I've been given an assignment by DD's teacher

[sharie001]

DD's teacher sent a sealed envelope (b/c it's supposed to be a surprise for our kids) a request to write a letter to our kids giving them college advice. She said to pretend they were going off to college in the morning and to give the advice we would like them to have. She entitled it " a final dose of departing words of wisdom".

I know the teacher and she would get a kick out of some of the things listed below. I was just wondering if any of ya'll may have other ideas of things to add?

Dear Daughter,

I know I’m old, dumb, and don’t know anything compared to you teens, but I’m going to offer some advice for college anyway.

1. Test out of as many of your required classes as possible. This will make it go by faster for you and be less expensive for everyone.

2. Make friends with the campus and local police (it wouldn’t hurt to date one, or work in the office of a police dept.)

3. Research professors before signing up for their class. Professors vary greatly, and it could make a difference in your grades. Try to get in small classes with English speaking professors as much as possible.

4. Do not go to parties where there are teens under age 18. It could result in you being charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor/juvenile.

5. Do not drink and drive or ride with anyone who has been drinking.

6. Always wear your seatbelt, and make those riding with you wear their seatbelt as well.

7. Try not to speed, no matter how temping it is to put the petal to the metal, because;
a.) it could result in an accident
b.) it could result in a ticket which would result in high auto insurance (see # 2)
c.) you should never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly

8. Do not ride around after midnight (especially with other teens in car with you), nothing good happens after midnight. Sometimes entertaining things happen after midnight but it usually is not good. If you are doing this you might as well have a neon sign on your car that says “Hey Mr. Police Officer, please pull me over and give me a ticket”.

9. Do not leave your undergarments on the bathroom floor, your roommates/dorm mates or guest may not appreciate it.

10. You need to learn how to proficiently open cans, with various types of can openers (incase you lose the hand operated one you plan on taking from home), this may come in handy when you get hungry and mom and maw-maw aren’t around to feed the baby.

11. Wash your hands often to prevent getting sick, and germs that I don’t even want to describe.

12. Do not sit on toilet seats, especially those in public places, if you must sit, put some tp on the toilet first.

13. Do not trust anyone who says “Trust me”

14. Do not do anything just because so-in-so is doing it or pressuring you into doing it.

15. I personally don’t have a problem with tattoos, but people with lots of tattoos showing are often prejudged by others. Think long and hard before you get one if you must get one, remember what may be cool now may not be latter on, and you may get a happy face now and when age and gravity take hold of you it may end up a sad face. If you have to get one at least do like your brother (his “Coon Ass” tattoo on his butt) and get one that can easily be concealed without long pants and long sleeves.

16. Pick your roommates or dorm mates carefully.

17. I am not naïve enough to believe you will avoid all/any partying at college, that being said;
A) Please make sure you don’t do it on a school night
B) Please don’t waste your one phone call if you get arrested calling me
C) If you go out drinking, have a true designated driver FIRST, and make sure you eat something (peanut butter (Reeses) and milk do a great job of coating your stomach before drinking)
D) Don’t over-do it, and if you do then take some Tylenol the night before and drink lots of water so you don’t wake up with cotton mouth and a hangover
E) When shot-gunning beer, etc. poke a hole in the bottom of the can (hold your finger over that hole), then place your mouth over the hole, next pop the top on the can (it makes it go faster that way, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people screw this up, if your going to do something, do it right). Just kidding, I don’t recommend doing this one (1. it’s messy and 2. you don’t get to enjoy your buzz, because you’ll get wasted too fast, lol)

18. Do not loan or borrow money, it can turn friends into enemies fast.

19. Definitely don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do!

20. Do not worry about what your peers are doing that you are not, nor what they say/think about you, be the independent thinker you have always been, don’t allow others to influence/dictate who you are.

21. Try not to fall asleep with an ink pen nearby (especially a permanent one).

22. Treat others how you would like to be treated, not how they treat or have treated you. Everyone is entitled to a bad day.

23. Remember first impressions count, so do your best to make a good first impression.

24. Do not dwell on the past, live life to it’s fullest, and appreciate the little things each day.

25. Do not correct your professors, especially in front of others.

[empeg1]

Sharie:
I noticed that most of your comments started with a don't. I know you want your precious dd to be safe.
However, college is time of exploration, of meeting new people, of trying on new "selves", of trying that class you do not have to take but which sounds oh so interesting. It is a time of expanding oneself, intellectually, personally, in beliefs, friends, values. I would want to write to my dd to tell her to explore, to be curious, to meet new people, of all kinds, to make strong friends who will last her lifetime, to find out what is most important to her, to follow her heart and mind. I would want to add, be serious, learn and have fun. Have experiences you will never forget. Be safe.

