for about 2 years) not only gave him more self-confidence interacting with "neurotypical peers" but it also gave him more resolve to go to college, because he didn't want to be like some of the other workers, aged 30-40, who were still earning minimum wage at the theater.
While your daughter is now a summer camp counselor, I wonder if there might be a way for her to gain additional experience in some kind of part-time job (perhaps as a day-care assistant, like at an after-school program) whether she attends a follow-on high school session, or even if she were to take a few classes at a junior college? If she has a chance to continue to earn some money, it may help make her feel more mature and responsible, even if she's not going to a 4-year college like other kids.
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Post by fc11 on Aug 16, 2016 0:43:56 GMT -5
Thank you for all the help...I have been very depressed....I am going to slowly update here... Schools - we have "decided" that it is better for her to stay for another year of high school. It is part of the settlement and the sd is supposed to pay for it, but I don't want her to waste another year just because the SD is paying a portion of it... I felt that she has problem getting what was taught in class, but it was hard to see her peers went to college... She didn't say anything, but I suspected she felt the same, she had told me a couple of times that she found out it was okay to go to college when she is 19 as she found out from her friends...i.e. she has thought about it and talked about it and it seems to be something in her mind... then I also do not know whether this new school is suitable for her, it is not a sped school, but smaller class size. but from the little review I read, it seems that the school did not really teach and the curriculum is not demanding, but then I told myself she needed to be used to smaller class size as it would be what she needed in college... I also paid the deposit for a local college, I should withdraw her, but I haven't done it... I am worry... (it is part of the depression I think... and probably at this point I am still not sure whether I made the right decision for her and with her)....
Summer - she did not go to Landmark for Summer, she was accepted and it would be part of the settlement as well, but she likes her summer job as a counselor. I think she also benefits from the job besides making $20/day...She finally found people of her own age and she got to go out with them...They do not see her as a special needs kid who has no clue. Honestly, I am concerned because she will be going out with boys, I have no problem, but I like her to be in a group, but I realize that I should let go as she will be 18 soon..I can see she begins to reason say when I told her something, she would say that she didn't believe as it did not make sense... I pointed out that it was what she needs when she sits in a class... She just begin volunteering as an EMS...they gave her a schedule which she needed to change and she could handle it herself..when she was not sure, she showed up... there was another volunteer whom she would like to switch the schedule with, they had been communicating in email, she told me she wanted to get his phone number, but felt that she should not be asking for phone number up front, therefore she asked him what was a better way to contact him if she wanted to switch in the last minute, he gave her his number...I thought it was a big improvement as I used to dictate the mail for her...I am not sure whether it was due to maturity or that because of the exposure in the sped school last year and the summer job...(then Sometimes I felt that she may be ready for college...)
I haven't got to the DVR yet....but hopefully in two weeks after her work...I looked into the arrowsmith program, bottom line is that it may require a number of years and I felt that she may be able to improve besides investing the number of years into it... I will give a detailed reasoning later...
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Post by fc11 on Aug 16, 2016 2:22:55 GMT -5
healthy I wish DD is more like your son who could see through the hardship other workers face. I think she wants to go to college because it is what other kids do...
DD really enjoys her work in the camp and talks about the tips she got, besides early $20/day, after working for 7 weeks, she received $85 tips and she thought it is a big deal and is looking forward to next year earning minimum wage, I tried to tell her that she won't be able to support herself, she won't even have money to pay her rent...but I don't think she understood what it meant...she felt quite good to spend the $85 with her friends.... As much as I don't want it to be her career goal, but I do think that working help her....
Two years ago, when she took her first and only job at an ice skating rink, she decided to miss the first day of work because we might go for a vacation, I told her she had to find someone to substitute her, she said no need because her manager could find someone or just substitute her..but in the day camp she told me the owner really likes her and then she told me the trouble one of the counselor caused when the counselor did not show up one day...she realizes she has to give some notice....then I was happy when she decided to show up at the EMS when she did not get a response on whether someone can switch with her....She came a long way to learn to take up responsibility... in a sense I felt that it may help her when she goes to college, she will hopefully be more confidence....
