Middle School Blues

[LurkNoMore]

I had this mostly typed up earlier today...hit a wrong button & *poof* into cyber-space it went

An update...

I spoke with C's special ed teacher (Mrs. L) last week. She called b/c she was concerned about Spanish. Up until this year, the 6th graders have a taste of both French & Spanish for the 1st marking period (it's not graded) and then they choose a language. This year, they had the kids choose their language at the end of 5th grade & all 4 marking periods will be graded. Anyway, Mrs. L said she had spoken to the Spanish teacher and b/c of this new policy she was wondering if we wanted C to drop it, audit it or take it pass/fail. As we went along on the conversation, she realized she had spoken to the OTHER language teacher that has her other students in the class (hadn't spoken to C's teacher)...strike 1 to make me wary. She said she would talk to C's teacher & get back to me. She also told me that the OT had been in (the same wonderful one that C had worked with last year and over the summer) and gave her some tips, insights into C and fidgets for him for during reading. I mentioned that last year's teacher had put C in his own reading group b/c he was the only one of the bunch reading at or above grade level, and she worked at keeping him challenged. She seemed surprised to hear that (strike 2) and said she had been meaning to call last year's teacher to get more input. I also mentioned to her that our goal is to get C mainstreamed again & that up until last year, he had been in a reg. classroom (she seemed not to know that either).

She called me back today...said she spoke to the Spanish teacher...C's 1st week was really good (when they were doing oral work) but she gave them a quiz last week and C became very anxious. When he came hoem today, I asked him about it and he got really upset (she said the letter of the alphabet in Spanish and the kids had to write what letter it was).. he told me that she didn't grade his and that he did really bad (and was worried that we would be mad at him). Up until now, if you asked him what his favorite subject is...Spanish. I asked him if he still liked it and he said yes.

I called the Social Worker at lunchtime (she is the only carry-over from elem school and we have known her for years). She agreed with me that barring any really bad info from the teacher, he should be in Spanish (and graded for it)...agrees that he will (hopefully) be mainstreamed again in the future and that we want him to have the opportunity to earn a Regent's diploma (those in NY will know what I mean) She will be at the middle school tomorrow and will sit in on (at least part) of his Spanish class to observe him (and get input from the teacher). She was very surprised/annoyed when I told her Mrs. L. hadn't known about C's reading ability & history...she said they had a few transitional meetings, plus she has his file (probably at least 3" thick) and his IEP so she should have known all of this...

I put in a call to the Spanish teacher (my 8th grade daughter also has her for French this year) but haven't heard back from her yet. I want to get her opinion/insight.

It is frustrating because we had a good system in place and now we have started all over again (even though my daughter is in 8th grade, she's not special ed, so it's a whole different experience)...we are also afraid that they are looking at him as his "label" (special ed/ADHD) and not at what he can and should be accomplishing. Mrs. L did thank me for letting her know about C's abilities when we spoke last week (she is expecting more from him and giving him different challenges than the others in the class)

Sorry for the novel...just needed to vent! What would you do in my place? Obviously, I'm not going to make any decision until I hear from the Spanish teacher...

thanks for listening (reading)!

[Mayleng]

lurk, sounds like you better keep a close eye on this Teacher and make sure she does not "hold" C back because of his "label". Also i would let him take Spanish, because he will have to do this in High School if he wants his Regents Diploma. I don't know if your school district is the same as ours here, my son is in 7th grade this year and he will be doing Spanish for 7th and 8th, and if he does well, it goes as a Credit for High School and he will not need to take it in High School to get his Diploma, unless he wanted to do more in high school. This way, if it works the same way, it gives C two yrs in middle school to make it, if he doesn't, he still can do it in high school for the credit. Gives him more chances and more exposure.

[mellowed]

Where I am from the second language the children learn is French. My child has it written into the IEP that French does not have to be taken in order to Graduate.
Mine does have a low IQ and therefore it would not make sense to expect this. It depends on your own childs IQ and learning difficulities, if there are any.

