Post by willoweezie on Jan 4, 2005 10:01:30 GMT -5
Hi all!
I've been absent around here since the holiday rush kicked in, hope everyone had a restful winter break.
Yesterday was the first day back to school & I got a call at 1:30pm from the YMCA (we have half day Mondays in my school district) that S had yelled "shut the h#ll up" on the bus and was being suspended from the YMCA for 3 days b.c. of it. Not just suspended from the bus, but from the afterschool program as well.
Do you all think this is waaay too harsh a punishment for the crime?! I mean, you can hear that out of Bart Simpson's mouth at 6pm on network TV!! (not that S is allowed to watch it at my house, mind you) I don't allow her to say those words of course, but this is the second time she has repeated a string of foul language she claims to have heard in her classroom (the first one was much worse, with the "F" word). She said the bus was noisy and it upset her. She has SI problems so I believe her that the atmosphere was overwhelming for her.
I have addressed this with her the same way I always do... "we (our family) do not say those words, no matter if we hear others say them, they are not allowed in our family whether she is with me or not. She very rarely curses in front of me and if she does it's usually something mild like "oh my g*d". I correct her and make her repeat the appropriate alternative and let it go at that.
For her suspension, which means I have to pick her up at 3pm from school for the next two days (as well as early yesterday) she has lost tv/computer priveleges, I have confiscated most of her XMas presents (to be earned back one day at a time with good behavior at the Y) and she must to constructive/school type work after I pick her up until the regular time I usually pick her up from the Y. She accepted these consequences with not a bat of an eye.
I tried to explain to the director that a) I have no control over what she hears at school & repeats, b) the person who is being punished here is me, not S, c) I thought the punishment was unduly harsh. She says she has an ADHD child and is a single parent too, so she knows what my situation is. She said they have cut S so much slack over the last 2 years that she would have already been expelled by now if they hadn't. S has had a MUCH better year there this year, and I feel like she is holding 2 years worth of transgressions against her, even if things have gone better this year. She said the next time a problem occurs they will think about expelling her from the program.
So, does that sound like a "mom in the same situation" who is sympathetic to my plight??!!?? I suppose her child is a mild case or something... after all, what does the director do when her child acts out? Does she suspend her and leave her job at the Y and take her home? I think not...
I have been on the waiting list for the after school program run by the county, but there are just no openings right now. All this year, I have been under the impression that things were going well, other than 2 incidents; one which led to her not being allowed to ride the bus only, and the other where I had to pick her up early for one day. Now they're saying its almost 3 strikes you're out...
We talked to S's therapist yesterday about it, S agreed with her that she likes the Y and wants to stay, and that she will try to "watch her mouth", but it seems to be an impulse thing, in that she says it before she thinks and then its too late. I suppose I may have to look into other programs, but other than this "supposedly sympathetic" director, the program is good and she has friends and she enjoys it, so I would really like to keep her there.
I'm not sure if I should go over her head (if there is someone above her) to appeal, or if that would make things worse... I felt like telling her to "shut the h#ll up!!" and that is not something I would usually say to anyone!
I've been absent around here since the holiday rush kicked in, hope everyone had a restful winter break.
Yesterday was the first day back to school & I got a call at 1:30pm from the YMCA (we have half day Mondays in my school district) that S had yelled "shut the h#ll up" on the bus and was being suspended from the YMCA for 3 days b.c. of it. Not just suspended from the bus, but from the afterschool program as well.
Do you all think this is waaay too harsh a punishment for the crime?! I mean, you can hear that out of Bart Simpson's mouth at 6pm on network TV!! (not that S is allowed to watch it at my house, mind you) I don't allow her to say those words of course, but this is the second time she has repeated a string of foul language she claims to have heard in her classroom (the first one was much worse, with the "F" word). She said the bus was noisy and it upset her. She has SI problems so I believe her that the atmosphere was overwhelming for her.
I have addressed this with her the same way I always do... "we (our family) do not say those words, no matter if we hear others say them, they are not allowed in our family whether she is with me or not. She very rarely curses in front of me and if she does it's usually something mild like "oh my g*d". I correct her and make her repeat the appropriate alternative and let it go at that.
For her suspension, which means I have to pick her up at 3pm from school for the next two days (as well as early yesterday) she has lost tv/computer priveleges, I have confiscated most of her XMas presents (to be earned back one day at a time with good behavior at the Y) and she must to constructive/school type work after I pick her up until the regular time I usually pick her up from the Y. She accepted these consequences with not a bat of an eye.
I tried to explain to the director that a) I have no control over what she hears at school & repeats, b) the person who is being punished here is me, not S, c) I thought the punishment was unduly harsh. She says she has an ADHD child and is a single parent too, so she knows what my situation is. She said they have cut S so much slack over the last 2 years that she would have already been expelled by now if they hadn't. S has had a MUCH better year there this year, and I feel like she is holding 2 years worth of transgressions against her, even if things have gone better this year. She said the next time a problem occurs they will think about expelling her from the program.
So, does that sound like a "mom in the same situation" who is sympathetic to my plight??!!?? I suppose her child is a mild case or something... after all, what does the director do when her child acts out? Does she suspend her and leave her job at the Y and take her home? I think not...
I have been on the waiting list for the after school program run by the county, but there are just no openings right now. All this year, I have been under the impression that things were going well, other than 2 incidents; one which led to her not being allowed to ride the bus only, and the other where I had to pick her up early for one day. Now they're saying its almost 3 strikes you're out...
We talked to S's therapist yesterday about it, S agreed with her that she likes the Y and wants to stay, and that she will try to "watch her mouth", but it seems to be an impulse thing, in that she says it before she thinks and then its too late. I suppose I may have to look into other programs, but other than this "supposedly sympathetic" director, the program is good and she has friends and she enjoys it, so I would really like to keep her there.
I'm not sure if I should go over her head (if there is someone above her) to appeal, or if that would make things worse... I felt like telling her to "shut the h#ll up!!" and that is not something I would usually say to anyone!