Seriously Considering Homeschooling...

[dihicks6]

Even though Sir Ray is beginning to read, can write, etc., it breaks my heart that he goes to school with a heavy heart most days. He says it's no fun, no time to play, etc. The other day we spent at least 30 minutes discussing early man and why we look different, the definition of evolution, what it must have been like to live then. I realized the other lessons I could give him, just on that subject. I have looked at private schools here, but the logistics outweigh the benefits. I've joined a homeschooling group online and I know our local library has a big group so will touch base with them also. I must be crazy......

[beth]

Why does he not like school?

[momfromma]

I understand your questions. It breaks my heart to see that these little ones are supposed to sit still and learn at an age when they are not able to do that for a long time. They are still kids and playing is an important part of learning at his age.

Good luck to Ray and to you...

[healthy11]

I'm forgetting...is Ray in kindergarten or 1st grade now? I remember you kept him in preschool a little longer, so he's probably one of the oldest in his class at the moment, and that's got to be adding to his frustration, especially if part of the reason he says school is no fun is because he's bored. (Just looking at it from a "math" perspective, if he's 6 and the other children are 5, he's 20% older, and at that young age, it makes a big difference in how much kids have been exposed to and already know.)

There's not much that can be done about lack of playtime in a "traditional" school setting, but I would hope he at least gets some recess/playground/gym time each day. Does he talk about any friends he's made at school? Have you invited any classmates over to play after school?

I know homeschooling has its own challenges, but if there's anyone who can do what it takes to ensure an appropriate education for children they care about, it's you! It sounds like you're already familiar with local resources (like the library homeschool group) and I'm sure you'll make a well-informed decision, no matter which way you decide to go. (Re: your son with the year-old-twins...if he sees you homeschooling Ray, is he going to expect you to do the same for all your grandchildren?)

[dihicks6]

Ray is very well liked at school -- has been invited to three birthday parties this school year, so yes, he has friends. I asked him if I was his teacher would he miss anything at school? The bus ride, his friends, especially his music teacher, etc. He looked at me and said 'nope, not one thing.' I rec'd his report card and he's doing fine, but all they talk about on the card is what is expected by the end of the year, what the state expects, blah, blah, blah. One notation on his report card says he's 'reading on grade level.' He's in K for cripes sake....

His chief complaints are 'too many papers, no time for play, it's too busy.' Given state standards, the subjects that interest him at this age are far, far from what school will be teaching. He's so curious and interested in many subjects that's it's such a shame to waste it.

Did some research on 'unschooling' homeschoolers and it sounds just like what Ray would do -- one interest would lead to another, etc. I have no illusions about what kind of time this would take on my part, but with a few memberships to museums, maybe the Y for physical stuff, the plantetarium, our summers at camp, he would learn a lot. It's very tempting!

As for my son with the twins -- I guarantee you, he would not be asking me to homeschool them -- babysit them, yes, teach, no, LOL!

[healthy11]

Dihicks, I had looked at "unschooling," but given my son's aversion to all things in print (before we knew he had ADHD & SLD's in reading & writing) it's unlikely that he would ever have "voluntarily chosen" to do those tasks on his own. Similarly, we'd looked at Montessori schools, and they also embraced a "kids will learn when they're ready" philosophy, but unfortunately it doesn't work well with kids who have LDs and avoid certain subjects if they can.
If you aren't worried about Ray having specific learning issues, then either of those options might be worth exploring. Keep us posted!

[empeg1]

I know what kind of learning can take place even with a child who has LD's when that child is able to follow a passion. My oldest dd, when she was a child, would learn best in the summer. She was fascinated by anything to do with animals and plants. One summer, at age 7, she watched intently the flight of birds to our neighbor's bird feeder. She began to draw the birds and went to our neighbors to ask the names of the birds. She then asked to go to the library; this is a kid who has major difficulties with reading and writing. At the library, I sat with her and we read together about different birds, their names, characteristics and about their habitats. I took notes per dd's instructions and we checked the books out. DD then perused the books herself. Lo' and behold, she began to build a bird habitat in the yard. She also took a carpentry class and built a bird feeder. And, on and on went the project all summer.

