How do children learn to regulate their emotions

[healthy11]

www.huffingtonpost.com/kenneth-barish-phd/how-do-children-learn-to-_b_3890461.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

Child therapist Kenneth Barish, Ph.D., Clinical Associate Professor of Psychology at Weill Medical College, Cornell University gives his perspective on the topic of emotional regulation, along with suggestions on how parents can help their children develop it.

[hope4all]

Thanks Healthy. Good information.

[healthy11]

Here's another parent's perspective on helping children understand and develop empathy: shine.yahoo.com/parenting/help-child-develop-empathy-151500841.html

And here's an article about how being empathetic and being able to detect sarcasm are linked: www.livescience.com/40258-empathy-predicts-sarcasm-ability-children.html

[empeg1]

Children learn to regulate their emotions through attachment to primary caregivers, so that the attachment and sense of safety from a secure attachment figures regulates the infant and very young child, at a time that the frontal cortex is developing. When a secure attachment is not present and a young child is continually overwhelmed, the development of above areas of the cortex is affected, so that difficulty with self-regulation is affected long term.

[dwolen]

Beyond attachment parenting, learning to regulate emotions is easier for some children, harder for others. I think in born temperament is a factor, and the neurocognitive wiring that the child starts with plays a big part. I believe my dd started out life with more irritability/sensitivity than many infants, though infants in general are a mass of unregulated neurons. My dd could not tolerate being outside for the first month of life, and had pitiful and intense crying when put in a stroller until she was 3 months. Fortunately, baby slings and front packs had become available and popular. This sensitivity evolved into an intense shyness as a young child, and a screaming mimi as a middle school and teenager, with a very short fuse, and oh, so easily offended. I think the emotional dysregluation was a manifestation of the executive functioning weaknesses. As a young adult, dd has found tranquility and emotional regulation via the daily practice of meditation over the last 3+ years. She started with transcendental meditation, and now mindfulness meditation. It is hard to offend her nowadays, and it is amazing to see how readily she regulates her emotions.

How I wish I had known all this when dd was a child, and about the tools for helping children with emotional regulation. I would have used every tool that is now available to help her with her EF/emotional regulation.
And, how I wish I knew about emotional regulation as a teen. I was attached to my mother in a healthy way in infancy/early childhood. My executive functions were pretty good in that I did not have trouble functioning in school/work, but my emotional regulation was apparently off, because I spiraled down into depressed moods on a regular basis from the age of 13 or so.