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Post by Gillian on Mar 17, 2005 11:39:47 GMT -5
As you may remember my 9 year old son ODD, anxiety, depression, possible bi-polar was recently moved to a Behavioural class in a new school because he could not function in a regular school setting. All is going well at the new school. He is staying in school, has become used to the new routine, has made a new friend.
Suddenly a spot has opened up at an all day therapeutic classroom (at yet another school). His current teacher thinks he should go there - siting that the therapy part of the classs would be good for him. She is actually a little peeved that we haven't just jumped up and agreed to this. We are not so keen. He is definitely doing better than he was. He's just found a new 'best friend' in the class. It would be yet another school - this would be his fourth elem. school. The 'new' school is not in our area at all. We are set to have a meeting with his teacher and (I hope) his therapy people to talk about this tomorrow. The spot will not be open indefinitely so we have to decide. What would you do? We are also worried that this will send him back to square one on his behaviour in school as we feel sure he will not want to do this. Any thoughts welcome.
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Post by willoweezie on Mar 17, 2005 11:51:41 GMT -5
Gillian,
If it were me, I would say a resounding NO to another change! Why fix something that isn't broken, right? If you are moving in a positive direction in the new school, why make yet another change. S has been in 3 schools in 3 years and I've said enough is enough! It's been very hard on her to leave the friends she has made every year and I think this has made it harder for her to open up to peers.
It wouldn't hurt to talk with the people at the other school for informational purposes, but it seems like things are going better where you are and he should be allowed the chance to continue improvement there.
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Post by mattandchris on Mar 17, 2005 11:54:46 GMT -5
I was wondering how your son was doing. I am glad that things are heading in a positive way. Wow, 4 elementary schools is a lot. This late into the year another change may be hard. You know what is best for him. Sounds like he must like where he is at. I don't know that I would change him, does the other school really offer a lot more? Can you get him into the school at the start of next year if you think he needs it? You have a big choice. What does he think?
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Post by Gillian on Mar 17, 2005 12:09:39 GMT -5
Here's the problem. These spots come up once in a blue moon - so if we want it we have to grab it and grab it quick. Problem 2 - his teacher obviously thinks we are insane for not jumping all over this so it's clearly going to be a battle of wills tomorrow. I'm torn really. Part of me says 'Okay, what if this new class really can make things even better - I should do it'. The other part says - 'How can I move him again? He's already been through enough.' Aaaaugh! My instinct is to say no.
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Post by ohmama on Mar 17, 2005 12:39:39 GMT -5
Gillian,
I hope you will not allow yourself to be pressured into making a quick decision! VISIT THE CLASSROOM! Then call for a meeting to ask all your questions. Request that they hold the space open till you have had reasonable time to make a decision.
Tell them it is not reasonable to jump at such an important decision. You need to investigate. That's what I'm doing. I also was told this spot will not remain open too long. My reply was, 'then what else can you come up with that would fit my childs needs?' I want my childs needs filled not their need to fill a desk. All of a sudden the space could be open till I was ready to look it over and ask questions. I figured there must be $$$ involved to hurry up. Take your time and evaluate things properly, there is too much at stake not to.
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Post by Gillian on Mar 17, 2005 13:56:45 GMT -5
Good reply. Why can't I think of replies like that. I've just thought of someone whose son went to the therapuetic class so I'm going to try and call her and see what she thought of it. Aaaaugh! My week was calmly going by and now I'm running around like a chicken without its head.
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Post by 2pearl on Mar 17, 2005 17:58:16 GMT -5
Hi Gillian, I was wondering about you and your son. I'm glad to hear that he's doing better.
I'm just going to echo the advice everyone else gave. If it were me, I guess I would go and check out the new school as thoroughly as possible, talk to some parents there and just get a sense of it. And then I would go with my gut. Don't let them pressure you and take your time deciding if you can.
Good luck!
2pearl
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Post by swmom on Mar 18, 2005 5:25:42 GMT -5
Gillian -
I'm responding a little late here but for what it's worth...
our dd10 struggles with ADHD, CAPD and anxiety. She does not like change at all. She finds great security in routine, the same faces, the same structure, the same everything, even if it's not the best(which bothers us a lot knowing that she could be in a BETTER environment).
We have often thought of getting her in a better school but have always stopped short of doing it because we know how upsetting that would be for her. What we are realizing now though is that we can make a change if we do it with great care, i.e. ease her into it by getting her very familiar with where she'll be going, the kids she will be with(invite them over before she gets there), the routine she'll have, what will be required of her, the similarities between the old school and the new one, her new teachers(meet with them), etc. You mentioned that your son has found a new best friend. That's huge! Is there a way that he could continue the friendship if he went to the new school? I think that's very important and quite a comfort to him, especially if you decide to send him to the new school.