Ditto for her interest in newts (my youngest dd 1st word!) My oldest had newt radar. She would find them everywhere. She also went to the library to learn more about them. To UC Berkeley's Botanical Gardens to ask about newts. And, to a store that sold them, peppering the staff with questions. Then came the aquarium, inside built as a newt habitat with appropriate food for the newts, which dd also found. We ranged through out local park in the hills, standing at ponds (me) and dd almost swimming in the ponds, where newts were mating. At 5 years of age , she got bitten by a newt prompting a call to Poison Control, who told me, tell your dd they are mating right now and not in a good mood. lol When my youngest was in kindergarten, my oldest, who was now a 5th grader, came to the kindergarten class with her specimens to teach the class, which she did with a real Socratic method, prompting the teacher to ask me, how did she learn to do that? I did not teach her, but my oldest had a questioning mind and taught that way. She had a catch and release policy about her newts.

I now realize that I should have home schooled this child who was so inquisitive and creative and who died inside in the public schools. But, I am a single parent and I needed to work. I regret that I did not find a way. DD was clearly was abused in school by teachers who did not understand her disability, by a way of teaching that was an absolute mismatch for her learning, and by humiliation and failure and blame.

[jisp]

dhicks,
I might be able to give you some insight into this because I started off wanting to homeschool/unschool my kids. I had read John Holt and my own memories school struggle combined with the fact that both DH and I are people who like to learn had me determined to keep learning alive and exciting for my kids. I was fortunate that we initially found schools that took a child centered holistic approach to learning. And for the most part my kids loved school and were happy....

UNTIL reading and writing came into the picture. Then as their peers started to surpass them, they started to get dispirited. I realized that structure and school were not necessarily evil and could help my kids in areas that I knew I was personally weak. The self-learning and stimulation we provided at home continued but my three kids actually benefitted from learning how to learn. More structured school environments with good teachers and appropriate remediation seemed to solve the problem.

UNTIL the homework load in school combined with the remediation they needed sucked all their time from them and triggered adolescent depression and mood issues. My middle one ended up spending more time out of school then in school between 8th and 12th grade. But that was not always his choice or ours. Our son desperately wanted to be in school and learning. We talked about homeschooling, which in way we were doing by default because when he was home this was a child who was so inquisitive he made us teach him and he found ways to learn. But our psychiatrist was adamant that socially our son needed to be in school and warned us that our son had a tendency to want to retreat from social interactions and that giving in to that was not good for him in the long run. So as painful as it was we fought and struggled to get school to work. One thing we noticed because our son was home so much was that his struggles with learning were not necessarily "school" related. Our son asked that we teach him certain subjects, subjects we knew he would have an aptitude with. But we eventually came up against some of the same frustrations his teachers must of been facing. That observation was what allowed us to get our son targeted help from a cognitive psychologist. Eventually we were able to get him back and into an environment that worked for him but it took time. Today he is a thriving college Junior.

With my youngest I knew that trying to work with the school to both remediate my son's subtle LDs and modify the curriculum would involve time and money and be stressful on all of us. So we decided to take the time and the money and give our son a year of homeschooling. He was social enough and had enough neighborhood friends that we were not concerned about him socially. The music he did he could continue to do as that was after school. So I took the money I would have had to put towards an advocate or lawyer and spent it instead on a tutor that worked with our son on writing. And I took over teaching our son math. That year we worked to overcome some of the things that were making school difficult for our son. But by the end of the year our son (as any 15 year old would be) was fed up with mom and dad and eager to return. He returned to the local public HS determined to make it work. And he did. During that BORING year off our son decided to start playing upright Bass. He was interested in classical and jazz. And because he was soooooo bored he had plenty of time to practice. You see math and writing work from me and his tutor hardly took any time at all, but his friends were still in school until 3. So our son had lots of free time. All that practice got him over the beginners hump with learning an instrument and also positioned him to take over the lead Jazz Bass position at our HS. One thing led to another and now that child is attending a prestigious conservatory and happy as can be.

