Had Meeting Today-ACKKKK!!!

[dihicks6]

Okay, same drill today. It's the kid's fault -- he needs to be more motivated, needs to practice more self-control, blah, blah, blah. His math teacher could barely contain his contempt for the kid. I was sorely tempted to ask him if there was anything he liked about him. It nearly killed him to tell me that on a quiz today, he got 10 out of 11 correct. I heard the same thing over and over, no executive functioning skills, but gets passing to excellent grades on tests & quizzes, but can't remember homework assignments or to bring supplies to class, can't focus, is disruptive, etc.



Okay, so then I send the teacher's out and just talk with the guidance counselor and principal. Gs has scored consistently below grade level in reading -- I made them bring in his cum file, but their answer to that is "it's low average" and "there's a long waiting list for evaluations, it will take months", yada, yada, yada. He's off the charts for Math and anything verbal. The icing on the cake is when I ask how they can teach him study skills, i.e., executive functioning skills, they want him to stay after school for two weeks to do it, and they were upset when I said I'd think about it and why should it seem like a punishment when he plain just doesn't have these skills? The principal said "he needs to take responsibility" and "after he does what he's supposed to do, he won't need to stay after school -- it will be an incentive". ACCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!



Time to regroup and decide what to do. I have my letter all set to request evaluations, so I'm not concerned about the "waiting list" part -- they have 60 days -- end of subject. I'm going to look into an outside evaluation, will be much quicker. Had to explain what "working memory" is to the principal, but he still thinks GS can control all of this. I asked him if he really thought GS likes having all this trouble -- his answer? "Well, I believe it's possible -- I have lots of kids that just don't care". Just shoot me now and get it over with!!!!! Middle School must not talk to high school, or they wouldn't have been so shocked that I just didn't roll over and say, "yeah, I'll beat the kid, just for you!"

Any suggestions for how to get the school to teach him the study/executive function skills? My plan now is to get him an outside evaluation -- do not pass GO, do not collect $200 -- go directly to IEP.

[TexasMom]

Sorry to hear about your meeting! We are in a very similar boat! For the first time in his whole school history we are pushing back at the school. In the past, things have gone fairly well although obviously not well enough or he wouldn't still be struggling like he is. However, I always had hope (even if it was false hope) that they had his best interests at heart and that what they proposed might help. However, I was just sent the information and recommendations that will be presented at this IEP meeting scheduled for Wednesday and I am very upset!

They didn't test for what they should have. One of the tests they used was not even for his age and one was a cursive writing test they they gave him to write in manuscript! Then, they didn't add anything additional to help and they disqualified him for speech/language services.

Many of the teachers are also beginning the "blame the student" game as well and they don't seem to understand his IEP and certainly don't understand his difficulties.

What to do? Let me know if you find the magic bullet!

[Mayleng]

This is my nightmare for Middle School. dhicks, are you going to use Dr. K for the evall? If you do, he will be able to recommend accomodations etc. for the IEP.

Principal sounds really ignorant and an Ass.

I hope you sort out these people.

Tmom, keep pushing and keep showing the teachers his IEP. Don't let them play the blame game.

[d]

Sorry to hear dihicks - did the same drill last year. I plowed through it like a bull in a china shop - as in "look here [you twit school psych], executive functioning problems mean organization problems and they are common in ADHD now what tests do you think would show exec funtioning..."

If I come up with anything brilliant for your situation, I'll let you know.

d, operating on 3% brainpower tonight

[brookesmom]

dihicks,

Sorry to hear about your meeting. It is so frustrating to deal with teachers and administrators who do not want to do what THEY GET PAID TO DO!

We have had a bumpy start to middle school this year. Brooke has an IEP and I am still hearing the same things you are. The Middle school coordinator actually told my dd that needed to use her self control and pay attention in class. Brooke is actually doing ok with attention right now, and is doing well on tests as long as they are read to her. Her executive functioning skills stink and that is why she has lots of organizational goals in her IEP. But I still hear from all of the teachers that organization is Brooke's responsibility, blah blah blah like you said. It is always the kids fault. Like they enjoy feeling like a failure all the time.

Texasmom,

This is also the first year that I am really pushing back too. There is one very sweet middle school teacher who has a son with AD/HD and she told me to keep advocating as a parent because it only gets worse when you get to high school.

[dihicks6]

Oh yes, when I asked about eval's for executive function, their other answer was "it must go through the IPT team" or some such crap. And, oh, b-t-w, their next meeting isn't until October "something". My letter to the principal requesting evals will go out today. I'm considering talking to the sped chair. I've filed dp against this district before, but of course, would not want to go that route, so maybe she can help things along. It seems it's more ignorance than anything else.

[d]

brookesmom said:

The Middle school coordinator actually told my dd that needed to use her self control and pay attention in class.

But I still hear from all of the teachers that organization is Brooke's responsibility, blah blah blah like you said. It is always the kids fault. Like they enjoy feeling like a failure all the time.

The middle school psych's recommendation was that my dd needed HIS counseling so that she could "better express her needs to her teachers". (As *IF* I would let him near my dd and what about all the "selfs" - self esteem, self advocacy and self empowerment - I've drilled into her for years...). Ah, maybe a then 11 yo girl needed teacher HELP with areas she is deficient in?

I started silently referring to him as "Dr. Turdbrain". Got so bad that I thought I'd slip and call him that in person. ;D

Somehow my contact with him is limited now. ;D ;D ;D

dihicks you'll do fine - you have a great way of deciphering the issues and cutting through BS. I spend way too much time on angst before action but I'm learning. It's never supposed to be about "us" vs. "them", it's supposed to be about the kids. But if I had to bet on one, my $ is on dihicks. Ignorance is more workable than beaurocratic 'just say no' agendas.

[brookesmom]

Maybe I should try the "Turd brain" route.

[suzanne86]

I look at the school administrators with a jaudice eye - and from what I've seen and experienced - it's impossible to hold someone who is "ignorant" "accountable" especially when they have tenure. Hence everyone in the district seems to be ignorant all of the time.

[dihicks6]

I wonder if my gs couldn't read, if they would make him stay after school to remediate his reading? Darn, one of those questions "I should've asked".

[Gillian]

My guy is in his last year of middle school (9th) and not doing well. We had a meeting to update his 504. Before the meeting my husband had e-mailed all his teachers for their assessment of him - 7 teachers. 3 replied. He complained of this at the meeting and the psych. said. Oh, tell the Principal he is very insistent that teachers e-mail back in a reasonable time frame. So my husband e-mailed the Principal. You guessed it - we are still waiting for a reply!