It has been a while.

[greenie]

Hi all, It has been a while since I have posted, in fact I beleive it has been years. I have always remembered what a blessing all of you have been to me and just wanted to say hello. Mmm..lets see. Daughter is now 28, diagnosed with schizoaffective at the age of 26. I always thought she had adhd, still think she does. We have been through hell and back. The good news is, she is properly medicated and living in LA with her bf who loves her, middle son is 25 was finally diagnosed with aspergers at 23 after a depressive episode. (Finally) and is working as a logger, has a girlfriend, his first and is living at home after a long stint of not living at home
And the youngest..the reason I joined schwab learning so many years ago (profound dyslexia) is working in a machine shop. Time flies, doesn't it.
I became a widow almost 3 years ago. Helping grown kids with various issues can be draining. I feel like I will never catch a break but continue to count my blessings that we are all okay...struggles and all. I hope everyone is doing well.
Amanda
Aka "mytwoboys"
Aka "greenie"

[bros]

Hi greenie! It sounds like the last few years have been a mixed bag. Glad to hear the kids seem to be doing well.

[healthy11]

Dear Greenie,
Please accept our belated condolences on your husband's passing. I did do a search of your recent posts, and it was June 2013 when you previously updated us. While a number of "regular posters" don't post as often any more, I know some still "lurk" and others communicate through private messaging, and they'll be glad to know you're "hanging in there." (Like yours, my son and many of their kids have grown, and are now dealing with other issues beyond school.)

In reading your note above, I find it uplifting that your young adult offspring have FINALLY gotten diagnoses and seem to be getting effective treatments, even if it took far too long for that to happen. I don't mean to pry, but what do you attribute it to? Did they qualify for coverage under Obamacare, compared to maybe not having had any insurance as young adults when they were living on their own before? Or was it just their ages, leaving whatever general pediatrician they used to see, and now getting evaluated by different medical providers and mental health specialists?

In any case, for parents who may still be struggling with their adolescents and wondering if things will ever improve, your post is encouraging, and offers hope. We thank you for keeping us updated. May the New Year bring you and yours (and ALL Millermom members) only the best in terms of good health and happiness.

[greenie]

Healthy
Hi! The kids all moved out and were really struggling. Husband got sick and they would help me out. When he passed, the middle son with aspergers had a major depressive episode. He was insured through my late husbands job and I was able to continue coverage. It was a very rough time. I still ended up paying cash for a private assessement and after a 2 hour evaluation he was finally diagnosed with aspergers and major depressive disorder. He was temporarily medicated, but took himself off the meds. He found a gf. She is really good to him but it is still difficult at times. They moved home recently. I will fill you in more later ♡
Hope you son is well healthy11
I think about all of you often and tell other mothers to come here for a safe place

[healthy11]

Greenie, I know your son isn't the only one who doesn't like meds. I'm pretty sure my son isn't taking his ADHD meds anymore, either, but for the moment, he seems to be doing okay. He had two severe concussions in the 2013/2014 timeframe in motorcycle accidents, to the point he didn't even remember he had graduated from college, had an engineering job, and was living on his own. After recovering, he finally agreed to give up riding motorcycles, and now enjoys fixing up and racing cars in his free time. His new girlfriend is a nurse, and he lives with her and his dog about an hour from us. He's been talking about trying to find a new job, because he hates sitting at a computer all day, but there aren't many other tech companies in his area, and the gf doesn't want to relocate. She suffers from depression, and wants to stay close to her family, who all live in that town. As you say, it's still difficult at times, but all any of us can do is take things one day at a time! Again, I wish you and yours a Happy Holiday!

[eoffg]

Hi Mytwoboys, I recall you from back in the Schwab days!
Where we've all gone through a generation together, as the children are now adults.
Which makes me wonder if some children will be soon be joining up to discuss issues with their own children?
As LD's often continue into the next generation.

Though as a long time member, I wonder about the future of our Millermom forum?
If perhaps we could discuss its potential future?
As it has been relatively quiet in recent times, with only occasional new members.

But this forum is rather unique, as it is a forum to discuss LD's, that began around the time that the internet was first used to bring parents of children with LD's together.
Where I wonder if we could send out an email to all members, asking them to come and post an update on how children, now adults are doing?