[kjgdid]

Sharie just one more thing on the do list.
Always make sure he uses a uses a condom no matter what he says about how much he loves you.

[stitchdad]

*** 21. Try not to fall asleep with an ink pen nearby (especially a permanent one).


I did that during one of those famous all night study sessions before finals. My friends used a Sharpie and drew stars on all my toes. No sandals for me!

lol your list is bringing back memories!

[michellea]

Thanks, Shari - I'll add yours to my list. Here's what I've told DD

1. Never leave a party without your designated friend, and don't leave her at the party alone - even if you are drunk out of your mind and you have connected with the guy you've had a crush on forever. Watch out for your girlfriends.
2. Never leave or put your glass down. If you do, dump it out.
3. ALWAYS wash your face - I don't care how tired or "out of it" you are. You don't want your eye lashes to fall out or to get zits.
4. ALWAYS use a condom. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAY. Period. Any guy that doesn't like the way it feels or that can't wait is too selfish and short sighted.
5. Take a few interesting classes - even if you think it might hurt your GPA. Now is the time to learn about new things and test new waters.

Stitchdad - ahhhh. passed out friends and sharpies. Very tempting. (nail polish on guys is also tempting........)

[sharie001]

stitchdad,
I wasn't even thinking along those lines, lol. I was thinking about the time my (in 4th grade) slept with perm marker and ended up with a perfect bulls eye on his butt. That does remind of one I need to add though, never pass out on the beach at spring break, because 1. you WILL get burnt and 2. someone could write something on you in 50 spf that will be on you longer than a sharpie.

Michellea,
I'll have to add those too, lol. They are good ones.

[wimom]

1. Always wear sunscreen. You may not think you need it now, but in 20 years you will wish you had.

2. Never cancel on a girl friend just to be with a guy. Your girlfriends will be there long after some random guy, and if he isn't flexable enough or imaginative enough to come up with another plan did you really want to be with him?

[sharie001]

goods ones wimom

[hope4all]

sharie this is funny.

When in the shower, do not leave your clothes to close to the door. Someone will take them!!!!

What about penning someone in their room? I never got that trick to work. However heard stories of others who did.

[michellea]

Hope - yeah - the clothes by the shower one is important. Don't want to be running around in the buff only to find your undies hung out for all to see....

[sharie001]

michellea,

That is why I don't wear underwear, lol, just kidding.

Maybe put your clothes in a waterproof bag and tie a string/rope to bag and wrap the other around your wrist or foot while showering, lol.

[healthy11]

Sharie, when will your daughter actually "get" your letter? At graduation? I look forward to hearing her reaction!

[sharie001]

I was supposed to give it to her in a sealed envelope to return to her ap/honors English teacher this past Friday (it was an English assignment/project they were comparing, etc. to some shakespearian advice I think given to a son leaving to go out on his own).

I gave it to my daughter on Thursday, but Friday was a "snow day" (imagine that, in LA) therefore we didn't have school. This week is a holiday (no school for Mardi Gras) so I guess it's due next Monday. Hmmn...., I have time to add more to it, lol.

This was my final draft I gave her last Thur., but I may revise it further if I think of anymore good things to add or get some more good suggestions. My daughter is nervous (she says afraid) of what is in the letter, I wonder why. I think they are supposed to read them aloud in class, the kids and the teacher should love this letter, lol.





February 12th, 2010

RE: College Advice, a final dose of departing words of wisdom


Dear Daughter,

I know I’m old, dumb, and don’t know anything compared to you teens, but I’m going to offer some advice for college anyway. Your father and I want you to be safe, have fun, and do well in college.