Funny thing of it all is, French was the favourite subject!!! But the teacher was awesome, so that had alot to do with it :-)

[Mayleng]

mellowed, I would seriously check in on whether your child will get a FULL Diploma without the foreign language requirement - every state's requirement is different. In alot of cases, any modification of the curriculum (and this is a modification here not an accomodation), would result in a Certificate of Attendance NOT a Full Diploma that would get a kid into college. The Schools can give different types of diplomas, you have to make sure your kid graduates with one that the colleges will accept. Many parents have found out too late that the diploma their child got because of some modification of curriculum in the IEP is not accepted by the colleges.

[mellowed]

Thanks,

No my child will not get a full Diploma. We already knew that, but we are okay with it.
Having a really low IQ, we don't expect to have a doctor or lawyer picture on our wall come Grad. But we are fine with that as long as we have a happy, safe and loving child. :-)

Thanks for your concern.

PS my child is Fetal Alcohol Spect. Disorder, ADHD, Bipolar, CAPS and Learning Diff.

[Mayleng]

mellowed said:

But we are fine with that as long as we have a happy, safe and loving child. :-)

I am sure with you as the parent, your child will be happy, safe and loving.

[LurkNoMore]

mayleng said:

lurk, sounds like you better keep a close eye on this Teacher and make sure she does not "hold" C back because of his "label". Also i would let him take Spanish, because he will have to do this in High School if he wants his Regents Diploma. I don't know if your school district is the same as ours here, my son is in 7th grade this year and he will be doing Spanish for 7th and 8th, and if he does well, it goes as a Credit for High School and he will not need to take it in High School to get his Diploma, unless he wanted to do more in high school. This way, if it works the same way, it gives C two yrs in middle school to make it, if he doesn't, he still can do it in high school for the credit. Gives him more chances and more exposure.

thanks for the info. Mayleng. That is what the SW told me (3 years total...if he doesn't do it in ms, he'd have to fit it into h.s.)

I heard from the Spanish teacher this morning. She was very nice but not very encouraging. She said she has C sit in the front of the room. During the quiz, he became very anxious...lost his place and started erasing the whole thing. She tried to get him to stop, said he could go back and re-do the part he missed. She said her youngest (just started h.s.) is also special ed...had taken Spanish (with lots of help from Mom) but still had to drop it by 8th gr. b/c it was too much for her. She said he could audit it (no grade) but felt wouldn't his time be better used getting more help in something he is REQUIRED to take. I stayed calm, told her the SW would be checking in and looking in on C today and we would let her know. I mentioned that Spanish is his favorite class...

I'll post back when I hear from the SW...I also want to talk to the p-doc about anxiety...

Just when you think you have things working!!

[Mayleng]

So she wants him not drop it and not get a full diploma??

[LurkNoMore]

mayleng said:

So she wants him not drop it and not get a full diploma??

I didn't get into THAT on the phone with her...she called at about 7:20 am...the kids need to leave the house by 7:30 the latest and C wasn't even dressed yet (so I kept it short)...of course, my cordless phone wasn't charged so I was stuck on the corded phone in the bedroom.

I will call the SW on Monday...according to C, she didn't come to Spanish today (but they weren't in class, they were in the library doing research for a mini project)...

I am getting concerned about the anxiety (now wondering if it IS a side effect of the medicine or if that is a comorbid)...I know that part of the problem is he is still adjusting to middle school, but I also want to make sure that he isn't being coddled b/c of his label.

We don't see the p-doc until the end of October...part of me is glad of that because we should have a better picture of how he is adjusting to m.s. with him being there for 2 full months by then...

The special ed. teacher says he is doing well but I'm not 100% sure of that...

I'll keep you posted...thanks for the encouragement...

[LurkNoMore]

quick update...

