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Post by swmom on Oct 24, 2007 15:13:47 GMT -5
Any thoughts? Where we live, the middleschoolers still dress up and trick or treat. It's still very big. My problem is the costume. Dd is having trouble thinking of a "cool" one. So am I. Everything seems "too young" for the kids this age. Dd suggested going goth. I really HATE goth and think it sends the wrong message, especially here where everything is so conservative, so I said no to that. But -
any ideas? What do the middleschoolers wear? Or do they wear costumes at all? Dd was invited to a Halloween party at the Queen Bee's. It's important that she choose a good one, she says. Help!
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Post by Mayleng on Oct 24, 2007 15:22:26 GMT -5
How about Disco Era - Afro and Bell bottoms etc.
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Post by jw on Oct 24, 2007 16:30:21 GMT -5
Hi! My nieces have gone to school dances with fun costume themes lately - one was a sports theme, and the girls dressed up like referees, etc., and the other one was 80's theme. The dances are middle school and high school. Another dance had a jungle theme.... Good luck, jw
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Post by d on Oct 24, 2007 21:34:05 GMT -5
Any thoughts? Where we live, the middleschoolers still dress up and trick or treat. It's still very big. My problem is the costume. Dd is having trouble thinking of a "cool" one. So am I. Everything seems "too young" for the kids this age. Dd suggested going goth. I really HATE goth and think it sends the wrong message, especially here where everything is so conservative, so I said no to that. But - any ideas? What do the middleschoolers wear? Or do they wear costumes at all? Dd was invited to a Halloween party at the Queen Bee's. It's important that she choose a good one, she says. Help! My dd did a very fashionable witch in 6th or 7th. She had a long black dress, fashionable cut witch costume and I got inexpensive knee high black boots from Payless. She had a witch hat from her aunt - a great tall hat with black maribou. Striped tights - black & lime green. Anyway, very fashionable witch. She looked great - very girly but not <cough> inappropriate at all. |
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Post by LurkNoMore on Oct 25, 2007 10:43:07 GMT -5
My daughter is 15 (almost 16)...she did the fashionable witch costume last year (but with a black skirt and shirt that she already had )....all we had to buy was the colored tights (her's were orange and black). I think I got them at the drugstore for under $3.
Another easy costume is a butterfly. You can usually find the wings pretty cheap at Party City. She wore black jeans & a black turtleneck with the wings and put on some glittery makeup.
I hope she has fun!
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Post by swmom on Oct 27, 2007 9:28:32 GMT -5
Where can you buy those cute striped leggings or stockings for a witches costume? Anyone know?
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Post by d on Oct 27, 2007 9:31:07 GMT -5
Costume stores definitely, some mass drug and big box stores like Target, and definitely ebay.
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Post by swmom on Oct 28, 2007 4:58:26 GMT -5
Well, the party has come and gone. Dd went as a witch. She had black pants, black long sleeve shirt, a witch's hat, a long black wig with purple streaks, and she painted her lips black.
She did not have a good time, unfortunately. She went with a girl who has been her closest friend this year but the two of them spent most of the 3-hour party just sitting on the sofa not really interacting with anyone. It was dd's first real boy-girl party where everyone was dancing. Apparently, she was sort of freaked out by that, just didn't know how to dance and didn't really know how to just jump up and try it. Her friend didn't either so they just sat on the sofa and watched. Dd said the kids were dancing "some kind of routine" to Soldier Boy? Does anyone know what this is? She said most of the kids knew how to dance it but she didn't and neither did her friend. She also said the most of the songs they danced to were rap and had offensive language like "humping," etc. And some of the dancing was sort of "sexual." Does this sound typical of the dances these days? I'm so old fashioned. Dd said her best moment of the night was when it was time to leave. Oh my. I hope all the parties don't go this way!
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Post by TerryB on Oct 28, 2007 8:17:02 GMT -5
swmom,
Your daughter sounds so much like mine. She's only 11 though. She went to her first dance this past weekend. She didn't know how to dance so she ended up watching others and talking with a few friends. She is offended by some of the songs but she has learned not to comment because it would not be cool. I told her that maybe the kids just really like the sound of the music and aren't really thinking about the words. She also said that an 8th grade couple was dancing in a way that was like having intercourse through your clothing. The girl was constantly rubbing her butt against the guys pubic area. I asked her if her and her friends got a good laugh but she said no one said a word. I haven't figured out how to interpret all this but I'm hoping that the kids were a little too shocked to comment. This was a mainstream dance put on by the YMCA to raise money for their programs.
