In school Suspension

[alexsma]

Just curious how would you handle this, last week my son spent 1.5 days in in school suspension after he took two pieces of candy off the teachers desk. The children go out for recess and then come back in the class hang up their coats and go to lunch. The teachers are at lunch themselves during this time. The playground monitors stay in the hall to watch everyone.

When asked about this he did tell the truth, which has been difficult for him lately. He has been in a little bit of a lying mode lately. So after he fesses up he spends the rest of the day by himself in a room behind the school secretary's desk and the entire next day also.

I spoke with the guidance counselor about this and asked if the teacher had looked over any of the recommendations made by the US Department of education about classroom strategies with ADHD students. She wasn't sure if the teacher had or not.

My son came home today and said that because he had such a bad day Thursday, we are on a behavior chart and this was the first bad day this week after several great days. He spent the entire day in the suspension room. I really don't feel that this it the best way to handle him and after I voiced my concerns I have a mind to head down to the school first thing Monday morning and speak with the principal about this.

Oh by the way my son is 7 and in the second grade!

How would you handle this?

Thanks

[snorkeler]

alexsma,
Have you read the school policy on stealing? Get a copy! ALso, has he been given a certain
amount of verbal warnings that when combined with the latest incident caused the in-school
suspension? Is your child on an IEP OHI for ADHD or anything else related to behavior, then you can protest the suspension. DO YOU feel the suspension was appropriate for the action?
DO you think the behavior chart is a positive reinforcement of postive behavior; if not, speak with the teacher(with guidence counselor present), to make a better plan. If you show the teacher and your child you are interactive and not reactive I think a better and more workable plan can be made. Not a behavior chart. This only reinforces bad behavior and poor self- esteem.
By the way never "go down" to the school and demand a face to face they will one, never let you in and two, they will never take you seriously. Request a meeting with the teacher and the Guidance person or teacher and IEP team if there is one. Better to keep the teacher involved and not alienated.
Snorkeler

[d]

Snorkeler, awesome advice.

[Gillian]

In school suspensions for 2nd graders?? Two days of it for taking a piece of candy?? Is it me or is that over the top?? I'd never even heard of in school suspensions until we hit Junior High. I'd definitely set up a meeting with the Principal on this one. Keep us updated.

[d]

grace said:

In school suspensions for 2nd graders?? Two days of it for taking a piece of candy?? Is it me or is that over the top?? I'd never even heard of in school suspensions until we hit Junior High. I'd definitely set up a meeting with the Principal on this one. Keep us updated.

No Gillian, I agree with you. I was trying to exercise some restraint and knew I'd fail - there would be a long-winded passionate rant about how wrong it was. Something to the effect of idiotic school, doesn't sound like this school will ever get the power of positive reinforcement, how age inappropriate and excessive, something needs to be done to protect this kid. Not saying he didn't deserve some sort of punishment - lying and stealing are "non-negotiables". BUT the teacher and school handled this poorly.

That's why I liked snorkeler's advice. At minimum, he needs protection. Teacher doesn't sound like she is up to the job. Administration must be nuts too agreeing with punishment like this. Guidance counselor, eh may know something but dropped the ball so I'd go over that person's head.

alex's mom, I would definitely talk to the principal.

If the school isn't aware of it, they should know he has ADHD so you can get him some sort of protection like snorkeler said. You can also remind him that the US Dept of Education feels that positive interventions for ADHDers work best - if only the guidance counselor(who isn't acting on it) knows what good will that do? Make sure you point out you agree with the school rules that lying and stealing are not acceptable and that you are fully aware that your ds has had issues with the truth. However, given the fact that when your ds finally 'fessed up and did the right thing to correct the situation, the school did NOT HELP you in your job as a parent with how they handled it. In fact, they UNDERMINED your efforts. I would also be plenty PO'd that he was largely unattended during the ISS - that is a SAFETY issue, especially for a kid that has some impulsivity challenges. I'd also be the biggest pest with a 1,000 questions as to what are the school's plans to put something in effect for your ds - and let the principal know in no uncertain terms (all politely with a smile of course) that you hold him/her accountable for what happens to your ds at that school in that principal's building - his safety, what their plans are, teacher cooperation with those plans, insisting the teacher learn something about ADHD, etc. Also, go there with a list of suggestions that you think may work at school that they could apply to ds.

[alexsma]

Thank you all for your advice, The trouble is that our school as with all schools now is spread thin on resources. Our guidance counselor is in the building one day a week only. I don't feel that is enough to address issues like this. I will speak with the administration, my son is not on a IEP at this time. The problem is that he is smart and does finish his work. I have been told that the only way he could receive an IEP is if he was labeled Emotionally Unstable. I am not sure, but I feel that it is time to request an MFE, i think that is what it is called.

Please correct me if I am wrong about that, but our principal has an open door policy about parents speaking with her. So I think that I will just check in and let her know that how I feel about the situation and go from there.

I am getting stressed out because I am out of ideas and everyone seems like that look to me for the answers and I have ran out of the solutions.

[Mayleng]

I would request a Functional Behavioral Assessment - Functional behavioral assessment is a problem-solving process for addressing student problem behavior. It is used to identify the purposes of specific behavior and to help IEP team select interventions to directly address the problem behavior. It is the process of determining the cause (or "function") of behavior before developing an intervention. FBA is used to create Behavior plans, contain: strategies, document skills the students need in order to behave in a more appropriate manner, or plans providing motivation to conform to required standards. The plan should be proactive, positive intervention plans that teach new ways of behaving, and address both the source of the problem, by serving the same function, and the problem itself. The interventions must be based on the hypothesized cause (function) of behavior.

He can get an IEP under OHI for his ADHD, so that they can put an POSITIVE behavior program in place to help him.

[Mayleng]

PS/ I would never let him be put under Emotional Disturbed category for an IEP. That is not his problem.

[alexsma]

Thank you that is how I felt, I wasn't sure what else to try to get him help. I was hoping that if I get him reevaluated, he was on a IEP for preschool, but didn't qualify for school age IEP. That then maybe we could get some other type of help for him. I don't know, maybe I should be talking to someone for me. I feel as though I am losing it some days, my hair is falling out and I can't sleep at night. Some days I can't wait until it's time for him to go to his dad's house. We are divorced and doing it all my self it getting hard!! Oh well thanks for listing to me rant, it does help it seems like my other friends don't understand at all.

[d]

Alexsma, so sorry you are so tired. Please take care of yourself! And there is a whole bunch of us here who can relate and help where we can so you are most definitely not alone.

Let us know how the situation works out this week.

[alexsma]

I may have finally gotten somewhere with the school!! I sent an email to the teacher telling her how I felt with him spending the entire day isolated from the other kids. And that I would in the future need written notification that such a punishment was administered.

I also asked if she had read any of the information on the US department of education's website about teaching strategies for children with ADHD. I made sure to send her a link and the word document from that article.

She sent me back an email and there is an intervention meeting set up for Thursday morning, with the team of school specialists. I also got the name of an advocate from a nonprofit in my state that will speak on the child's behalf if needed.

So keep your fingers crossed, Thursday is only a few days away! Also Friday mean a weekend at his dad's house and a few days off for me. Although it's pretty bad when a weekend that you work seems like a day off!!
Thanks for all your support

[Beverly]

Good Luck Thursday.

[Mayleng]

Good Luck with the meeting. I understand about the weekend. Take a break (even if you have to work) and just chill and try not to think too much about all the issues right now.

[d]

Pls let us know how it goes.