1. Test out of as many of your required classes as possible. This will make it go by faster for you and be less expensive for everyone.
2. Make friends with the campus and local police (it wouldn’t hurt to date one, or work in the office of a police dept.)
3. Research professors before signing up for their class. Professors vary greatly, and it could make a difference in your grades. Try to get in small classes with English speaking professors as much as possible.
4. Do not go to parties where there are teens under age 18. It could result in you being charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor/juvenile.
5. Do not drink and drive or ride with anyone who has been drinking.
6. Always wear your seatbelt, and make those riding with you wear their seatbelt as well.
7. Try not to speed, no matter how temping it is to put the petal to the metal, because; a.) it could result in an accident b.) it could result in a ticket which would result in high auto insurance (see # 2) c.) you should never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly
8. Do not ride around after midnight (especially with other teens in car with you), nothing good happens after midnight. Sometimes entertaining things happen after midnight but it usually is not good. If you are doing this you might as well have a neon sign on your car that says “Hey Mr. Police Officer, please pull me over and give me a ticket”.
9. Do not leave your undergarments on the bathroom floor, your roommates/dorm mates or guest may not appreciate it.
10. You need to learn how to proficiently open cans, with various types of can openers (incase you lose the hand operated one you plan on taking from home), this may come in handy when you get hungry and mom and maw-maw aren’t around to feed the baby.
11. Wash your hands often to prevent getting sick, and germs that I don’t even want to describe.
12. Do not sit on toilet seats, especially those in public places, if you must sit, put some tp on the toilet first.
13. Do not trust anyone who says “Trust me”
14. Do not do anything just because so-in-so is doing it or pressuring you into doing it.
15. I personally don’t have a problem with tattoos, but people with lots of tattoos showing are often prejudged by others. Think long and hard before you get one if you must get one, remember what may be cool now may not be latter on, and you may get a happy face now and when age and gravity take hold of you it may end up a sad face. If you have to get one at least do like your brother (his “Coon Ass” tattoo on his butt) and get one that can easily be concealed without long pants and long sleeves.
16. Pick your roommates or dorm mates carefully.
17. I am not naïve enough to believe you will avoid all/any partying at college, that being said;
A) Please make sure you don’t do it on a school night
B) Please don’t waste your one phone call if you get arrested calling me
C) If you go out drinking, have a true designated driver FIRST, and make sure you eat something (peanut butter (Reeses) and milk do a great job of coating your stomach before drinking)
D) Don’t over-do it, and if you do then take some Tylenol the night before and drink lots of water so you don’t wake up with cotton mouth and a hangover
E) When shot-gunning beer, etc. poke a hole in the bottom of the can (hold your finger over that hole), then place your mouth over the hole, next pop the top on the can (it makes it go faster that way, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people screw this up, if your going to do something, do it right). Just kidding, I don’t recommend doing this one (1. it’s messy and 2. you don’t get to enjoy your buzz, because you’ll get wasted too fast, lol)
18. Do not loan or borrow money, it can turn friends into enemies fast.
19. Definitely don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do!
20. Do not worry about what your peers are doing that you are not, nor what they say/think about you, be the
independent thinker you have always been, don’t allow others to influence/dictate who you are.
21. Try not to fall asleep with an ink pen nearby (especially a permanent one).
22. Treat others how you would like to be treated, not how they treat or have treated you. Everyone is
entitled to a bad day.
23. Remember first impressions count, so do your best to make a good first impression.
24. Do not dwell on the past, live life to it’s fullest, and appreciate the little things each day.
25. Do not correct your professors, especially in front of others.
26. Never leave a party without your designated friend, and don't leave her at the party alone - even if
you are drunk out of your mind and you have connected with the guy you've had a crush on
forever. Watch out for your girlfriends.
27. Never leave or put your glass down. If you do, dump it out.
28. ALWAYS use a condom. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAY. Period. Any guy that doesn't like the way it feels
or that can't wait is too selfish and short sighted
29. Never pass out on the beach at spring break, because 1. you WILL get burnt and 2. someone could
write something on you in 50 spf that will be on you longer than a sharpie.
30. Always wear sunscreen. You may not think you need it now, but in 20 years you will wish you had.
31. Never cancel on a girl friend just to be with a guy. Your girlfriends will be there long after some
random guy, and if he isn't flexible enough or imaginative enough to come up with another plan
did you really want to be with him?
32. Don’t take pictures of you engaging in something incriminating, more particularly do not post those
pictures online, that is called “evidence” in a criminal trial.
33. Do not walk around campus, etc., alone after dark, that is when the boogieman comes out.
34. Always look around and in your car (back seat, etc.) before you get in your car, if someone is
hanging around outside your car then wait to get in your car.
35. Call your parents occasionally for no reason at all, not just when you want something from us,
especially your father, or he may think you don’t need us anymore (financially or otherwise), and
your expense account with dad my be affected as a result.
36. Don’t talk to strangers.
37. Look both ways before crossing the street.

I love you very much.

Sincerely,



Sharie Lam (aka Mom)

[michellea]

You get an A+ !