Two nights ago, dd's Girl Scout Troop had a dance to raise money for the local food pantry. Again, I was shocked that they played songs like "My Humps" and even worse. The troop leader never said "no" to any of the songs. These were mostly 10 and 11 year old girls out there dancing like "Fergie". I'm feeling very old, but when I was growing up, if you danced in a promiscuous way, you were assumed to be asking for that kind of attention from boys. What I'm being told now by other mothers is that it is just teasing the boys and everyone knows that the girls aren't going to follow-through on what they are suggesting with their bodies. It's all about power over boys.
Well, there is no way I'm going to condone sexy clothing or dancing on the part of my girls. There are plenty of styles that aren't revealing. They also can listen to the stations that their friends listen to but I expect them to change the station when an offensive song comes up. I'm also expecting them to be tolerant and even empathetic of other girls that just go along with the masses and engage in this promiscuous atmosphere. I'm hoping that when the first girl gets pregnant and the grades start dropping, it will become more apparent to my dd that our choices are the best choices for a successful life. dd has one friend that also finds all this shocking and offensive and I hope that she finds more girls in middle school that have similar values.
So, back to the main point swmom, dd finds dances somewhat boring and definitely shocking. I can't see her going to many dances in the future. I will take her if she wants to but it is more of a cultural lesson than an enjoyable engagement. It's good for her to at least be aware of her American culture. If anyone can help me understand these trends in our culture, please help me and my dd out. I don't see much positive in it at all and I don't like feeling so discouraged about young people.
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Post by Mayleng on Oct 28, 2007 9:07:34 GMT -5
Well some boys are uncomfortable with the things that happen at parties and dances (even thosed organized by the girls and Boys club) - my son (freshman this year) has always avoided dances and parties since 7th grade because of the way they dance. He listens to all the rap songs etc, heck! I do too, but he draws the line at being so physically promiscuous, and he is a boy! Even though I allow him to go to these parties etc, he has always used me as an excuse with his friends "not to go". I gave him full permission to say that his mom won't let him go. The type of dancing you see is call "Freak Dancing" en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perreo |
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Post by swmom on Oct 28, 2007 9:11:42 GMT -5
Well said, TerryB. My dh and I have been talking about all this stuff this morning and starting to feel very concerned. I think dd is very much struggling with wanting to fit in but at the same time being disgusted(and even frightened)of the things she sees the other kids doing. Gosh, what do you do?
There's a middle school dance next Friday night at school. If she hears the kids talking about it next week, she'll want to go. But then, here we go again with all the feelings she had after last night. Ugh. I'm proud of her for having the courage to tell us that she didn't like what she saw at the party and just not going along with it just to "fit in." That's pretty admirable. I guess we need to think of ways she can appear to fit in without participating in dances and other occasions where the girls are "teasing" the boys.
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Post by swmom on Oct 28, 2007 9:21:56 GMT -5
Mayleng -
After reading your post, I now know why half of the 7th grade boys weren't there! I kind of wondered about that. These boys are still so young. They just like to ride their bikes around the neighborhood and hang out at their favorite tree. The girls, however, are quite aggressive. It's kind of amazing really.
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Post by TerryB on Oct 28, 2007 10:48:29 GMT -5
Meyleng, thanks for the terminology update. I'll show my dd. What kind of Rap music do you like Meyleng? Any particular artist?
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Post by vickilyn32 on Oct 29, 2007 9:37:04 GMT -5
What your DD is talking about is the dance that they do on the solder boy video. (I think that is the name) All the kids here seem to know it as well. They also do what they call dirty dancing here, but it is not nearly as bad as the freak dancing. Theirs is more like the movie Dirty Dancing with Patrick Swazey and Jennifer Grey. The freak dancing is not allowed at any of our dances, even if it is thrown by a parent and not the school. Comes from living in the middle of the Bible Belt I guess. What is more popular with DD and her friends is a kind of line dancing. They all are cheerleaders and most have taken lots of dance classes, so they love to make up dances to songs, then at dances and parties they dance them as a group. After a few times other pick up on how to do it, so they start to join in. That way no one needs a partner, and anyone can join.
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Post by Mayleng on Oct 29, 2007 10:27:51 GMT -5
Terry, I like rap in small doses, so I like the ones that rap but also have some singing. I like Linkin Park as well - so Numb/Encore (Linkin Park and JayZ), Fort Minor (Mike Shinoda of Linkin Park's other group). My sons listen to some rap, so I listen to keep in touch with what they (my kids) are all about - their tastes in music is like their father and mine - can go from Frank Sinatra, Beatles, Fallout Boys, Boys like Girls, Gorillaz to Kanye West.
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Post by LurkNoMore on Oct 31, 2007 12:04:09 GMT -5
Here's the link to an "instructional video" on you-tube
and here's another one to the music
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