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Post by ikisskittiesonlips on Nov 4, 2003 9:09:43 GMT -5
TEXTTEXTI know I'm not the first to wonder how much more I can take when it comes to our children's ADHD. We all know it's not their fault, but some days are just so unbearable. My son is 10 and diagnosed with ADHD and ODD this past summer. We've been through three different pediatricians, numerous psychologists and psychiatrists, 5 different meds, none of which have been effective. For those of us who have children that don't respond to meds, (at least not yet), it's beyond frustrating. Ever see those commercials for ADHD medications, like Strattera, Concerta, etc.? Don't you just want to scream? We kind of get these preconcieved expectations that, "Oh, if Johnny takes this, he'll be all better! He'll get straight A's, have TONS of friends. We can eat dinner without having a screaming match, and I won't have to patch anymore holes in the walls! Neato!" Then we try it, and reality flattens us like an ant on a train track. We read success stories here in these forums, and we honestly are happy for those that meds work for, but we're also a little bit jealous. Admit it, you know it's true. And all we can do is keep trying, trying, trying. And hoping, hoping, hoping. Of course it takes a lot more than meds to have good results, it's a combination of so many things. We know our children are exceptional, they just can't show it as well because of these illnesses, and that's really frustrating. We feel envious because we all want our children to be success stories. So, for those of us parents whose children are still on that medication merry-go-round and you're going through doctors like there's no tomorrow, the next time you see a Johnny, it's okay to feel jealous. It's just natural.
Dulcey ^..^
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Post by hopeful on Nov 4, 2003 10:50:51 GMT -5
Boy, I have felt exactly the same way. Thanks for putting my thoughts into words.
We're doing much better with the medication, but we still have issues. The problem is, I wonder if/when I'll ever get to breath a sigh of relief that we actually have a med that works longer than a couple of months.
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Post by JV on Nov 4, 2003 10:52:30 GMT -5
Dulcey, You've expressed your feelings quite well, I must say, I have felt all of that! It may be hard to do right now since your in the battle of finding the right combination of meds, drs, psych. but your doing everything right. I just wanted to give you encouragement to know that without you, your 10 yo would have no-one in his corner to do battle most of our kids wouldn't without parents who choose to "help them succeed". Every parent on this website is choosing to do something to help, and its just a matter of time before we find the right things that work, it took us years to get to where we are today, my son is 11 and at the moment doing well, but it has been a constant battle, from nursery school til now (6th grade), the constant short lived ups- and all of the downs, I think by the end of 5th grade, we were all ready to be medicated, we had been suffering so long, and I just cant imagine how much worse it was for my child with adhd. It helped alot to have a psych. who would see my son, and myself at the same appt, we were there for my sons appt, but he asked me alot of questions too, gave me support, acknowledged my pain too, which at the time I did not realize was so obvious it was all i could do not to cry, he has helped us as a family. Just know that even though there are no known "cures" for this, you might be able to find people out there who can help you manage with this. Keep trying, your definitly doing the right thing.  JV |
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Post by jachkldavis on Nov 4, 2003 14:35:28 GMT -5
[Boy, I have felt exactly the same way. Thanks for putting my thoughts into words] I couldnt have said it better myself! We are trying to find the right med. I just called the dr back today b/c Focalin is not working for my son. I know its frustrating and the hardest thing we will ever do but hang in there. My sanity is these boards! I have only been here for a week or so but I dony know how I lived without them! Christine  |
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Post by Mayleng on Nov 4, 2003 14:42:28 GMT -5
I struggled for over a year with the decision to medicate, only to find meds turned my son into a stranger. Nothing worked well enough without unacceptable side effects. Finally, on three different meds we found something that worked half way good. THREE DIFFERENT MEDS just to get half the results most kids get on Stimulants! I had a lot of envy of people who had the right medication. After 6 months of settling for the least worst medication with so-so results, we finally struck gold and are now down to one medicine good results and no side effects My advice to everyone in this situation is just keep trying new things and different combos. There are many parents out there who's children are on the wrong med with side effects they shouldn't be accepting and changes to the child that shouldn't be happening. That you are still looking for a good treatment is better than settling for a bad one. But when grades are good, some parents are happy. I think a child is better off on no meds at all than on something that is making them miserabe. I'd rather have a struggling "C" student who's happy ;D and himself  than a miserable straight "A" student who won't sleep,  becomes obsessive  and makes my life hell  (my personal bad experience). Happiness is more important than grades. I think there are things we have to trade for a good treatment, but Happiness should never be one of them. |