If their children, have children with the same LD's? Maybe they might like to read posts by their parent, as they tried to understand their child having the same LD ?

Though I'm not really sure about what I'm talking about?
Other than thinking about a possible future for our Millermom forum?

Perhaps we could have a discussion about the future?

[healthy11]

Eoffg, I understand your concerns about how quiet this Millermom forum has been lately. I also agree with you, that "this forum is rather unique, as it is a forum to discuss LD's, that began around the time that the internet was first used to bring parents of children with LD's together."

At the start of the Millennium, Schawblearning and Millermom's Forums were two of the best places to get reputable information online. Many members joined one forum, and then the other, as soon as they heard about them. It certainly helped that the Schwab Foundation provided funding, and "advertised" the opportunity to engage in parent-to-parent conversations. Unfortunately, as you know, the Schwab Foundation decided to focus on other things and sold most of their resources to Greatschools several years ago. Greatschools initially promised to maintain, and later said they'd archive the old Schwablearning discussions for future reference, but they did not. www.schwabfoundation.org/About-CHSF/Publications/pub_01070802.aspx is about all that's left.

During that time, many other websites "came along" and the number of forums/blogs pertaining to special education topics increased dramatically. A number of those websites have advertising budgets, and operate not only to exchange information, but also for "promotional purposes" such as to advertise their own services, seminars and publications (like Wrightslaw) or they're sites which are sponsored by potentially biased firms, such as pharmaceutical companies, etc. Millermom's is a completely volunteer-run, moderated, impartial forum that operates without a budget. It tries to offer empathy, knowledge and hope to people, based on personal experience, NOT from a perspective of "trying to sell something."

Around 2012, a partnership of 15 non-profits, including LDA and NCLD, got together and created a group forum, which was mentioned at millermom.proboards.com/thread/13930/understood-org
Thankfully, they don't seem to be "pushing a particular agenda." They apparently do have strong financial backing, and advertise widely. They have a facebook page, do twitter chats, etc.

I suspect that when people begin their online search about learning issues now, they are directed to sites such as Understood.org, and they never "make it" past page 1 of the search results to find Millermom's Forum. (To verify what would happen, I did a google search using the words "Child has trouble learning" and the first couple of links were to Understood.org articles.) To tell you the truth, I don't know how we can "compete" against huge consortiums. At this stage, I'm just grateful that we still have volunteers willing to maintain Millermom's Forum so that prior discussion threads and the information contained within them remain available, and when new questions are posted by people who DO come here, we are able to respond.

You suggested the idea of emailing all members to ask how their children/now young adults are now doing, especially given that some of those young adults may now have offspring of their own with similar LDs. I'm not sure if there is a practical way to figure out which of the hundreds, or possibly thousands of registered Millermom members, have actually ever posted on the forum. The email addresses that people used when they registered with may no longer be "in service," and sending "private messages" won't work, if they aren't bothering to log in anymore.

As to the second part of your comment, I can't speak for everyone, but many of us with "young adult children" are grateful that they haven't yet had children of their own. (It's hard enough for them to manage their own lives independently, much less handle the responsibilities of parenthood!) For young adults who have had babies, their children are likely still not school-age, so they probably aren't hearing from teachers about learning difficulties at this point.

[eoffg]

Healthy, thanks for your considered reply, as it helps me to try and work out what I'm thinking about?
I've been involved with the understood.org forum since it started.
Though I wonder if you ever joined their forum, and explored how it works?
Where you'll see why the structure here, is so much better.
As they have used more of a 'Blog' format.
Which is similar to the structure of facebook groups,
Where only current discussions are shown.
Most new members who post a new thread. Don't reply to responses, as they can't find their thread?
So that they don't retain members.
On their forum, a 'Search' will take a member to articles written by their designated 'Experts'.
Which provide certain perspectives.
As opposed to here? Where a search of any topic, will provide members discussions of the topic.

Which brings me to your mention of the loss of the archive of our Schwab discussions, that were lost when they passed to Greatschools.
Where perhaps we could consider the value our Millermom forum, as a 'live archive'?
As you wrote about the loss of Schwab discussions, for future reference.
On other forums, I have seen members post links to here, and stating that it provides a wealth of information.
Where topics have extensively discussed over the years.

