|
Update
Jun 9, 2018 15:31:12 GMT -5
Post by vp4 on Jun 9, 2018 15:31:12 GMT -5
Hello all,
I hope everyone is doing well. I haven't been here in a long while. Have been reading threads when I have some downtime.
Just wanted to give a quick update. My son, the premed student finished his sophomore year. He says he has 3.4 GPA which is likely not enough for medical school admission. I talked to him ever so briefly about needing to bring that number up.
Still on scholarship and that keeps my tuition contributions down to 10k/year, which helps.
He is still painfully shy. Still doesn't move his arms while walking. Don't know if that is some kind of neurosymptom.
I am still worried that medicine isn't a fit. But I am no longer talking to him about it.
Hoping for the best.
Take care.
|
|
|
Update
Jun 9, 2018 22:27:26 GMT -5
Post by healthy11 on Jun 9, 2018 22:27:26 GMT -5
vp4, thank you for "checking in" and letting us know how your son is doing. College can be challenging for many kids, even those without learning issues, so it's good to know that he's still doing well enough to retain his scholarships, and keep the tuition that you're paying at a manageable level. I'm not certain of the criteria to get accepted into all medical programs, but I know that there are a number of students who end up in programs outside of the continental U.S., who still do well in the profession. For example, the American University in Antigua, www.auamed.org has a large modern campus and might be an option if your son is determined to become a doctor.
|
|
|
Update
Jun 12, 2018 9:12:01 GMT -5
Post by kewpie on Jun 12, 2018 9:12:01 GMT -5
Great to hear from you Vp4,
Perhaps he may want to consider going into medical research. It may be a better fit for his personality.
|
|
|
Post by jisp on Jul 7, 2018 13:12:59 GMT -5
vp4 congrats on your son completing his sophomore year.
A few thoughts on his desire to be pre-med. First he needs to think what it is about medicine he enjoys because the medical field is changing and being a doctor is not what it used to be. Medical school is a long haul and before committing to the financial debt and the years of stress and challenges associated with getting a medical degree one should think carefully about whether it is the right path for them. My own daughter is an NP because she knew she wanted to focus on working directly with patients and wanted to start a family before she was 30 (she turned 30 this spring and is expecting).
Depending on his interests here are other ways to be involved with health care and patients that might be a match for him and his interests: Physicians Assistant: PAs are increasingly becoming active members of health care teams and doing a lot of primary care. They work directly with patients. Nursing - Nursing is a changing profession and there is an increasing need for skilled nurses, which means that nursing salaries can be quite good. Nurse Practitioners- These are nurses with additional 2 year graduate degrees who can basically do all the work of doctors (ie: Diagnose, prescribe medications, treat) but they do not do surgery. In some states they need to be supervised by an MD. In other states they can work on their own. Public Health - Public Health degrees can lead to jobs ranging from highly technical research jobs to people who are out in the field collecting data and working with governments and agencies. Health Educators- This is also a profession that is growing and many hospitals and health care organizations are hiring them specifically for their diabetic patients. Paramedic - This may or may not be for your son but it is worth mentioning. As Kewpie mentioned research is also a huge part of the health care industry - My son's GF used to work for a company that does specialized diagnostic testing. She was well paid, had great benefits and just needed a small amount of additional training after getting her Bachelors.
|
|
|
Update
Jul 9, 2018 11:20:29 GMT -5
Post by michellea on Jul 9, 2018 11:20:29 GMT -5
VP4 - So glad to hear from you and learn that your son is doing well. As others have mentioned, there is more than career path as well as path to a specific career. As a rising Junior I hope he can continue to find success and keep an open mind about life and work after college. There are so many fulfilling options - many that might be rewarding and an excellent fit for his interests and personality. Like many young adults, he may not want to hear that from you, but maybe his advisor may be able to help. Also - internships are a great way to learn about the possibilities- beyond what a student may have had in mind when entering college.
|
|
|
Update
Jul 9, 2018 11:32:36 GMT -5
Post by healthy11 on Jul 9, 2018 11:32:36 GMT -5
I don't want to "sidetrack" this discussion, but Jisp, how does it feel to be an "expecting grandmother?" Have you decided what you'd like to be called? www.creatingreallyawesomefunthings.com/grandmother-names/P.S. I am in NO hurry to become a grandparent, but congrats to your daughter on achieving her goal!
|
|
|
Update
Jul 10, 2018 16:52:35 GMT -5
Post by jisp on Jul 10, 2018 16:52:35 GMT -5
Healthy I will post under the update thread Michellea started so as to not hijack this thread.
|
|
|
Update
Aug 12, 2019 20:58:35 GMT -5
Post by vp4 on Aug 12, 2019 20:58:35 GMT -5
This is a sad update.
