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Post by Gillian on Aug 21, 2005 20:04:30 GMT -5
Well he's had a whole two days of school and already he's dawdling over homework. It's 8:00 p.m. on Sunday evening and he's just started looking at his Biology homework - due tomorrow, of course. God - I want to throttle him. It's not even hard - just look some stuff up in the book. Aaaaugh! I'm not going to make it through another school year  |
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Post by chaknine on Aug 22, 2005 0:07:09 GMT -5
Gillian hang in there!! Have you tried making him do his work on Friday after school and if it is not done ( Check it to make sure) then nothing for the weekend. Be persistent, and maybe after a few weeks he will get the picture.
I am dreading the homework battles myself.
Shelli
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Post by Gillian on Aug 22, 2005 9:43:35 GMT -5
Yes, the Friday idea is, of course, a great idea which we are trying to get across to him. Unfortunately, he is heavily into 'teendom' so any bright ideas we may have are looked on with disdain. We know nothing he knows everything. His 'teen world' is the order of the day and school is not very high on his 'teen list'.
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Post by brazos on Aug 22, 2005 15:56:43 GMT -5
I hate that whole Idea of a kid bringing home too much!
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Post by Gillian on Aug 25, 2005 9:59:44 GMT -5
Homework still a battle and he was late for school today. Aaaaugh! I've about had it with his attitude. He's going to be giving his attitude to some family in Timbukto if he doesn't straighten out soon. I'm ready to stick him in the mail and send him off.
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Post by pattislp on Aug 25, 2005 10:51:14 GMT -5
Hi Gillian, Been where you are...this is what we did... We constructed a positive behavior modification chart...as in FIRST YOU do your job (homework)..... Then you GET your reward that you pick But the kicker is you both settle on the rewards he gets for doing his homework. Then we have the chart on the wall and we put him in charge... when he did x, y, z, homework jobs then he got to get his reward and it worked because he liked the control he had when he checked off his homework on the chart as he did it and saw how close he was to getting his reward. We cut bag on the nagging which improved things considerably. He felt great when he reported to us by showing us his completed "job" and loved it when we said  then he got his reward...  |
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Post by Gillian on Aug 25, 2005 13:17:17 GMT -5
We do have a reward system of sorts. Both boys can earn 'gotchas' (cards) and trade them in for prizes. The more cards the bigger the prize. This is working better with our younger guy than our teen. I've also tried the 'no nagging' idea but I check back many hours later to find (surprise, surprise) nothing has happened. This 'attitude' deal has really grown lately. I can think of various reasons for this - his nemesis at school has moved away, he's stressed about the start of school etc. etc. or perhaps (and more likely) he's just being a 'you know what'.
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Post by Shandawn on Aug 25, 2005 21:27:13 GMT -5
The no nagging idea backfires with my 11 year old DD also. Just like Gillian said, nothing happens. If I'm not constantly checking to make sure shes working, I'll find her drawing a picture instead. Or else she'll just fly through the work, not paying attention & getting things wrong that she KNOWS the answer to. ARRGGHH! School starts here on Monday & I'm dreading homework battles already!
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Post by pattislp on Aug 25, 2005 22:27:17 GMT -5
My son was about 13 when we started the behavior plan...He realized he had to be more responsible..and he liked it because he could see progress. The kicker here is he had to buy into it. Many times with kids in middle school that I work with as a speech pathologist I help them with organizational skills and set up a reward system. It seems to work for them after we have one of our talks...also a little peer pressure doesn't hurt when I had another speech kid come in and chew the speech/ADDer out for needing help with his homework during his speech time....  |
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Post by pattislp on Aug 25, 2005 22:29:06 GMT -5
I would check in with my son about every 30 minutes to make sure he was on task but maybe because he was older he did better with it.
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Post by Gillian on Aug 26, 2005 14:00:30 GMT -5
Shandawn - that is exactly us. Drawing a picture or doing a slap dash job of his homework or doing nothing at all. He has two good friends who both get the homework over and done with asap. When I remind him of this he just rolls his eyes and shakes his head - '...well they're not me'. Grrrrrr!
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Post by Shandawn on Aug 26, 2005 15:55:43 GMT -5
Gillian, I had to laugh.....you reminded me of how when my sister & I were kids we would try to get our parents to let us do something "because ALL our friends" were allowed! Funny how the tables can turn when its something they DONT want to do!
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Post by brazos on Aug 27, 2005 20:07:38 GMT -5
I truly believe in rading backpacks, it is a mandatory search at random. It can be very revealing, no kid is immune and punishment is stiff. I do not tolerate homework at 8, Rainman tried one time this year, it was not pretty. Raid them often and well, very revealing I tell you!
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Post by jwm on Sept 4, 2005 7:12:04 GMT -5
Hi it took me 2 school years to get my kids on a very strict routine as far as homework. They get off the bus, have a snack, get to the homework. Once its done, the night is theres (to an extent of course). I used to give in once in awhile on a nice day but found that when I did that he would try it every day. I dont have to check on my 11 year old as much (he is inattentive adhd). I let him know I will help if he needs it. He doesnt argue at all. He get s the homework done now. I dont know how long it will last this smoothly but for now...  He is in 6th grade this year and what a difference in work load! He had 3 full pages of vocabulary words, find five strategies in a story, and he had to write out stepp by step directions how to get from the bus to his classroom and draw a map out. That was on day 2 of school. He has to write an essay this weekend . He never had homework on weekends before so this is different for him. Still he isnt complaining at all, he just gets it done. He did the essay on Friday afternoon without being asked. He said he didnt want to worry about it later. Like I said hopefully this will last  |
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Post by Gillian on Sept 6, 2005 11:37:52 GMT -5
jwm - I'm green with envy. Although we have just had a 3 day weekend my guy was still up at 10.30 p.m. doing homework (having started on it, oh about 30 minutes earlier!!!).