[sharie001]

I thought of a couple more to add:

38. If you want to reduce your amount of laundry to be washed, sleep in the nude (no sleepwear to wash), just kidding, that may be a bad idea, especially in a dorm. Never wash towels with sweaters (you'll never get all those fuzz balls off the sweater).

39. Never ASSUME anything, always ask to be sure. When you ASSuME you make an ASS out of U and ME.

40. Study for your test way in advance, you may have gotten away with not studying much in high school, especially with all those extra assignments to boost your grades if you didn't do well on a test, but it probably won't work in college because you won't have all those little grades to boost your overall grades. You will probably have mostly test grades for the majority of your classes.

[healthy11]

Sharie, from your family photos that used to be on Greatschools, I don't think you or your daughter have to worry about this, but you might want to add something about Beware of the "Freshman 15," (weight gain) and recognize the benefits of exercise and heathy eating...Pizza, soda/beer, and chips do not constitute the basic food groups.

[sharie001]

Thanks Healthy, I know we have discussed the "freshman 15", but it wouldn't hurt to add it to the list of advice as a reminder.

[hope4all]

sharie your daughter will love this.

oh order the material you need for research papers early. This way you won`t be driving from library to library the night before the paper is due trying to find your materials. Then all you need to do the night before the paper is due is stay in your dorm and write your paper.lol This will also reduce tickets, difficult to explain accidents, and keep you and others safe. lol Your going to be a freshman so I won`t even suggest doing the paper early.

[shawbridge]

This is fabulous.

My one additional piece of advice is not so humorous or catchy, but is valuable addendum. Focused effort leads to good results. My good friend (now a tenured Harvard professor) was studying incredibly hard for his general exams in grad school. My girlfriend at the time asked him, "You always do so well on exams. Why do you study so hard?" He said, "You've got cause and effect wrong. I do so well because I study so hard."

I'd also add, "Don't drink (anything or much) if you are with a guy you don't know well."

and

Know exactly how much alcohol will make you drunk. [At my daughter's school, they measured out for each kid the amount of hard liquor and beer that would get them to the legal limit for driving. My tall skinny daughter was shocked that it was an extremely small amount.]

[jisp]

I am coming late to this but I am surprised nobody suggested anything to do with $$$. In my case (and the case of my daughter) this is a big issue. Learn how to budget. Learn how deal with banks. Learn how to manage your money. Learn how to save. Learn about credit and interest and loans and all that other yucky stuff. It might even be helpful to take an accounting course. Discomfort with money and managing money is a big problem for many kids and it can really get in their way later on in life depending on what they want to do.

[hope4all]

Good one jisp!!!!

[sharie001]

shawbridge & jisp, those are good ones to add.

FYI, home/auto breathalizers (testing for alchol levels) are available to public for sale, I think I've even seen them under $30., probably a good thing for college kids to have.

[healthy11]

I don't think most kids can LEARN to handle their finances as they head to college, if they haven't had input from their parents beforehand. Saying, "Live within your financial means" is one thing, but saying "Learn how to budget, deal with banks, $$, etc." shouldn't first be mentioned in a "going off to college" letter. This is NOT something that taking an accounting class in college is likely to teach, it's something that parents need to explain before their kids leave home.

In my area, high schools have all students take a basic "Money Management" kind of class, where they practice filling out a checkbook, and completing a basic 1040EZ tax form, etc. Even though my son took that course, it wasn't the same as my going to the bank with him, having him open a real checking account, using an ATM, applying for and using a credit card responsibly, writing the monthly checks for bill payment, etc. He still doesn't fill out his own IRS forms, or FAFSA, but we haven't asked him to do those....

FYI, with the new Credit card laws that just went into effect this month, my understanding is that students under age 21 will no longer be able to get their own individual credit cards without a co-signer, or proof of income and ability to pay off their cards themselves.

[healthy11]

While searching for something in the old Schwabarchives, I stumbled across another wonderful list from Denali:
millermom.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=college&thread=10189

[sharie001]

Update:

She read it in front of the class (or at least most of it), and they loved it, lol.

[michellea]

I wish I could have been there. I just re-read it and love it as much as the first time. In fact, I may plagerize, if it is ok with you!!

[sharie001]

michellea,

LOL, you are welcome to use it.

[healthy11]

I was looking through some old posts to share some information with a new Millermom member, when I stumbled across this one...it's not what I was originally looking for, but I thought it would be good to "bump" this, too!