Heard from the guidance secretary this morning to schedule a team meeting...not sure if I should be worried (or if this is just standard operating procedure)...the special ed. teacher requested it...Because of Jewish Holidays & 1/2 days for 6th grade conferences, it is scheduled for 10/11 (right after school)!

and that things go well!

[LurkNoMore]

bumping for a quick update...

We had our team meeting...for once, it was a non-meeting...the issues from the start of school (probably mostly due to adjusting to middle school) had taken care of themself. We decided to keep him in Spanish for a grade. The only class (I think) he is having problems in is Band...end of the day, too many kids in percussion = too much downtime & not enough structure. I was ready to pull him out but hubby wants him to stay in (C still enjoys everything except the practicing) because next year in 7th grade C will have the band teacher he REALLY liked from 4th grade (who is a "percussion specialist"). We'll see. C is home from school today...he was sent home Monday and Tuesday due to a headache so I figured we better have him stay home b-4 they send him home again (hubby is off anyway). I think it is sinuses since mine have been killing me. I e-mailed the (special ed) teacher to let her know...this is what she e-mailed back...

Hi there,

I was beginning to worry because poor C was really not feeling well in class. Mrs. B (the band teacher) did come to me and say that he has been having more problems in Band. The OT and I met and said that for a week we would try a book to see if that would keep him in one place in between turns. We realize it is ALOT of down time but we are going to try to start with that for now. In class C has really been "on" and things have been going well. Mrs. W (the Spanish teacher) says he has been doing well and although she might be nervous that he is not paying attention she has learned that he is taking it all in and has been doing fine with the material so I think things are fine there but I will continue to check in with her and keep you informed. I prepared the homework and will have it for you in the office!

I hope C feels better! I was starting to think he was sick of me, hehehe.

Thanks,

Miss L

so I feel better...report cards come home next week

[Mayleng]

Good, it sounds like they are trying to help. Keep an eye on the situation though.

[LurkNoMore]

thanks Mayleng, I will!

I forgot to add that C's teacher from last year (self-contained) called me on Monday. She is now one of the REsource room teachers at his original elementary school. she wanted to know if it was OK to give my name to one of her student's parents (4th grade)...they want to switch him to the other school for self-contained but the parents are resisting it. I told her that is fine, I will share C's story with them...but since it is a parent I don't know, I'm not sure if they will even call me. I was dying to ask her which 4th grade teacher he had (and if it was the one that was horrible with C)!

I'm glad to be onto middle school!

[LurkNoMore]

sorry to bump up such an old thread...but it helps me keep everything in one place & to see any progress being made...

Things have been going fairly well C had a decent 1st quarter...he missed the merit roll by .222 because of his band grade (65) We just got the 5 week reports (mid-semester progress report) and things still look to be OK...he is a little behind in home & careers (he said he scorched his quilt block when he was ironing it and he has to start over...can't picture him ironing...cooking or sewing)...I'll be sending a note into that teacher next week since there's only about 3 weeks left to see how far behind he is and how he can catch up. Spanish teachers comment was that he comes to class unprepared...but he DID finally bring homework home this week & brought home a quiz with a 94 on it!

Before the break, the band teacher called me about his band behavior & seemed to be hinting for us to have him quit...I deferred til after the concert. There are 9 percussionists in band (mostly boys)...band is at the end of the day - and these teacher doesn't (to me) seem that structured and strong to keep them all in control. For the concert, they did 3 songs...C played the triangle for 2 and Tambourine for one (Jangled Bells...a take off on Jingle Bells). He did AWESOME! We were proud of him but more importantly he was proud of himself. (one indication of the type of teacher she is --- during 2 of the 3 songs 2 of the boys had NOTHING to do because they cut a song at the last minute...why didn't she have them also play the triangle or tambourine??? They are both good students so could handle being on stage and not doing anything but...) I sent a note in to school today (cc'd the guidance counselor) to let her know that C would be staying in band & just asking some questions re:practice sheets, bringing the drum back and forth etc). Also, I mentioned again being disappointed about the 65 & him missing out on Merit Roll...and that we are always available to work with her ---need communication etc. She just called me back & was very nice...told me lessons had been cancelled today (but they still have band) because of the crazy week...they were supposed to go back to school Tuesday but had a snowday...then had a 2 hour delay yesterday! Hopefully, things will start going better & he'll get a more appropriate grade...