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Post by Gillian on Mar 18, 2005 10:12:57 GMT -5
Good thought. Yes, the new best friend is a big deal. He really values friendship and that's one of the things that's going to make him say 'NO'. Well, 20 minutes until the meeting. Fingers crossed.
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Post by swmom on Mar 18, 2005 10:20:10 GMT -5
I'll cross my fingers, too. Let us know what happens.
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Post by Gillian on Mar 18, 2005 12:18:08 GMT -5
Okay. Well the meeting went better than I feared. Many different scenarios were put forward (including staying where he is). The plan we finally came up with is that 1. We will visit the new school, meet with the people there etc. 2. Assuming that goes well (we are assuming it will) that we will transition over to the new school. Our son will also visit the school and the therapist from that school will visit him at his present school. It certainly sounds like a good environment for our son at the moment and the other thing that moved us in that direction is that his new 'best friend' at his present school is also going to be moving to a new school soon (although, unfortunately, not the same new school). So it is hoped that they may be able to move on at the same time.
Everybody at the meeting had the same fear that this may send our son back to square one but we are hopeful it would be temporary. We can have extra support ready for him at transition time and hopefully get him over the bump. Our son's regular therapist was at the meeting and he was a big help in bringing up ideas and possible problems for each of the scenarios we came up with. I was really glad he was there. Anyway - we will see how the visit goes and go from there.
Many thanks for all your thoughts. I will update you on the visit - the week after Spring Break.
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Post by swmom on Mar 18, 2005 12:32:15 GMT -5
Sounds good, Gillian. Things seem to be moving in a positive direction.
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Post by Gillian on Mar 31, 2005 13:45:06 GMT -5
Well, this afternoon we go to visit the new school. Needless to say, my son is adamant that he is not going to go to the new school. This is supposedly his last day at his current (also new) school. He's ticked off to put it mildly. What a mess. Although part of me thinks this new (new) school sounds really good - part of me wishes it had never come up. I'm dreading next week.
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Post by LurkNoMore on Mar 31, 2005 14:01:20 GMT -5
good luck, Gillian! Let us know how the visit went. h*g
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Post by mattandchris on Mar 31, 2005 14:13:23 GMT -5
 I hope everything went well on the visit. Hopefully you son was more positive about this school after the visit. Even if he slides backwards a little, you truily will know in your heart what will be best for him. I have to say that I really admire you for your strength through these past difficulty months. h*g
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Post by Gillian on Apr 2, 2005 9:03:10 GMT -5
We have had two visits since my last post. First one was a parent/teacher deal. Really liked the teacher - not as abrasive as the last one. Also met the main therapist who will be working with my son - a young energetic guy who seemed like a lot of fun. So that all went well. Day two was my son visiting the class. I didn't even know if I could get him there but he decided to go 'just to see' - Phew! Anyway, when we got there they had decorated his desk with lots of posters the other children had made welcoming him to class. It was very sweet and although he would not admit it I think he really thought a lot of that. He spent some time in the class and we were given the grand tour. Everyone he met was very welcoming - it was very nicely handled. As we were walking out he said 'That was fun' but then quickly added, lest I forget, 'I still don't see why I have to go there'. So, I think we are over the hump (yeah, I can sleep again) and he will start Monday.
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Post by Mayleng on Apr 2, 2005 11:22:55 GMT -5
gr*upP*rty fcr*ssing gr*upP*rty
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Post by Gillian on Apr 5, 2005 9:42:35 GMT -5
Day two of the new school and he's asked to stay longer (you may remember way back when he would be calling for me to pick him back up by 9:30 a.m.!). So today he's staying until 2:30 p.m. (almost a whole day) - Yahoo! I'm so pleased for him. Hey, I'm so pleased for me y*y
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Post by swmom on Apr 5, 2005 10:54:00 GMT -5
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Post by mattandchris on Apr 5, 2005 11:10:53 GMT -5
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Post by brazos on Apr 5, 2005 12:09:41 GMT -5
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Post by Gillian on Apr 7, 2005 9:18:24 GMT -5
Many thanks for all the cheers. Now, if only I could figure out my 13 year old - Aaaaaaugh!
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Post by mattandchris on Apr 7, 2005 9:54:41 GMT -5
Aren't teenagers fun?!?  |
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I hope everything went well on the visit. Hopefully you son was more positive about this school after the visit. Even if he slides backwards a little, you truily will know in your heart what will be best for him. 