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Post by mattandchris on Nov 4, 2003 18:13:59 GMT -5
Dulcey,
I felt much the same as you at first. It took us nearly 2 1/2 years to get him referred for an evaluation by a psychologist. Due to insurance we needed to jump through a lot of hoops. In the meantime, living in our home was not a pleasant existance. I spent so much time dealing with my son, I was exhausted. We also continued to butt heads. Often we both went to bed in tears. I think we were both frustrated. My husband pointed to laziness as the problem and my son not caring to do his chores or school work correctly. Last year, he relented that there was actually a problem. Teachers saw that my son wanted to succeed but could seem to complete the things he needed to be successful. Last May he began taking Straterra. At first I didn't see much of a change, but my husband did. We were lucky. He is having a great year. No, he doesn't have straight As, nor many new friends. I do know that we are all a whole lot happier. We have a long way to go, but we have started the journey.
I do hope things calm for you and your son.
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Post by ikisskittiesonlips on Nov 7, 2003 18:57:26 GMT -5
Well, the doctor increased Zach's dosage of Concerta to 36. If we could find something that would decrease his hyperactivity and anger some, I know I can handle most of the other behavior problems. When I pray, I don't ask for a miracle, just some improvement.
Dulcey ^..^
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Post by augustnyne on Nov 9, 2003 9:09:37 GMT -5
Boy do I understand how you feel! So many times I've wondered "how much more of this can we take". One thing for sure is, I'm glad I found this place, cause it helps us to realize we are not alone. Sometimes, when we are in the middle of it, it really feels like we are. I giggled, when you mentioned the Television ads, boy, I've thought the same thing. And that stratterra ad comes on constantly! I've thought, "well we're on it, but not the Beaver Cleaver family you are showing us in this ad". Good luck with the new dosage, I hope it works well for him!!!
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Post by swarmJAG on Nov 12, 2003 22:03:05 GMT -5
I can definitely relate. We do have a lot of success with meds and TC is able to function. The key word being function. Meds can help, but there are so many issues our kids deal with, it can't fix everything. All I can say is keep loving them. We'll make it. I think? |
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Post by Dakotah on Nov 13, 2003 21:49:46 GMT -5
Dulcey you did a beautiful job expressing the life we lead. One year ago I "fell off the deep end". I couldn't take it anymore. I got into bed and didn't get out for almost two weeks. Constant crying and lost all will to keep fighting our son's battles. My dh brought me to the doctor and slowly I was able to regain the strength to face life with an ADHD child. I love my son more than anything in the world but sometimes it just got too hard for me to deal with. Then one day I realized that if I felt this way think of how my son must feel. This is when we decided to get on the "medication merry-go-round". Now we are trying Strattera and Concerta and hoping for the best. My son is five and also has OCD. He is afraid of everything. You need to know my son to understand the huge break through this is but today for the first time ever he asked to go outside and play in the snow. He hates being outside because of the sun, the bugs, the smells, etc. I cried. I am crying right now. These baby steps are what gets me through the day. Now if we could just get him to stop picking his nose... Thanks for letting me share my story.
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Post by Mayleng on Nov 14, 2003 8:34:26 GMT -5
Dakotah, You are right, it is baby steps. I share your joy that your son asked to go play in the snow. I know how BIG this is for you and him. It is wonderful. You will both get there together and he is lucky to have a wonderfuly mother like you.
If you ever find a way of getting him to stopping picking his nose, let me know. I have been trying to stop my guys from doing that forever ;D
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than a miserable straight "A" student who won't sleep, 
becomes obsessive 
and makes my life hell 
(my personal bad experience). Happiness is more important than grades. I think there are things we have to trade for a good treatment, but Happiness should never be one of them. 
