Upset with Son and School

[kc4braves]

My son came home with a note from the principal, I guess, today. It was not signed but son said he had to go to principal's office. I guess he got on trouble for spitting on the bus last week and was told by bus driver to write 20 sentences. He forgot them and was told to add 20 over the weekend. Which, guess what, he forgot. So I get this note saying that he REFUSED to write the sentences and CANNOT return to school until a parent conference is completed AND it was written up as a warning to go in his record. He is not introuble for spitting but for not writing the sentences. I could understand if they had given him detention until he turned them in. Of course, I also think, considering he is ADHD and has a 504 stating that he forgets his homework, etc., that I should have been contacted by phone or note that he needed to write sentences in the first place. I am also very ill with them that they do not bother to pick up the phone and call me. If something is so important that my child cannot go back to school, I should at least get a call. Shouldn't I? I left a nasty message...well nasty for me....on the answering machine at the school at 4 pm when they refused to answer the phone. I don't know who I am more upset with my son or the grown-ups at his school. Am I totally over reacting? In CA, if his nose ran they called me. HEre, they don't even call if he gets sent to the office and a conference is required. I also wonder what they do to trouble- makers??

I had been having such a good day. I opened his folder and discovered that he had made rather low grades again...C's...and F on a paper that she gave them the answers to. She told them to correct their papers and even wrote the corrections on the board. I guess he didn't correct much. I doubt he had time to correct all the things he missed because that required re-writing sentences, BUT I canot tell that he corrected much of anything.

Oh...and did I mention that he came home with no books for homework? and no AR book, either??

CALGOOOONNNNNNNNNN. Take me awaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!

[2pearl]

I completely agree with you. You absolutely should have gotten a phone call, both to tell you about the sentences and for what is apparently a suspension. And can they even suspend someone for such a minor offense without many prior similar incidents? In our district, after a kid recieves a certain amount of "misconducts" they recieve a suspension. The fact that he has ADHD and a 504 stating that he forgets things makes it even more unbelievable. Is this a public school?

[d]

kc4braves, aren't you angling to document accomds in a 504? I'd say this is an example of ADHD forgetfulness (and what the heck was a BUS DRIVER doing doling out academic punishments for poor bus behavior? Don't get me wrong, we have plenty of serious consequences for unacceptable bus conduct but none include writing "I will not do X again" 20 times.)

Here's some Calgon...

[kc4braves]

Yes...a public school. The same principal who told me the first day of school that I was an over protective parent when I indicated that I didn't really think 2-4th graders needed junk food machines on the hall. lol He also thought I was nuts when I requested my son not be put in a room with a couch that appeared very disorganized.

My son is not a trouble maker. His teacher has no complaints about his behavior. He has been in trouble for throwing rocks on the playground...which was really knocking rocks off teh slide that some other boys put in his way...and now spitting on teh bus. I asked the neighbor kid who rides teh bus and she agreed with his story that they were singing and when the song got faster, some spit flew out...but some little girl told on them. Those are the only problems this year. And he is only in trouble because he forgot to do the sentences. Had I know about them and how many, etc., they would have been done.

The note doesn't say he is suspended and it is not signed by the principal, only the bus driver. But my son talked to the principal and was told that his mother had to come to the school and talk with him before ds could go back to class. So...I'm getting punished for something they didn't even tell me about. And I'm not sure what his punishment is. I think I missed that part.

My dd had to write sentences saying she would sit in her seat on teh bus. I'm not sure what other punishments they hand out. My son and the girl he got in trouble with are not problem kids. She is a straight A kid who has never even been to the office. But she remembered to do her sentences. Even IF my son purposely "forgot" his sentences, I still feel that I should have been called before this note ever got sent home.

I want to make my point tomorrow without coming across as a witch and making things worse. I guess we will see. Bad thing is.....I am NOT, by any stretch of the imagination, a morning person. God help us all.

Kathy

[Mayleng]

Good Luck and let us know what happened.

