Would you make your kid play w/girl in class?

[2kids]

:)This girl doesnt have many friends but my dau doesnt like her. They are not a good match. It also seems like this girl makes up stories about mine saying she did this or said that to me. The difference is this girl acts sweet in front of grown ups. My dau doesnt she'll let you know if she's angry or happy but wont act differently in front of adults!! Another girl has backed up my dau's story. This girl is threatning her that she will tell me made up things. I feel bad for this girl because no one likes her. Yesterday the girl went out of her way to make copies of research for my dau's project. When she went to give it to my dau my lovely straight foward little one said I already have research I dont need it. I did tell her she should of said Thank you I already did my own work but Ill look and see if you have anything I might of missed. But at least my dau was honest and admitted that she said that to her!! I was thinking of talking to the teacher and maybe she can find someone for this girl to play with besides mine. I feel bad for this girl but at the same time should I force mine to play with her??? Thats what I have been telling her to do!! What should I do???

[d]

I would not force my dd to play with anyone she doesn't want to but I expect her to be kind and polite to all whether she likes them or not (and especially kids who have social difficulties like that girl in your dd's class). Unfortunately, they've got to learn how to navigate these social things themselves.

Your dd sounds great - gotta love the blunt honesty. Did the other girl threaten to tell you made up stories before or after the research thing?

[Shandawn]

My DD just recently went through a similar situation. She started a new school this year & the first child she made friends with was a girl who has some social problems. It was going ok until my DD started making other friends. This girl insisted that SHE was DDs only friend & she would follow DD a foot away from her all over the play ground! Well, My DD is NOT one to just "take it" shre finally told the girl to "just Buzz off"! OMG..the poor girl was crying! That was 2 months ago & DD is still nice to her & polite but she wants to have lots of friends, not just one & this other girl won't go for that so DD never plays with her.

I agree, you can't choose their friends for them, but you CAN insist they be polite & treat others as they would want to be treated!

[ohmama]

If you think your child could benefit from this story, please have them read it...

At a fund raising dinner for a school that serves learning disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question.

"When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query.

"The father continued. "I believe, that when a child like Shay comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story: Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball.

Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?"

Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much needed sense of belonging. Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play.

The boy looked around for guidance and, getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the outfield. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, would they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible 'cause Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved in a few steps to throw the ball softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly toward Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher took the ball and turned and threw the ball on a high arc to right field, far beyond the reach of the first baseman.

Everyone started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!"

Never in his life had Shay ever made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!"

By the time Shay rounded first base, the right fielder had the ball.

He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions and instead threw the ball high and far over the third baseman's head.

Shay ran toward second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases toward home.

Shay reached second base, the opposing shortstop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third!"

As Shay rounded third, the boys from BOTH teams were screaming, "Shay, run home!"

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the 'grand slam' and won the game for his team.

"That day," said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true humanity and compassion into this world."

Friends are quite angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

If we can teach our children compassion for others they will know what a real friend is and be able to make good choices.

[2pearl]

ohmama, that is beautiful. I'm printing it for my kids to read.

Thanks for posting it.

[2kids]

thank you for your insight and that beautiful story.
The unfortunate part of my story is both girls have social issues. The other girl is unable to take resposibility for her own actions. I think my dau lost respect for her when she ratted her out for drawing bad words on the slide. My dau said the other girl started writing them first and mine did too. The only problem was the other girl got caught and told on mine and only admitted to writing one word and that was the nice one. My dau told the truth and said yes to the words she wrote.That was in the beginning of the yr.

I find it a bit unsettling that this girl told my dau she was going to try and get her suspended and lie about things she did. I spoke with the teacher this morning but forgot to tell her about how the girl was supposed to lie to me and about the suspension issue. But I asked if they could watch and redirect the other girl to a new group of friends. I said I didnt think they were a good match together because of their personalities and I didnt want my dau to get into trouble because of it. The teacher was great and I also asked to let me know if there is something I need to do at home with redirection with my dau!! I think that I as the parent need to understand that my dau is not perfect and may have some blame here but she does not need to be forced to play with someone because they have no friends. Especially if that child may cause her to get in trouble. But I also felt the need to be sensitive to that other girl and try and find someone that will be freinds with her. Maybe the teachers can lead them in the right direction and help with those social issues!! Thanks for the reassurance that I was right in my feelings. I will read that story Ohmama wrote it is inspiring!!!!