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Post by Shandawn on Sept 28, 2005 21:47:19 GMT -5
Hi. My DD is having an awful time at school!
First a quick background: My DD is 11, 5th grade, ADD inattentive & math LD. She was dx'ed 2 years ago while in a private school. Due to money problems, this year we put her in public school. They are currently in the process of reassessing her. I have no problems there. The head of the spec ed dept & the psych are both wonderful women who are keeping me posted every step of the way.
The teacher is where my problem lies. shes constantly belittling my DD in front of the other students. Shes nitpicking over the smallest issues. Shes telling DD things that should be brought to MY attention, not relayed to me through her & in front of the class as well! We met & the principal sat in. This teacher assures me that she likes DD & will be more supportive. She told me she does not yell, understands DD's problems, etc. That was 1 week ago. This week, my DD again is coming home in tears. Teacher is telling her (In front of class yet again) that she will not help her on her math. That DD should know it, because ALL 5th graders should! She tells DD "your mom must have an attitude problem". She told her she needs to wear her glasses at all times. I explained that as DD is nearsighted, she does not need the glasses to read. Teacher tells DD "if your mom doesn't care if you go blind, then neither do I"!
As a consequence, some of her classmates have begun to tease & Threaten her. Ok, I had enough. I called the principal today & told her what was going on & asked her to also tell teacher to email me with issues instead of belittling & Embarassing DD. We shall see. THe principal is a marvelous, caring woman. I think she will help if she can.
I told my daughter to just do her best work, keep to herself & Let me know of any problems while I try to work this out. What else can I do?? I dont want to request a change of class yet. DD has bonded with one other girl & this other child has learning problems too & not many friends in the class. They are good for each other & DD wants to try to stay in the class with her. I jUst dont want to see my daughter get treated like crap!
Another factor here is the math they have here is completely different than at her old school. They are using the new math & on each page is a variety of different types of problems, some of which she has never learned.
How do I keep myself sane & My daughter protected while we finish with the assessment & until we get an IEP in place??
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Post by Mayleng on Sept 29, 2005 7:51:43 GMT -5
This type of teacher kills me or makes me want to smack them. You just have to continue to pursue this with the Principal and make sure the "abuse" stops. But this is a no win situation - the flip side is the teacher will totally ignore your dd and not care about teaching her. I know you don't want to switch classes, but that may be the only option. Meantime, tell your dd to have thick skin. Tell her she is going to meet mean people thru' out her life, and the only way to handle these type of people is to not get "hurt" by them when they belittle her, and to just do her best. That you are trying to help her. Meantime, get the eval done FAST, so that she can get the help and remediation to help with the math.
I am really sorry, your dd is going thru' this.
By the way, does this teacher understand that your dd has a math LD and ADHD.
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Post by G on Sept 29, 2005 9:06:41 GMT -5
Sorry to hear about your teacher situation. Doesn't this woman know that kids will jump on her bandwagon and what a poor example she is teaching her students. Pointing out your childs difficulties in front of the class is just plain wrong. Ask her how she would feel if you discussed the problem you are having with her in front of all of her peers. I am sure she would want to keep things private then.
If the principal is not helping, no matter how nice she is, I would call the superintendent, and if the teacher continues I would call the school board, or talk to some of the school board members. They should know that a teacher they hired is acting very irresponsibly and negatively to your daughter.
I hope things get better. If you can i would pull her out of that class.
Good luck,
nat
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Post by VaMom on Sept 29, 2005 9:40:32 GMT -5
Ditto what nat said, including trying to get her class placement changed. And I usually don't advocate that, but this teacher is  and your dd needs out of there before any more damage is done. Good luck and let us know how it's going.  for the abuse your dd is taking and you have to be put in the position of rescuing her from this monster. |
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Post by dihicks6 on Sept 29, 2005 9:43:05 GMT -5
I went to open house last night, and like this teacher you are having problems with, my gs' math teacher runs into him in the hall and asks if he did his homework??? My gs says yes, and the teacher says he doesn't believe him. My gs says it's in his locker and would teacher like him to go get it??? He shut up and moved on. What's with these teachers? And you wonder why the kids get mouthy after awhile (I realize your dd is still young, but my gs is almost 13). This teacher even stopped while giving his speech in his classroom because some Mom was looking through her purse for something -- making everyone look at this poor woman. It's a good thing it wasn't me -- I would've just looked at him and said "problem?"!!! ADHD/LD kids have enough trouble without mean-spirited teachers. Keep documenting in writing anything that happens, so that when you ask for anything, you can back it up.