Which provide new members, with a unique opportunity. To search for and read a history of discussions of a topic.
So that I wonder about the value, of promoting our millermom forum, as an archive?
That perhaps could separate 'new discussions', from the 'archive'?
That could also help new members to search the archive?

Healthy, what I'm thinking of, is a different forum model?
Where normally, a new member gets started by posting a new discussion thread.
Which can be difficult, as they are often new to the world of 'learning disabilities', and don't know what questions to ask?

But this makes me wonder if as a starting point? New members might be helped to explore the archive, for discussions of topics of their interest?
So that after reading these discussions, they might then post a new thread?

Healthy, when you wrote about the archive of Schwab discussions a future reference?
This really made me think about how our Millermom discussios, could be used be accessed and used as a current reference?
Which as you acknowledged, is rather unique. Having begun with the introduction of the internet.

[healthy11]

Eoffg,
When Greatschools first took over the Schwablearning site, I was one of the few "Schwabbies" (along with dhfl143) who worked closely with Greatschools staff and even had several direct email exchanges with Bill Jackson (their founder and CEO) in an effort to be sure old Schwab discussions were archived and remained available to the general public.

For the first year or so, it seemed as if things were headed "in the right direction." Unfortunately, I believe one of the biggest "stumbling blocks" was that they didn't have a good "search engine" associated with their site, and so it was difficult, even for me, to find past Schwab discussion threads that I KNEW existed, because I wrote them!

To compound the problems, I think Greatschools switched their data storage servers, and they renamed files. For example, a thread that might originally have been identified as "Schwab_Archive_Message_board_12345" got changed and became "Greatschools_13579" so links that people might have saved, or made reference to on sites like Millermoms, were no longer useful. (see millermom.proboards.com/thread/10392/cumulative-list-links-threads-good )I don't know if Greatschools had some kind of "counter" that showed the old Schwab Archives were seldom being looked at, but they subsequently stopped supporting the Archives all together and took them down.

With regards to Understood.org, I know dhfl143 was involved in getting that site started. I believe that she is one of the "Experts" who contribute articles. I did join their forum as a beta tester, but I haven't remained active over there. (Being a moderator/administrator here at Millermom's takes enough time, as I also have a "paying job" and have had many eldercare responsibilities within my family...)

I'm not sure exactly what you envision when you talk about a "live archive." In its current format, new discussions always appear near the top of Millermom's boards, and people can browse through ALL files, old and new, for topics that interest them. People can look (aka, "lurk") even without becoming a Millermom member, but they are required to join if they want to post. For example, I just checked the statistics, and it said, "Users Online in the Last 24 Hours: 2 Staff, 1 Member, 312 Guests." So, the good news is that Millermom's Forum is still being viewed by quite a number of non-member guests. Unfortunately, few of them are joining, and even fewer are bothering to post. (I'm not sure if these statistics are "typical" because it's close to Christmas and schools/parents may be on winter vacation.)

When questions are posted on Millermom's site, I have often answered and tried to help direct people to past discussions that address their issues, and in doing so, it also lets them know they aren't the only ones who have a particular problem. Maybe we should always include this link: millermom.proboards.com/thread/4482/features-millermoms to remind members of the various features that Millermom's has.

Still, if there was one thing I wish WAS improved on Millermom's it's the Search function. It's not "user friendly," but we can't change it because it's controlled by Proboards, which "hosts" for our forum. For the benefit of anyone who might be reading this discussion, here are "detailed directions" I gave to someone trying to search for past conversations on the topic of Diagnosing Dyslexia:
If you go to the top of this page, beneath the header that says "Learning Disabilities (LDs), ADHD and Education Support, The*SAFE*Site," you'll see a "menu bar" that begins with the word "Home," and next to that is "Help," and then "Search," followed by a few more words. Click on "Search" and you'll be taken to a page where you can enter more specific information. It's not the easiest search tool, but in the section titled "What to Search," on the line that says "with all the words" type in "Diagnose Dyslexia" ~ You can then go to the section titled "Where to Search" and if you click on the white line that says "in the board" you'll get another pop-up menu where you can check the box next to "Education, Special Ed & Advocacy for All LDs" then click "Done" in the lower right corner to close that pop-up menu, and finally click "Search" in the bottom right corner of the screen. If that's too confusing, just start reading past forum posts with Dyslexia in their title, and you're sure to get a wealth of information.

I hope this helps!