[dihicks6]

Thanks for all your input! Who knew there was so much involved in homeschooling? I'm pretty certain that Sir Ray does not have an LD in reading or writing, however, there's a bit of sensitivity and sensory issues. Nothing that comes close to preventing him from going to school (thank goodness), but he can be pretty sensitive to what other kids say/do.

I'm still researching and reading but the obvious benefit is that I can teach him things he's interested in, after reading and writing. There are some marvelous groups out there and a gazillion outside activities for homeschooled kids. I'll keep you posted .

[dihicks6]

I will be homeschooling in the fall. I have done lots of research and if I can manage my desire to not be organized, I think we will be okay, LOL! Going to try at least for this upcoming school year. I have joined a homeschooling organization that offers coop classes for 8 weeks in fall and spring, lots of field trips and assistance. Who knew there were so many homeschooling families? Also discovered that if you homeschool in the early elementary grades, no formal evals are necessary until the end of 5th grade. Lots of HS parents do, however, evaluate their kids every year, but don't send in the results to the district. Now to decide what curriculum......

[healthy11]

"... if you homeschool in the early elementary grades, no formal evals are necessary until the end of 5th grade."

Dihicks, do you mean no achievement test evaluations are required to be sent to the school district? (I'm so used to hearing about "psych evals" or evals for LDs, that I just wanted to be sure!)

[dihicks6]

Yup, no achievement tests. Most HS families use the California Achievement test in elementary grades. They order them, and administer them. Depends on the state. Each state has different HS regs.

[healthy11]

Di, you said, "Most HS families..."

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I have a feeling things may get more confusing as time goes on ~ People often think of HS as "High School" rather than "Homeschool," so even though it's a few more typing keystrokes, it might be best to spell it out!

[dihicks6]

Well, wish me luck! We start next week. I don't feel particularly prepared, but from what other homeschooling parents tell me, that's normal, LOL! I have 1-3 on-line curriculums, workbooks, signed up for homeschooling coop classes for math and science, and also signed up for a different homeschooling coop for a gym class. I cannot believe the number of people that homeschool and how resourceful they are! We are also signed up for at least 5 field trips -- airport tour, public market tour,harvest tour of a farm, and apple-picking. We'll see where we go after a couple of months! I'll keep ya posted!

[dihicks6]

P.S. With the amount of questions I have to answer while driving in the car, I simply CANNOT imagine how many there will be with homeschooling, HA HA!

[Mayleng]

Goodluck

[michellea]

Good luck!! I remember when DS hated Kindergarten. He told me that the day was so loooong. He recently (at age 16) brought it up again and said how much he disliked his teacher, the constant routine. Although he struggled in first and second at the public school, he loved his teacher and did not remember hating it quite so much.

Isn't it a shame that kindergarten has changed so much? When bright, social enthusiastic children are turned off from school from the start, I would say there is a problem.

I am sure that you will do just fine with homeschooling, Dihicks. Sir Ray seems to be a joy. Think of all you will discover together!! (I do know what you mean about the constant car talking and questions. This is exactly how DS was and still is when he decides to communicate. I remember saying, "No more questions" Now I say, enough of the hypotheticals). Keep us posted.

[dihicks6]

Thanks! Yup, last night's topic of conversation on the way home was asphalt. Why do they put the stones and oil on the road? What happens when the cars run over it? What are the strange black squiggly marks in the road, are they skid marks? and my personal favorite -- why is asphalt black?

[dwolen]

I feel excited for you! When my dd was pre-school age, we attended a play group of homeschoolers.Each parent child pair volunteered to do some educational learning or arts and crafts activity each week.It was really fun and I the parents are really interested in their children's learning. Some of the kids were incredibly shy and one was publically mute until he turned five. Suddenly, he started talking! My dd really liked participating in this low key group and working with me to develop our learning projects.

[healthy11]

dihicks, Ray's inquiries about asphalt reminded me of a trip my son and I made to a major shopping mall when he was about age 7 or so...we went there to get one thing, and ended up spending over 2 hours watching a repair man fixing an escalator. The guy said he'd had people stop for a few minutes, but never had he been observed for such an extended time by a kid, who was so curious about everything he was doing..."What's that for? What's that do?" were common questions when my son was growing up. (In Ray's case, maybe you have a future civil engineer in the family!)