Senior year about to start. I don't know how he is doing. Still has scholarship. (I am paying my 50% of college expenses.) So, I assume he is doing well. He had never been someone who talked much, especially to me. Called him, texted him asking him to come visit so we can go away on a vacation like we did a year ago. Ignored. I was determined to be in his life. Went to NJ and called and texted to see him. Completely ignored. This week called him again. Got a message saying "this call can't be completed due to calling restrictions." Apparently I had been blocked. I am crushed. So disappointed in myself and him. I did everything I could to help this kid. I am sure I could have done some things better. I don't know why he doesn't want me in his life. He even closed his email accounts and I can't reach him via email. I got a weird call from my cousin a few weeks back. He told me he and his wife bumped into my son and his mother in a restaurant. They spoke and he said he was shocked how negative and illogical his mother is. Well, one of the reasons we are no longer married. I know one reason why my son doesn't want to have anything to do with me. Still shocked and still trying to digest.
This kid...my only child. Fought his mother to allow school to test him. fought school to get what he needed. Sold my retirement funds to pay for his private high school. Never mistreated him except for an occasional raised voice to correct something. He hates me it seems. I don't know why.
|
|
|
Update
Aug 12, 2019 23:11:36 GMT -5
Post by healthy11 on Aug 12, 2019 23:11:36 GMT -5
(((Hugs))) It certainly sounds like the reason he's shutting you out now is because he's under the control and/or incredibly strong influence of your ex-wife. Given that your son is still in school, I suppose you could send snail-mail correspondence to his college address, but there's no way to know if he got it would he open it, much less respond. I wonder if your cousin would be able to act as an intermediary, since it sounds as though your son likely witnessed his mother speaking to your cousin, and therefore could see it as permissible for him to talk to the fellow? Presumably, your cousin's phone number isn't blocked (yet, anyway) but even if your cousin was willing to try to reach out, I'm not sure what you would want him to say, or if your son would listen. It's clear to me that that you still love him, wish him only the best, and would be happy to hear from him at any time. Just as your son has changed his willingness to talk with you this year, I hope that he will change again in the future, and let you back into his life.
|
|
|
Update
Aug 13, 2019 5:08:01 GMT -5
Post by vp4 on Aug 13, 2019 5:08:01 GMT -5
Thank you. I have to give him $500 every year per the divorce agreement. I have done that and more. Will be sending a check shortly and I plan to write him saying sorry for what I may have done to upset him this much. He will read it but he will not respond. I could also go to his school and try to see him. He could refuse to see me. I had gone to his school each of the last 3 years to see him twice every year and take him out to dinner/lunch and talk to him. He doesn't talk much. I thought we made progress towards getting closer when I flew him out to be with me in summer 2018 for 10 days. We went on a road trip. I offered the same thing this summer and he ignored me.
While my cousin probably knows, I am humiliated by the rejection and can't talk to him about it. He has two boys he is very close to.
My marriage failed primarily because of lack of respect. I had warned her many times not to talk bad about me to anyone with a pulse. I told her it is disrespectful and I don't it. During the divorce proceedings I told her she is damaging him by continuing to alienate him from me. She denied. I hadn't said one word about her to my son in years. He is a mama's boy. There is no question she is the main reason for this alienation. I just don't know what I can do anymore.
|
|
|
Update
Aug 13, 2019 8:22:51 GMT -5
Post by healthy11 on Aug 13, 2019 8:22:51 GMT -5
It is impossible for me to know exactly what your son is like to be around, but as you said, I sense he is a mama's boy, and a late "social bloomer" compared to neurotypical young adults. From what I've observed, most teen/early 20-year-old guys prefer to spend their time with peers, and test boundaries, as they grow towards independence. www.webmd.com/parenting/features/teenagers-why-do-they-rebel#1 says, "All teens go through similar phases -- the need for independence, a separate identity, testing authority. It's part of growing up; it's also linked to developmental changes in the brain that will eventually help them become analytical adults. But today's teens get an extra whammy -- social pressures come earlier than in previous generations." Your son doesn't sound like he's ready to separate from his mother yet. I hope that in time, he will mature, and appreciate that he has two parents, not just one. Several months ago, I attended the funeral of the 20-something-year-old daughter of a friend of mine from college. My friend said that he and his wife suspected their daughter had suffered from depression when in school, but their daughter was beyond age 18, and would not seek professional help. She graduated, had a boyfriend, and got what seemed to be a good job, so they were completely shocked/devastated when she died. Everyone presumes that she did not intend to kill herself, but was "self-medicating" and had a bad reaction to some drugs. The parents wish they had done things differently, but nothing they can do now will bring her back. Your son is alive, so there is still hope for the future.
|
|