LD NOS/SLD confusion

[chocolatte]

I had an IEP in school under specific learning disability a long time ago as a child. There is no information on my papers that I have dyslexia or any other LD. Every symptom I looked up fits into one disability and nothing more. According to my results back then, my skills were, and still continue to be all over the place. For my verbal reasoning index, I had an Average range of 96. When it came to the nonverbal reasoning index, it sounds pretty shitty. Like borderline range shitty. ( PRI: 71)


 How am I supposed to know what's really hidden behind my difficulties with perceptual reasoning, short term memory, and processing speed?

The person assigned for my evaluation at the time wasn't even able to easily summarize my cognitive ability.
All they did was give me accommodations for three subjects.


Although I was an average kid in elementary, my experience got better as I became an A-B student in high school. However, I barely got myself through college. hell, I didn't even do well testing into it. They gave me remedial courses. This gap in performance intrigued me. Was the work I did before graduating too easy? Or heavily modified just to make it seem that way? After a while, attending the classes just kept getting harder and harder through the demands of professors. I always got by with what my brain absorbed and then understood the most out of the lessons. This was my strategy previously used in high school. Funny thing is, I didn't know the reason why I was placed in special ed until searching for my school records just to fill out an application for a job as a cashier. (Which I didn't get)

Anyway, this ghost label honestly doesn't make me feel any better.
I have been trying to understand it..but how can I when there's not really enough for me to work with?

[healthy11]

Chocolatte, welcome to our forum. With each passing year, doctors and researchers continue to study and learn more about so many different issues, including mental health and educational difficulties. Unfortunately, even the professionals who approve the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual) don't always agree on what symptoms and conditions should be recognized and included in each revision. www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/dsm/dsm-5

I'm not sure how old you are now, but my son is in his 20's. Comparing the testing he was given when he was in first grade to testing done when he was in high school, along with seeing more of how he managed both in school and at home, helped us to clarify what his issues were. He wasn't "diagnosed" with a single test. In general, the younger a child is when testing is done, the less "reliable" the results tend to be. (For example, a child who is tested in 1st grade may not be reading, but they generally aren't expected to be reading well at that age. A child who is not reading in 3rd or 4th grade is much more likely to be diagnosed with a reading disability. If there are delays in several areas compared to peers, then instead of identifying a specific problem, they might say "LD NOS" or Learning Disorder- Not Otherwise Specified. www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/getting-started/what-you-need-to-know/learning-disorder-not-otherwise-specified-what-you-need-to-know

Are your parents still around, such that you might ask them more about what they remember of your school days, and what they see as your weaknesses, as well as your strengths? In many ways, it doesn't matter as much what kind of label you had as a child, or even what "formal diagnosis" you had or have (you could always have additional private testing done now, if you want) but as an adult, it's more important to be able to identify what your strengths and interests are. Those are the abilities that you should try to develop and use, to compensate for weaker areas. In all likelihood, you're going to be happier working in a job where you can use your strengths, than trying to get by in a job that's always a struggle. (For example, my son is dyslexic and reading/writing is very challenging for him, but he enjoyed math and science in school, so he decided to become an engineer.)

You mentioned that you did get through college ~ it may not have been easy, but you obviously have persistence, and that's a positive quality. What did you major in? You seem to have good writing ability, so that's another strength. Again, at this stage, I'd focus more on the things you CAN do, and look ahead, rather than to labels of the past.

[eoffg]

Hi Chocolatte,
Behind Verbal Reasoning and Non-Verbal Reasoning, are our 3 types of 'cognitive thinking'?
Which are Auditory, Spacial and Visual.

So that a Verbal Reasoning test, is basically a test of Auditory thinking and processing words.
Which also uses Visual thinking, as we associate images with words. As well as read words.

Then with a Non-Verbal Reasoning test, this is basically a test of Spacial and Visual thinking and processing.
The confusion with this test, is that it doesn't clarify whether the difficulty is with Spacial or Visual thinking?
Or possibly both.
Though with a high Verbal Reasoning index, this indicates that their isn't Visual thinking issue.
Rather that their are some difficulties with Spacial thinking and processing.

You wrote that you are trying to understand 'it'?
Where 'it' is most likely some difficulties with Spacial processing?
Perhaps you write a bit about any difficulties that you have noticed?
Which could then be looked at in terms of Spacial processing?

[chocolatte]

Thank you for the responses. ^_^ Oh, my parents? I could recall long ago that I sorta annoyed my father when he tried to help with my homework. It wasn't very pleasant listening to him yell if I kept getting a math question wrong...He left before I got diagnosed. Although the departure of my father took the pressure off me, he doesn't feel nor understand that I'm learning disabled. Since I'm not good at organizing my thoughts in the company of people I don't really know well enough, it was difficult telling him in my words without those papers acting as my guide.

Ironically,  one time he informed an employee at the market that "I'm sorta slow." as some sort of a joke..

Anyway, a year or so around the time I stopped going to college, my mother kept teasing me whenever I got something wrong. She said "Didn't you go to college?" and would sometimes scold me in front of our land lord. It was embarrassing.. at least he didn't join in the 'fun.'