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belle
Full Member
Posts: 52
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Post by belle on Sept 29, 2005 9:52:58 GMT -5
I agree that it may be best to get her out of that class. Eleven is such a vulnerable age, she needs her self esteem built up, not smacked down in front of the whole class. When my son was in 1st grade, his spec.Ed teacher was pretty hard on him, taking field trips away, no recess etc because he wouldn't finish his work, had temper tantrums. He had just finished chemo the year before, was in a wheelchair that he clearly did not want to be in, ataxic, no balance, all this stuff piled on him. He was hard to handle, but she was plain mean, she was going to make him comply. I called an IEP meeting, when they would not give him his own aide, my friend and his psychologist attended the meeting with me. She made the remark about him taking his shoes and orthotics off 'for attention' and should be able to put them back on himself, the psychologist came unglued...he very coldly told her that because his feet hurt, and he was handicapped, if "normal" children were allowed to take their shoes off she would need to help him put his shoes and orthotics back on. He explained to everyone exactly what he had been through and made them understand the best way to handle situations with him more than I could. After that, they realized if I felt he needed something, I wasn't going to stop. He's in HS now and things are going well.  |
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Post by Shandawn on Sept 29, 2005 10:01:51 GMT -5
Thank you ALL for your support!
Mayleng: yes, the teacher does know about the ADHD & the LD.
Ok, update: This morning DH took DD to school & the principal had him come up & talk to teacher with her. DH told this teacher in no uncertain terms that she was to TEACH DD and cut out the remarks. He told her that we are aware of DDs problems and DD does not need them pointed out to the entire class. He told her he expected her, as an adult, to cut out the cattiness & act professional. He also said he better not see her taking out her feelings for US on DD. ThE principal was RIGHT THERE & she agreed & backed up DH. SHe told the teacher she is to email us if she has an issue in the future. She also told her not to let her dealings with us get in the way of teaching & helping DD. I'm very proud of DH....he usually lets this type of thing up to me. Hes ADHD himself & not very organized when expressing himself. I thought he did very well!
Hopefully DD will be getting acedemic help very soon. THE actual testing for her assessment takes place this wednesday.
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Post by Mayleng on Sept 29, 2005 10:48:14 GMT -5
Good for your Dh for stepping up to the plate. I think it is good that your DH talked to the teacher instead of you, because for some reason, women are bitchy to other women (I mean the teacher here). I am very glad that the Principal backed you guys up. At least you know she is supportive.
Good Luck, and I hope the teacher will act like a professional instead of a catty person. By the way, how was the teacher's reaction - positive or sullen?
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Post by swmom on Sept 29, 2005 11:54:39 GMT -5
Good job DH! Sounds like the teacher needed just what she got.
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Post by mrsb00 on Sept 29, 2005 14:11:57 GMT -5
Kudos to DH! I agree with Mayleng on the woman to woman bitchiness. It is so true! This year ds has a male and I think he's either scared of me or wants nothing to do with me!
Good luck!
~Dana
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Post by Babs on Sept 29, 2005 15:06:23 GMT -5
You have every right to be proud of him! WTG!
I think its good that the teacher and principal both saw that it isn't just one parent with an attitude, but BOTH parents are fed up with the way their dd is treated by her.
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Post by theirmom on Sept 29, 2005 15:22:23 GMT -5
please, for your sake DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT. Write down every date that you have contact with the school/teacher/principal. Document the teacher's comments and your requests and what does (or does not) happen. If this does have to go to the superintendant and school board they will need to have names, dates and data from you. they won't be much help with out it. Get a notebook just for this stuff and keep track. Awful that this is happening to your child. Some people should NOT be teachers....
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Post by Shandawn on Sept 29, 2005 15:34:10 GMT -5
please, for your sake DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT. Write down every date that you have contact with the school/teacher/principal. Document the teacher's comments and your requests and what does (or does not) happen. If this does have to go to the superintendant and school board they will need to have names, dates and data from you. they won't be much help with out it. Get a notebook just for this stuff and keep track. Awful that this is happening to your child. Some people should NOT be teachers.... I am, I do have a notebook. I'm also keeping every paper that DD brings home in a folder, just in case. Thanks! |
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Post by G on Sept 29, 2005 21:13:58 GMT -5
I;m glad to hear that things got out in the open and that your DH did that. My Dh hardly ever speaks up and I wish he did more. I am always the one doing all the talking when we go to a meeting.
I hope the teacher listens. keep your eye on her!
nat
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