unfair teachers

[ilovemyboys]

My son has had the same music teacher for 5 years now (k-4th grade). I have always heard complaints about him, but until this year have dismissed them b/c I know my sons behavior is not the best, and I figured my son could put up with 45 minutes once a week.

However, this year he has a wonderful 4th grade teacher who has made me aware that the music teacher is very unfair to my son. She agrees my son is not perfect, but the way he handles him is rediculous. I have to be careful, b/c she is obviously an employee and telling me things in confidence, so I can't really go to the principal and say she told me these things.

However, this year alone, he has screamed at my son for "touching" the music teachers things (as they were leaving the classroom my son was dragging his hand along the wall and stuff), he was punished (lost recess) for blowing his nose too much, lots more to explain. But yesterday his classroom teacher told me that my son was punished for "breathing too loudly" and he was not allowed to use the bathroom. My son finally raised his hand and said "what if you really really have to go" and the teacher said "I don't have to go". What???

The classroom teacher has tried very hard all year to protect my son. For instance, she has reported these things to the principal and she didn't allow him to lose his recess for blowing his nose. This time my son had to write 50 times "I will not breath loudly". I guess by the time he was done he was so mad you could tell by the way he wrote it and scribbled on the paper. The classroom teacher immediately brought it to the principals office and once again complained.

OK - so advise on how to proceed. I obviously need to meet with the principal. Do I have the right to demand another adult in the room at all times? I've been told that my son must have music, and this is the only teacher in the school. Do I threaten to go to the Board of Ed ? Do I threaten legal action if nothing is done? How do I get documentation when its only my sons word vs the teacher, and my son is a known behavior problem?

Btw, the teacher has verified alot of this thru other students, who said the teacher is unfair to my son.

[Mayleng]

My both my sons have/had the same abusive music teacher. But it sounds like yours is much worse. I personally spoke to the teacher, and she laid off my older son (who is not ADHD or LD). But this teacher is "abusive" to all the children, so my children wasn't singled out like yours. Nevertheless, she knows where I stand, and I would not put up with that kind of "shit".

I would write to the principal about the situation
(NOT mentioning that the other teacher spoke to you about it) and mention the abuse - some of the incidences. And then go talk to the principal. Since the classroom teacher has already made complaints to the principal herself, it will make it easier on you to file a formal complaint and this way, you are also helping the classroom teacher. The teacher cannot protect your son, if you don't make some noises. The reason she is telling you is so you can do something about it. Like you said, she is an employee and have to watch what she does.
This may keep the "bully teacher" under control, especially when he knows that others are watching him. Tell the principal that if this singling out of your child does not stop, discipling a child is one thing, abusing is another. Breathing too deeply and being punished for it is ridiculous.

This entire week, I have been hearing of teachers and adults in position abusing our kids, and it makes me sick.

You go and stand up for your child, and document everything. Do not get emotional, state the facts and ask the principal what they are going to do about. Does your child have an IEP?

[ilovemyboys]

He has a 504 for adhd/ts.

Do you think I should give the principal a chance to handle it (since I haven't pursued this officially before) before I file a formal complaint? I was thinking that I will demand another adult in the room at all times. My sons class has at least 2 other paraprofessionals in the classroom at all times, and she can just have 1 stay in the music room(they don't currently). I figure if she says no, I will then file a formal complaint and petition the board of ed for my sons removal from music. It may not work, but the issues will be made very public.

I guess I don't want to get the Principal angry, since she really hasn't had a chance to do anything yet. Or do you think it is important that I do a formal complaint?

btw, I just spoke with another mom in my sons class, and she told me her son told her everything and says that he picks on my son deliberately, so I do have witnesses, the children....

[Mayleng]

You file a complain with the Principal. If your son has a 504 and due to his disabilities he is being picked on by the teacher that is even worse. The fact that he has TS makes it hard for your son to control certain things ie. breathing etc. I would write to the principal and state what has been happening, and you are concerned and you are requesting a meeting with her to discuss the situation and a resolution. Then when you talk to her, you can request a para. But always document, document, document, so you have a paper trail. Then if you don't get resolution, than get the board involved. However, you can mentioned to the Principal that if it is not resolved then you WILL, file a compliant with the Board of Education.

You can also say, that not only have you heard from your son, but other parents have also told you what has been happening via their children, and you have confirmed that the classroom teacher has confirmed that your son has had certain punishment for things like breathing too loudly, etc. etc. Not that the teacher approached you but that when asked by you, she confirmed about the punishments and the so called behavior (blowing his nose, breathing too loudly ) he was being punished for.

[ilovemyboys]

Thanks so much mayleng.

I appreciate your help.