[kc4braves]

Well, I took ds to school this morning prepared to let the principal have a piece of my mind. lol Fortunantly for him, he was polite and professional and not at all condescending like before. His behavior and attitude kinda diffused my anger. ( Darnit...don't you just hate it when you are loaded to blast someone and they are nice!!! ) Anyway, we discussed what happened on the bus and I told him that none of this seemed to be about the spitting but rather the fact that he forgot the sentences. He said...well...yes..he was the only one who didn't turn them in . ( I almost said...and he is the only one with ADHD..you should try it sometime...but I didn't) I told him that had I known there was an assignment, I would have seen that it was completed and returned. HE told me that he had also questioned the bus driver as to why she did not contact the parent either when she first assigned the sentences or when he didn't return them. The bus driver apparently told him that she ASSUMED a 4th grader could do that on his own. So we had another discussion about a person who really knows nothing about my child ASSUMING things. But my biggest question was.....why was I never called? Why didn't the principal call me after talking to my son? He told me he didn't call because it was NOT a big deal....just a bus warning!! To that I explained very calmly that when a parent receives a note from the school after a child has been to the office and the note says the child cannot return to school until the parent has a conference with the principal...that the parent ASSUMES that their is a major problem!!!!!!! He said...well the bus driver wrote the note, I just signed it. I pointed out that he had not even signed it and had him look at the boxes that were checked. He got this strange look and said...oh, I can see why you were concerned. I have to take responsiblity for that. I thnk the bus driver may be hearing about it. The principal assured me that had it been a "big deal" he would have called. I told him that I preferred to be called about even "little deals" that involve a trip to the office. Hopefully, I got through to him.

He also told me as we were leaving that there are videos in the buses and that he would review them to see what really happened with the spitting. I told him the story that the two kids had both told me. ( The bus driver said the kids were having a spitting contest. They both said, independently of one another, that they were singing and spraying. Once someone laughed, off they went with more spraying.) So we will see who was right the kids or the bus driver. Gosh...it sure would be nice to catch my son telling the truth.

Thanks for your support.

KAthy

[Mayleng]

Glad it is over and hopefully, the Principal will set the bus driver straight. I didn't know Bus drivers could give punishments on their own. It is unheard of here. Here they will talk to the parents or report it to the school and it is up to the school to take action. The Bus driver cannot make up punishments on her/his own. If they misbehave on the bus, they don't get to ride on the bus to school and back, they are not suspended from school. I think your bus driver was taking alot on her/his own hands.

[kc4braves]

I think so too. I also think that when you put that many kids togehter for that long in a cramped area, tehy will play. I would like to view the tapes myself and see just what went on with the kids. I don't think any of it was worth them not being able to ride the bus. In fact, that was only mentioned because the sentences were late.....he did 80!! I hope she's happy. I feel if the spitting was really a big thing that plus other offecnse should result in no bus priveleges for a while but not forgetting sentences. Oh well. It's done for now and we have 18 more days of school here. Whoo hoo!


KAthy

[Gillian]

18 more days?

[Mayleng]

18 more days before Kathy and family moves to OK.

[kc4braves]

Right. 18 more school days. We are leaving at the start of Thanksgiving Break here.

Kathy

[brazos]

Kathy a Fresh start is what your kid needs.

[kc4braves]

& more school days here....then a fresh start. Sounds good, right? Why does it worry me so much? lol Life as a parent. I think what worries me the most is that dh got put on straight swings at work with only Mon and Tue off indefinently....until someone dies, moves or we give up and move again or change jobs. I feel like a single parent now and am not sute that is going to change. Hubby will only see my kids on the evenings he is off and Sat and Sun morning. I'm not sure it is gonna work. It has too, though, right? My son really needs daddy around. Things had improved so much with hubby home now we are back to sq one with his schedule. Not only does it throw ds off but it leaves me having to do everything...enforce every rule, deal with all the homework issues and school issues and all the running around to appts and activities. it has not gone so well here but maybe things will change once we get started there.

All I can say is please for me.

KAthy

Oh...did I mention I have to drive to OK in a Kia with both kids and a dog for about 9-10 hours? Pray hard. lol

[RobbysMom]

After that drive you are going to be WAY beyond the Calgon "take me away" moment! I never ask for anything specific for Christmas, but this year I think I may just treat myself to (or tell dh to!) one of those massage memberships at a Massage Envy or a similar place.

You need to treat yourself to something too! You've been going through a lot and you deserve a bit of relaxation!

Take care & have a safe trip! peace*

[kc4braves]

Thanks. I think Prozac might be more helpful at this point for me than Calgon. lol Just the 4.5 hr trip to my parents from here leaves me frazzled. I'm going to buy a couple of new movies for them to watch, I think and will probably cave and plug the PS2 into the tv's in the car for the longer trip to OK. Then there will be no fights over which movie to watch, etc. Gotta plan ahead. lol The money we spent to add the tvs about a yr or two ago was money well spent for long trips. ( We used to drive from CA to MS at least once a year.)

Thanks for the encouragement.

KAthy