Private vs. Public Schools

[swmom]

Are any of your kids in private school? Not necessarily an LD private school, just a private school.

We're going through the admissions process at a regular private school and I'm wondering if we are getting in over our heads academically and especially socially.

I think they are going to offer us a spot. I'm not sure whether we should take it. I was upfront with them about her issues, especially the anxiety, and they didn't seem to have a problem with them unless they were severe and they aren't. She's a rising a 5th grader and while she's had lots of academic success so far, I'm wondering if the combination of harder work, greater expectations and being in a school where they're working about a grade level ahead will be too much for her.

One thing I found very encouraging is that they just had all their middle school teachers go through Mel Levine's Schools Attuned program. And, they will be using Jarvis Clutch: Social Spy as part of the middle school curricula. Wow. Now I'm wondering if they are marketing to middle schoolers with special needs!

Any thoughts on all this would be most appreciated.

[Mayleng]

I think it is worth a shot. Given that they seem pretty forward thinking. But you have to keep an eye out that they actually do what they advertise. Cobyseven (or was it? my memory is not good these days), had to take her child out of the Private School because they were not doing the programs as promised and dhicks also found that the LD school her dd is in has not helped the LD. But given that your dd does not have an LD and that anxiety and social skills are the issue here, this might help.

Good Luck.

[chaknine]

We have had really good luck with B's private school. It was the best thing I ever did. But the classes are smaller at ours, so she gets extra attention. The teacher is very good and takes into comsideration B's problems and tries to work with her. She was having alot of difficulty with math, still is. They put her back a grade just for math so she would have more time. They said some summer or when ever she could catch back up in math if needed. They do algebra early and the kids usually come out a credit ahead in math so she should be fine with out making it up if we feel it is not neccesary.
The kid are watched more at our school and have more social supervison ect...
Shelli

[geewiznit]

We sent DD to private school for middle school because we hated our public middle school. This year she is headed back to public school for high school.

Private school plusses were: small classes, loads of feedback from teachers and good parent/teacher contact (all provided their emails and responded rapidly), a single teacher acting as advisor/liaison for all issues, a guidance counselor very available for handholding when DD was upset.

Negatives were: a very affluent (okay, spoiled), homogeneous student body that wasn't always a good "fit" with DD or our family, a clique-ish group of kids, most of whom had been together since kindergarten, an over-emphasis on getting into college (so absurd in middle school), very strong emphasis on mandatory competitive team sports (hard on a girl who is not athletic) which took lots of after-school time. DD herself would add a last negaive: a very restrictive dress code that was tantamount to a school uniform--she despised having to wear khakis, solid, tucked-in shirts with a belt, leather shoes. I don't think much of uniforms myself, so I sympathized! (The girls still managed to compete with designer handbags, cell phones and jewelry, so what's the point?)

Good luck with your decision.

[notab]

I am moving my second child out of a private Christian school next year. Both of my older two kids (no ADHD or LDs) have attended this school. My little ds would never work out there.

Maybe it is our school, but I have found that if you don't "fit in the box" it doesn't work out too well. That means if you are very smart, or need help, or have any social issues, or are too social - whatever - it is not a great fit. Most of the teachers like the kids to be quiet, well-behaved, able to work on their own, etc. We have encountered a couple of excellent ones, but were not that impressed with most of them.

Don't even get me started on the parents. There are parents who will not even acknowledge you if you are not up there helping all the time or don't know the right people or work outside the home. Seems to be an abundance of clique issues with the adults and the kids. Maybe it is this way in small schools even if they are not private. Maybe it is the administration.

Doesn't sound very Christian, does it? That is the most frustrating part for me.

I would just check it out throughly. Talk with parents of the older kids there. Talk with parents of kids who have left (if you know any).

Good luck,
Cindy

[Shandawn]

I think all private schools are different, you just have to watch & see how it works out. My DD, 11, 5th grade this year, has been in a private, Lutheran school since preschool & we LOVE it!! The staff is willing to try anything I think might help with DD's problem areas. The school is small enough that ALL the teachers know all the students so as she moves up through the grades info on what strategies work with DD moves right up with her & are continued. Also, I have found that since morals & a christian attitude are stressed there, you don't see the cliques & snooty attitudes as much as in a public school. DD has tons of friends and gets extra help from older students & teachers because of the smaller class sizes. With us, we lucked out & found a great private school!

[Mayleng]

The cliques and snooty attitudes of the kids AND the Parents exists in small Catholic Schools as well.

[LaurieL]

Mayleng, I agree with that. The parents are almost worse than the kids. If the kids are left alone they do ok. But get one mother who is the volunteer queen and chair of everything and thinks her kid is the second coming and then you know what breaks out. I actually sometimes wonder who is in charge of the school her or the principle who cowtows (sp) to her.

Another thing if your child needs any special accomadations they may not be able to help since they may not have funds.

[redfaun]

My son is in a private catholic school. It has been a wonderful experience for us. The teachers are loving and always available to talk. We have one grade per class. We love the fact that our son will spend 8 full years with the same students (give or take a student). My husband and I wonder if he would have gotten the same attention (with his ADHD) if we would have been at the public school. I do agree with what LaurieL said about not being able to furnish special accomadations due to budget. That happen to one of the classmates this year (1st grade). The boy had to transfer to a public school due to some LD coupled with ADHD. The parents hope is that they would have their son back in the private school in a year or two. But overall, it has been a great experience for us and we just love the families and staff involved with our school. I only hope that we get this lucky in high school (7 years away 0 thank God).