Son wet his pants

[2pearl]

Okay. My son wet his pants in last period today because the Spanish teacher wouldn't let him go to the bathroom. He is supposed to go during recess (2 hours earlier) but he forgot today. I'm really upset about this. I know teachers have to enforce the rules but if you see a kid hopping from foot to foot and you don't let him go to the bathroom then that is just cruel. She should have let him go and given different consequences after.
This teacher has a reputation for being mean, my son will have her as his Spanish teacher for the next 3 years. Any advice on how to handle this?

[Mayleng]

I would suggest you talk to the principal about this. This is just plain cruel and embarassing.

[d]

I don't understand this rule. I know some teachers designate acceptable times for bathroom breaks and/or frown on going at certain times/periods but have never once encountered a teacher that will not let a kid go if they absolutely have to regardless of whether it's a designated time or not. Sometimes, nature calls and that applies to all of us. I could see a particular kid who needs to be "encouraged" or guided to go before her class starts if something is developing in to a pattern or some other situation. However, I do not understand the no exceptions reasoning and would be on the phone with that teacher toot sweet followed closely by an immediate call into the principal.

[Beverly]

How embarrassing for your son. I am a teacher and never have I refused to allow a student to go to the bathroom even when it is one who is known for just needing to "take a walk". That is cruel, and I am quite sure, very illegal.

[2pearl]

I don't know if the teacher saw that he wet his pants or not. He came out of school and told me he fell in a puddle (fortunately it was raining) but it was clear to anyone who really looked what had happened. It was only when we got into the car that he started crying and told me what really happened.
I told him tonight that if he ever has to go to the bathroom that badly again, then he is to just go even if he was told not to. We'll deal with the consequences after. He begged me not to talk to the teacher. He's very embarassed about the whole thing.
I'm afraid if I do talk to the teacher, she'll embarass him again by mentioning it to him. On the other hand the more I think about this the more furious I get. I still haven't decided what I'm going to do.

[d]

2pearl said:

I'm afraid if I do talk to the teacher, she'll embarass him again by mentioning it to him. On the other hand the more I think about this the more furious I get. I still haven't decided what I'm going to do.

How about this:

If there is a good chance the teacher is unaware of it, I'd politely make sure she is aware of it so it doesn't happen again. Give her the benefit of the doubt at the same time listening to her reaction (listen more than speak for a few moments will give you a better sense of her) then firmly tell her that if your ds has to go to the bathroom again in her class he will (politely but firmly).

She can't be that much of a monster. If she is, then I would not hesitate to go over her head. Your ds is doing well - the last thing he needs is a misunderstanding or monster teacher whichever the case may be here interfering with that.

But you're his mother so do what your gut tells you.

[Gillian]

I would go to the Principal. That teacher needs a wake-up call.

[G]

This same situation happened to me. My son had an accident at school and no one noticed but me when he got off the bus. he had on camo print pants so it was hard to notice. he didn't tell the teacher either because he was embarassed. I just wrote a quick note saying what had happened .
So, perhaps just a short note to the teacher would help. Perhaps it was all a mis understanding. i would not get the principal involved until I talked to the teacher first. JMO
nat