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Post by jwm on Sept 6, 2005 16:26:57 GMT -5
HI Gillian, Hang in there!! Like I said it didnt happen overnight for us! It is exhausting as a parent to get homework and every thing else in order. I just keep repeating myself over and over and over...  My 7 year old started second grade this year and I am just waiting for the war to begin with him. I do believe this is when my older one started having tons of meltdowns and tears, and the battles. I am sure that I will be crazy within a few weeks  |
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Post by Babs on Sept 22, 2005 22:10:33 GMT -5
My son claims he can't do his math. He explained part of it to me and I got it right off but he refuses to do even that much. He insists he doesn't know how. I talked to his teacher today and she said she would get him to work on it during study hall at school. I hope that works because I can't help him. I must have had it in school and college both but I don't remember it at all. He is only in 5th! How am I going to get him to do it in high school? Aaaargh!
So tonight, his homework is not done and he is getting up an hour early tomorrow to sit in front of it again.
I have tried rewards and taken away everything, including grounding him until its done and he still doesn't want to do it.
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Post by mellowed on Sept 23, 2005 10:09:57 GMT -5
We don't do homework!
It caused way to much stress in our house and for once I got full agreement from everyone involved in my child's life.
School, the doctor and etc., agreed we had enough to do to raise our child. Thank heaven because the 1st 5 years of homework were, well you all know H...
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Post by ohmama on Sept 23, 2005 10:25:29 GMT -5
Mellowed,
I agree with your statement so much. One of my sons (adhd, ocd, anxiety, bipolar) could not be expected to do homework because of the stress it created in our house. Now, he is in virtual school and we adjust his schedule when needed. He is actually doing less but learning more this way. A stress free environment works wonders for learning. For him the regular school setting was too much.
It was awful to have him come home loaded with so much work that I wondered what they did in school. Almost like the teachers were just handing out assignments for the parents to teach at home. Last year his teacher didn't give any homework because he realized what a problem it was for him but he also didn't teach him anything. That's when we decided on the virtual school. So far it's been the answer. We both love it and things are very calm at home. Both him and I are finding out that he is really smart .
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Post by Shandawn on Sept 23, 2005 17:49:14 GMT -5
Ohmama, I was wondering how your son was doing in virtual school. Glad to hear its working for him. We looked into it for dd but decided against it. We may look at it again in the future, but right now shes not self disciplined enough, I know shed be trying to weasel out of turning on her PC so she could watch TV instead! LOL
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Post by ohmama on Sept 23, 2005 20:01:54 GMT -5
The lessons are so cool. Some of them are educational movies from "The adventures of Tim and Moby" on the brainpop.com site that he watches and then takes a quiz on. Also, along with the text books and workbooks he gets plenty of educational work on the computer and is assigned to do research on sites such as World Book and United Streaming that fit with his subjects. You have to remember that my son was always obsessed with computer games but now he doesn't seem to miss them and is learning to use the computer for real work and even liking it  . I hope it stays that way. I was worried at first that he wouldn't be able to pull it off with the discipline it takes but he's really able to do it and it's holding his interest. Of course I'm there with him all the way and that makes a difference. Whoever designed this virtual school really knows what kids like. I hope you get a chance to check it out. I feel spoiled, no stress waiting for that phone call from the school to tell me the latest problem, no early morning rush for him translates to seem like I have a whole new kid. His twin brother still attends regular school and I enjoy spending the mornings eating breakfast with him alone since the virtual boy is still sleeping at 6:30AM. Dealing with just one kid is amazing compared to what it was before. Someone pinch me, I must be dreaming ;D. |
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Post by Shandawn on Sept 23, 2005 20:19:31 GMT -5
That sounds wonderful! I did check it out when we realized we couldn't afford the tuition hike at DDs private school this year. We finally decided to try public school & see how that goes because DD would miss the social aspect if shes at home all day. And of course because she needs a bit more self discipline first. But I kept the virtual school site bookmarked & its a definate option for the future, perhaps for middle school, we'll see. I have to say it sounds REALLY great from your description, thanks!
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Post by ohmama on Sept 24, 2005 11:20:46 GMT -5
I think as long as she is able to get along socially in school that's the way to go. The social interaction is not there in virtual school except once a month for the field trips. I find I'm having to be more active in my association with friends that have kids and we are getting by with that.
For us though the social aspects of school were always the big problem. The bullies made my boy a real target and they tormented him only to watch him freak out so they could laugh. Every single day was awful for him then so there's really nothing lost now by all that harmful "social activity". It's a relief for both of us.
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Post by Shandawn on Sept 24, 2005 16:00:39 GMT -5
Yes, I agree, if the social aspect is a bad experience, then it can only be harming him. How great it must be for him to be able to learn without needing to fear! I'm glad its working out.
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. I hope it stays that way.