The other thing C's normal meds are 54 mg. Concerta about 6:30 am, then booster doses of Ritalin 10 mg at 7:15 am & after school. When he's not in school (unless he REALLY needs to do something where he needs to focus) we only give him the Concerta. I haven't given him any of the booster doses since he's been back to school & he seems to be doing really well (in 5th grade we didn't have to add the morning dose back in until late October & the after school one...in November). His main teacher and I communicate by e-mail whenever either of us has a concern. I e-mailed her Wed, because C was really apprehensive/anxious about going back to school & we were afraid something was going on (either socially or with classwork)...she e-mailed me back that he had a GREAT day but she would keep a close eye on him...

His appetite has been better still really thin...but he weighed in at 72 lb at the doctor last week...about 10 lbs more than the last time we checked...I have to look up when that was (maybe the summer)...

Overall, a positve update!

[swmom]

Lurk -

Your "quilt block" story reminded of two other stories I thought you might like to hear.

Each of us has scorched at least one thing in our lifetime. As a high school junior, I scorched my drill team uniform(left a large iron shaped mark right on the backside of the uniform, in plain view)about an hour before we marched during halftime. Not a thing I could do. Had to march in front of about 500 folks. And I was the captain.

Also, a former boss, a very bright, accomplished lady, told me that in home ec class in middle school, she had to make a quilt. She worked on it and worked on it for weeks. It was due the next day and she hadn't quite finished it. She brought it home and laid it out on her bed, while she quickly tried to finish it up. Lo and behold it was finally done. She lifted it up to see how it looked and realized in horror as it tugged in a weird sort of way that she had stitched it to her bedspread.

Glad C is doing well. Hope he realizes that if he was .2 off the merit roll that numbers don't much sometimes, do they?

[Mayleng]

Lurk, thanks for the update. You don't have to apologise for bringing up any old posts. It is a good idea to keep it all together so other people can read the "history" of the post.

I am so glad to hear C is doing well. It is a pity about the band teacher. As long as C is enjoying it, there is no reason to not let him continue. Great on the weight gain too.

[LurkNoMore]

Thanks sw & Mayleng...

swmom...your sewing stories DID make me laugh...thanks. I'm someone who can't sew a straight line with a machine...DD is really good at sewing - my parents bought her a sewing machine for Christmas.

mayleng...we keep plugging away with the teachers...try to educate the ones that need it & truly appreciate the ones that "get" it and go the extra mile for C...

Even the pdoc has commented the last few visits that C was a really hard case and she is happy with his success. She kindly gave dh & I compliments saying that we are good parents that work together to do what's best for C (nice to hear)...I guess she sees too many families that are NOT that way

[dihicks6]

"...C's 1st week was really good (when they were doing oral work"

Forgive me, I'm new here, but I have a child that has ADHD and reading/writing deficits, but verbally/orally he is a whiz! Have you ever thought of having him tested orally instead of on paper?

I am also from NY (western) and when I read that your child will have the opportunity to take Spanish twice in 7th and 8th and have it count for the foreign language requirement, I was excited -- I plan on asking that question at my meeting tomorrow -- thanks for the idea!

Glad to hear things are going better -- it's just a shame that it takes a full-time effort by parents to achieve "things are going well".

[LurkNoMore]

Hi dihicks...sorry I didn't see this sooner. How did your meeting go? Did you get anything resolved for foreign language?