Just hope that i have made the right decision for her..
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Post by healthy11 on Aug 19, 2016 11:46:56 GMT -5
fc11, it sounds like your daughter has learned a lot from her job experience this summer. It is very encouraging to hear you describe the way that your daughter got the other EMS volunteer's phone number, and that she now realizes the importance of showing up when scheduled if she can't find a substitute.
Forgive me if I misunderstood, but has your daughter already been offered a job as a senior counselor at the same camp next summer? Or were you talking about her finding a different (full-time?) job earning minimum wage after she is done attending the extra year of high school?
Right now, it may be hard for your daughter to understand how difficult it could be to support herself with only a minimum-wage job, because she probably has not had to pay for her food or clothes or rent. Also, the people she was working with at the camp were probably all young, not mixed ages like my son worked with. I remember when my son told us that he saw the 30-something-year-old movie theater assistant manager driving a beat-up old car, and he realized that it was in worse condition than the 10 year old vehicle we allowed him to use. Because my son likes cars, it was "motivating" for him to dream about what automobile he could someday afford to buy for himself, and he realized getting any new car would be impossible if he only earned minimum wage. He has always liked "mechanical things," and while he doesn't like reading or writing, his interest in science and math made him think about becoming an engineer...for that, he knew he had to get a college degree.
For your daughter, waiting to attend college, especially since she doesn't have a career chosen yet, sounds like a good plan. As this coming year proceeds, it could be helpful to discuss a few more college options with her, and be sure to visit/talk to the local community college representatives. (They may even have arrangements with certain 4-year schools where she could transfer later.) Try to take one day at a time, and look ahead, not dwell on the past. Our best wishes to her, and your entire family.
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Post by fc11 on Aug 21, 2016 20:35:59 GMT -5
Hi Healthy, she is trying to get a job in the same camp for next year but will be getting minimum wage..however, she was happy to tell me that she found out how to get a job as a cashier in the supermarket It has been difficult to get her to learn the money sense... she earned a total of $200 tips and is happily spending it....
She was accepted to one of the local colleges, she was happy and decided that it will be where she attends next year....I tried to get her to visit the college where she was accepted, she was not interested. I tried to get her to visit other colleges, she did not want to go...I can see the reason why, we visited a couple last year and I could see that she was lost during the presentation, i.e. she totally not following the presenter... and she had no idea on what to ask...therefore, for her it would be easier not to go... however, it is the same reason I had concerns that she is not able to follow the lecture material...
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Post by healthy11 on Aug 21, 2016 21:59:45 GMT -5
fc11, Things are always changing! Remember, your daughter has already shown signs of growth this summer, that she didn't display last year. Although your daughter may not have grasped what the presenters at the college were saying last year, it doesn't meant she'll never be able to comprehend. Hopefully, since she will be attending another year of high school, some of her fellow soon-to-be-graduating classmates will be talking about their plans, and maybe that will encourage her to consider different options. I still feel it's wise for all students to have a career in mind, before attending any 4-year school. It doesn't mean they can't switch majors, but it helps to have a goal from the start. If they don't, then community college might be a better option, to get "general education courses" out of the way, before taking electives.
If you feel that the local college where she was accepted is a decent place, then have you asked them to "defer your daughter's enrollment" until 2017? Find out what their "open house" dates are for this coming semester, and take her to tour their facilities. In fact, ask if they can arrange a "shadow visit," where she would follow an existing student to classes for a day, and perhaps even spend a night with the student in the dorms. I would also request a meeting with the school's "Disability Support Department" since it's vitally important to know what services they can provide and what documentation is required to qualify for their assistance. If your daughter is still unwilling to visit, explain to her that attending college is a very expensive commitment, so it could make more sense to wait another year or two if your daughter isn't sure what she would study, or look at other colleges if she doesn't feel comfortable after seeing that school.
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