To be honest, I don't think my mother gave the IEP services much thought. She just consented to putting me in special education courses. Working full time sounded more important than investing in your own child's future. At times I feel sorta bad for not listening to her when it comes to going back to school. But actually, my motivation to try again isn't so great anymore either. The only time I can have an unlimited amount of tries is when I'm studying Japanese.

Nowadays the pressure of other people's expectations placed on young adults around my age sorta suffocates me. Sometimes it feels like if I talk or say/do nothing, it wouldn't mean anything good. : c

I wish I was born as a rabbit. lol
It just feels like god wasted his time creating me in the body of a human..

[healthy11]

chocolatte, can I ask your age? You mention that you feel the pressure of other people's expectations placed on young adults is sort of suffocating; I'm sure plenty of 20-somethings would agree. In most cases, I think that older people mean well, but a lot has changed (school systems, the economy, etc.) and it's hard to relate their experiences to what you're dealing with now. They may not be good at organizing their thoughts and saying things tactfully, either.

Children aren't born with "instruction manuals," so parents have to "learn as they go." What's interesting is that there have been a number of other posters on this forum, who have mentioned that after their child was identified with an LD or attention deficit, they recognized that they or their spouse had similar problems when they growing up, but they weren't diagnosed. Some parents (it seems like more fathers than mothers) go into a state of denial, and don't want to learn more about it, because it may bring back painful memories of their own struggles, or they can't admit that they aren't perfect. The thing is, NOBODY is perfect.

I obviously don't know you or your mother or father personally, but based on what you said earlier, it wouldn't surprise me if your father got yelled at by his parents when he was younger. Your mother probably also felt tension in their relationship, and may have been worried about becoming a single parent, wondering how she could pay rent and the other bills; maybe that's why she worked full time. I suspect that your mother, like many parents, trusted that school teachers were experts in educational matters, so if they recommended a particular program, she consented. (Every school district is different. I had to fight to get my son an IEP ~ in his case, the school didn't want to give him accommodations, even though he needed them.) Many parents are doing the best they can at the moment, but if they could "do it over," would change a few things. Unfortunately, none of us can go back in time, so the best thing now is to focus on what you can do going forward. If you aren't sure what you would be interested in doing, contact a community college in your area, and find out if they do "career assessment testing." (It's not a class, but would probably be offered through their guidance center or similar department.) Even www.businessinsider.com/how-to-find-out-what-youre-good-at-2016-7 gives some suggestions on how to figure out your strengths. Don't let frustrations or old "labels" define you.

(I'm curious ~ have you ever thought about working with younger children, like in a daycare or preschool? It seems like you are already sensitive to the needs of kids who learn differently, and would be patient and attentive to children. You could give them extra encouragement that they might not get at home. )

[chocolatte]

Sure, I'm 23. But my birthday is coming up soon during the fall. x3 Whenever I compare my shortcomings to my mother, she snaps at me by saying its not true. Often times there is a moment when she forgets things, which tends to overlap with mine. lol and the lady isn't really good with math and understanding things either. I'm not sure if its just plain stubbornness or the inability to comprehend information at times. Its hard asking her for help too...so I turn to my aunt at times for support.

I wish my mother was like her.
Actually, when I shown her my IEP papers, the aunt was like "Maybe I have it too."

I think the bigger picture here is that most adults living in the modern world will still stigmatize the definition of a learning disability. It took a while for the school to convince my mother that I should have been evaluated. They had to force her. Maybe my father would have went along with it without trying to put up a fight if he was the one consenting to it. Anyway, I think getting her evaluated too is out of the question, since an alarming amount of people would rather live in denial until the side effects truly wreck havoc on their lives.

Anyway, I think she stopped trying to toughen me up. I remember her saying something like, "Can you read? Are you retarded? No. Nobody is going to save you." whenever I was struggling with understanding an application. -_-

Younger children? I did entertain the idea of helping them cope and deal with the effects of their parent's divorce/separation. You know, like an advocate or counselor of some sort. It only ends up as trauma locked away in our cabinet if we don't nip it in the butt. Even helping kids feel better and to map out their own individuality sounds nice.

But..I need a bachelors for all of that. My guidance counselor from high school told me that I could only attend a college for an Associates degree. This was because I chose not to study a second language,so maybe I can find another way around it.:c

[bros]

In my state, after getting an AA or and AS, you can transfer it to a state school and have it be considered the first two years of a bachelors. High school guidance counselors aren't super smart people. They're just your average teacher who took some grad school courses. Your average teacher doesn't understand anything about learning disabilities (I'm 26 and I have a BA in Special Education. None of my fellow special education majors could name a learning disability other than dyslexia.), yeah, yeah.

If you can, see if you can go get an evaluation from a neuropsychologist. You need more up to date testing results.

If your insurance doesn't want to pay for one because they are mean, look at the state schools, their disability services departments might know where or how you can get evaluated. Mine offered an IQ test and educational assessment for $350, as long as you were okay with a school psychologist student practicing doing the test on you.

[healthy11]

chocolatte, can I ask which state you live in? In any case, I definitely agree with bros, because if you get an Associate's degree, it can "open lots of doors" to 4-year colleges, or even just to jobs that you might enjoy, without getting more schooling. For example, the community college near where I live offers both transfer programs and programs that would enable you to get immediate employment after the associate's degree: goforward.harpercollege.edu/academics/areas/education/education.php