So far things are still going OK...one more week of the marking period & then report cards...C "forgot" to go to band lessons on Friday...since tomorrow the lesson falls during a period when he has the spec. ed. teacher, I'm going to e-mail her to ask if she can remind him when it is time to go. He seems to react well to fines...we told him we would pay him (haven't decided on an amount, but maybe $1) whenever he remembers to go to lessons...if he forgets, he will have to pay us. I hate to use money as a motivator but at this point "whatever works"...so far so good, he came home Tuesday (he had band) with the practice schedule sheet - a copy for home & one for his locker...because he doesn't want to have to pay us for missing a lesson...

I'll keep you posted! to all!

[LurkNoMore]

Latest update...the dreaded report card came home. Most of his grades went down, a few went up. I have come to HATE his band teacher! I thought we had things resolved in January...or at least come to an agreement that we would work together to make sure that band was successful for C. His grade went from a 65 to a 57...I had given her all of our contact numbers plus our e-mail address and she never contacted me. I have a call into the guidance counselor...I am too angry to talk to the band teacher right now...GC said she'd look into it and get back to me b/c she also thought we had resolved stuff. the band teacher's only comment on his 5 week report was "Effort is inconsistent" to me that doesn't translate into...Child is failing.

His grades..
SS 92 ---> 84 (but I know he was late on a project that he worked on with a friend...and the friend lost)
Science 86 ---> 79 (I'll be e-mailing the co-teacher tonight (spec. ed)...the reg ed teacher is going out on maternity leave)
PE 100--->92 we found out last night, that he hasn't been changing for gym & this affects the grade
Spanish 83--->83 we thought at the beginning of the year that this would be his problem teacher/class
Math 87 --->90 a pleasant surprise
Lang Arts 84 --->84 with a comment that effort has improved & written work is improving
Home & Careers 75 but since he didn't do 2 of his sewing projects, I'm not surprised or upset
Reading 84--->84 with a comment of "easily distracted"...this is in the self-contained & since he's the best reader, I think he is just not being challenged (they all seem to be working together)
Band 65 --->57 comments "incomplete assignments, Missed 2 or more lessons, missed signed practice charts"

My letter in January ended with this "We want to work with you to help make C's participation in band as productive as possible. Please feel free to contact us at any time if you have any questions or concerns." and I gave her our home number, both of our work numbers, my cell phone number & our e-mail address...

I'll keep you posted as to what I hear back from the school!

[Mayleng]

Sorry to hear that the band teacher is not co-operating. I am not surprised though because music teachers etc. seem to have problems when the kids don't fit into their idea of discipline. I am not saying all "artistic" teachers are all like that, but most of the ones I have met are into the music and not into the kids so much.

I hope you are able to sort it out.

[LurkNoMore]

thanks Mayleng. I got an e-mail from the special ed teacher last night. Obviously, the band teacher hasn't been talking to her either...from her e-mail...

I am perplexed about the band thing as well. I spoke to Mrs. B (band teacher) and told her that Mr. M (principal). would still give him full band credit if he played his part first and then left to a study hall. Mrs. B seemed fine with this idea among other strategies I gave her to keep C on task. I was not told about this grade until I received a copy of the report cards either. If nothing else his grade is also based on modified curriculum if I am not mistaken so that should be taken into consideration. I will meet with Mrs. C. (OT) tomorrow and straighten things out as soon as possible. I am sure it will be fine and a compromise can be made in C's best interest.

At this point, he still wants to stay in band, so we are trying to do what we can to keep him in there (but not if he is going to fail it). I haven't heard back from the guidance counselor yet...but did hear again from the special ed teacher...he is getting behind in Art (the new "special" for this quarter)...she has them do a "quote of the week" where they have to research the artist and reflect on what it means to their life (definitely different than anything I had to do for an art class) The spec ed teacher has arranged it that she will get the quote each week from the art teacher & e-mail it to me so I can monitor that C is doing it...

I'll keep you posted...

[d]

lurk - I'm glad you wrote that letter and am so glad the sp ed teacher and principal are sorting out music and being proactive with art.

[LurkNoMore]

thanks d...the portion of the letter I posted was actually from the e-mail that the special ed. teacher sent to me....but thanks for reminding me that I should follow up with a letter of my own.

[Mayleng]

Lurk, the thing I can't understand is, so what if his band curriculum is modified, if it is then shouldn't his grade be higher. Is he being penalized for having a modified curriculum for BAND of all things. Aren't things like band, music etc supposed to be something to enjoy and not stress over so much. I wish the band teacher would CHILL OUT. And if he had to go to study hall, it is not his fault, why penalize the child.

I feel our frustration - can you tell?

[LurkNoMore]

Yes, Mayleng...you are correct, as usual. I just heard back from the guidance counselor (she was sent home with pink eye yesterday)...she said she & the special ed. teacher would be talking to the band teacher again. The principal is on board and would like me to call him & update him on the situation (from our point of view). Sounds like they were apalled that she would fail him without giving any communication to the parents (esp. when we noted that we wanted communication & gave them all of our contact numbers & email). His grade will be changed (but she didn't know to what grade yet...that is fine with me but wasn't the main issue that I was upset about...a bonus esp. since I didn't bring it up or have to fight them for it.

Basically, she said he can't be penalized because of his disability...he should be graded on his merit & not against the rest of the class.

I just hope that the band teacher is supportive of C...and doesn't "take things out" on him.

I'll let you know where things stand after I talk to the principal!

[Mayleng]

That is great that the Principal, sped Ed teacher and counselor are all on Cs side. They are correct, and he cannot be penalized because of his disability. That would be discrimination. YOu can sue them, and I guess that is what the Principal is probably thinking.

, keep them on their toes. If the Band teacher takes it out on C, you can sue her personally under 504. So make sure she doesn't take it out on C.

I am glad the school is going to take care of the situation.

[LurkNoMore]

Hi Mayleng...a quick update. I just got off the phone with the principal. He has spoken with the band teacher & wanted to hear "our side." I know that he was covering the district because at one point, when he came up with a suggestion that I didn't immediately respond to...he commented - if you approve.

Bottom line...C will be taking band pass/fail (we're OK with this because it's not an academic subject). He missed a report that he was supposed to turn in last quarter, Mrs. B will accept it late & if he does well, his grade will be changed to a pass. I'll find out when I pick him up what the assignment is...but I do remember him coming home & talking about the band having to write an essay about "what they wanted to get out of band" (or something like that) because they had all behaved badly at a rehearsal. I tried to get him to write it at the time, but he said it would be late & she wouldn't accept it ((I guess I should have followed up at the time)

The OT will go with him to Friday lessons (one period with just percussions) to help redirect him & help him correctly hold him drumsticks.

Someone will go in to Band Rehearsal on Monday & observe C. (this is what I had to give him my verbal approval for)

I expressed my displeasure that not only were we not communicated with (after giving her all of the contact info) but that none of his support staff at school was alerted to any problems...and that the special ed teacher didn't know he failed until she received a copy of his report card.

I also mentioned that 2 of the things that were probably contributing to the problem is that band is the last period of the day & his most un-structured class (I was proud of myself for not ragging on the teacher...and he can read between the lines)

I spoke with hubby...we are going to draft a letter to the band teacher (probably cc guidance & the principal) to outline what we understand will be happening & to let her know (again) that we want to work together & she should come to us with any concerns she is having...

feeling better (for now)!

have a good weekend everyone!

[Mayleng]

Lurk..., You did good. Yes, write that letter and document everything that was said to you by the Principal to the Principal, then write another letter to the band teacher saying this is what the Principal has mentioned and that you and Hubby are happy to work with her, yaddy yadda - you know the drill and cc. Principal and Sped Ed teacher, guidane counselor. I am proud of you too for not ragging on the teacher and probably behaving more like a professional than the Band teacher. I think the Principal realises that they came very close to violating Cs 504. (if they haven't already).

Glad to hear that he will take band whether he passes or fails. This is an enrichment class, they should take it as such. I am glad the OT will be with him on Fridays.