I can't believe this teacher!!!!!!!!!

[helpusnow]

I wrote in a previous post titled I have to talk to a teacher- what would you say? so I'm not going into great detail about how this transpired. I'll just say that our ds got a great report card except for music. I went to see the teacher today and I'm really upset. SHE IS UNBELIEVEABLE! No she will not sign his agenda to make sure he has his class work done, after all he is in grade 7 AND SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO IT HIMSELF. I told her that he was not getting his assignments done in class and was not taking them home because he was afraid the other kids would thing he was stupid ( TYPICAL 12 adhd thinking!) She said he better GET OVER IT!!!! Several other topics were discussed back and forth- some successful , some not. I bent over backwards to accommodate this woman,because I have a daughter, who will enter this school in a few years and wants to be in the BAND. I suggested she call me a few days before his class assignments are due , so I can assure he finishes them at home, if they are not done in class. That wasn't a good idea- I should phone her in two wks. I've never gotten emotional in front of a teacher in my life. I've always been professional and pride myself in being able to work things out even though I may not agree with their teaching technique etc... WELL today instead of getting forceful- which I can BELIEVE ME,I BECAME A LITTLE EMOTIONAL. I think it was 12 yrs of fighting for this kid that finally got to me. WHY does there always seem to be a HURDLE around every other corner. At the end of the meeting I thought I would show her a 2 paragraph assignment he completed on what I am not joyful about. He wrote he was not joyful about music because he didn't think he was going to get a good mark. He said he didn't take his sheets home because he did not want his classmates to think he was stupid. Then he proceded to write strategies on how he could improve his music mark ie get extra help, stay after school, and take home his sheets to complete. I SHOWED THIS TO HER TO SHOW HER THAT HE WASN"T BLAMING ANYONE ELSE FOR THE MARK and I was very impressed with the ideas he had to improve his mark!
WELL , she got very defensive and said its no wonder he is not JOYFUL in Music class and He better get over feeling STUPID. And told me I had to go because there was another parent out There !

[ohmama]

Have you gone to the principal with this yet? Every school year I meet with the principal even before I meet the teachers and touch bases with him on my boy. He is also included in the IEP meetings. I make myself very visible.

When we got a new principal, this year, the old one got promoted to be the district head of special education. I talked to him the other day and requested he attend my teachers conference because I am not pleased with this teacher and he said he will be there. I love this man! The new principal is ok but I wanted to bring in the other one because it is his job to make sure special needs are being addressed and he knows my boy.

When you can, I think you should get your thoughts about this down in writing and visit with the principal in person along with your letter. I can't imagine a school that wouldn't be willing to work with the parents requests and the childs needs.

[Mayleng]

I would talk to the Principal about the situation and if it is not resolved, call an IEP meeting to have the "accomodations", ie check his Agenda etc all the things you want the teacher to do, added into his IEP if it is not in there. If it is in there, then give this Horrible teacher a copy and tell her LEgally she has to do those accomodations. If it didn't impact his overall scores I would say Screw it. let him fail music.

The two music teachers I have had the "pleasure" of meeting were NOT nice. For some reason they think being artistic gives them an excuse to be nasty to parents. Both my kids won't participate in chorus and plays because of these teachers and they are not the only kids who feel that way. My older son takes piano outside of school. I once threatened to take my older son out of music all together.

[eaccae]

Okay, I'm steaming for you!

First off if DS hadn't completed any homework assignments in 10 weeks - as a teacher she should have tried to at least contact you to find out if you were aware he had homework, if there was a problem, etc. On top of that she is getting feedback from all the teachers that show how well he is doing with the assignments and everything else in all of his other classes. As a teacher that should have been a red flag that something was wrong in her class . . .

And at the very least - she should have been more sensitive with you and your son - especially after reading what your son had written!!!! She should have tried to work with you and figure out what she can do to help coax ds to bring his assignments home, etc. But to tell you that he needs to get over feeling stupid? I'm sorry - I would have to go over her head on this one. It is extremely unprofessional and totally inappropriate!

Don't think about that what if's regarding your younger children - cross that bridge if you come to it. I would contact the principal and request a meeting. I would bring up the postitives of what is going on with DS - this is a hard year - a big transition year and he is succeeding so far - this is great! And then discuss what happened between you and the music teacher. Her reaction to you was totally unacceptable! One of the things I wish I had done more of in the "beginning" was call out the teachers when they were being completely unprofessional. I have learned my lesson. I used to worry that if I went over the teacher's head then she would end up taking out on DS. What I learned was even if I didn't mention it to anyone - the teacher already had an issue with DS.

She is a music teacher! I don't care if it is theory or history or whatever - she is supposed to inspire creativity and joy!! (Speaking as a music major I am appalled!!!)

[d]

h*g h*g h*g

I know it gets very tiring sometimes. Here's a Friday afternoon ch*ers

I'm not sure how I'd handle but letter documentation first then go over her head to the principal, something like that.

[helpusnow]

First of all, Thank you Sooooo Much for you support, understanding and outrage! I am very thankful I found this site and I know it will be a life line for many TEEN years to come! I am planning to see the principal Mon or Tues. There was no way I could do that today ,I was much too emotional and raw.I would have been a mess in his office. Funny ,I've never felt that way before! But I must say our ds beginning Junior High has been a very emotional experience for me. And to think of all the hours we worked on assignments etc- it was exhausting, but so worth it and she seemed to just totally DISREGARD everything I was trying to do. I spoke with the Resource Teacher after and she said the Music Teacher does not attend the Grade 7 Progress Meetings. I read b/w the lines and it sounded like she is suppose to( somehow I'm not Surprised ) We are Canadian and IEP's are only used for students who have academic problems. Unfortunately our son does not qualify even though I have to help him get his assignments completed etc...

[angel]

As a (stayathomemom) former teacher, I am once again outraged at what I hear coming from teachers these days. I am sorry that you had to go through that. I am most sorry that your little man wants to succeed and is not being understood. Hang in there!! I have also come to the conclusion that we will have to be their champions all the way through school. Good luck with the principal. Let us know how it goes. If she does not attend her meetings, then she probably thinks she knows everything anyway. ykwim? (NOT!!)

for being a great mommie!!

angel

[helpusnow]

Well I met with the principal this afternoon, and I feel like a GIANT weight has been lifted off my shoulders. He was wonderful and apologized for the bad experience I encountered with the music teacher. He said he would update me by next Thursday on what would be taking place. He also said that she would be attending the grade 7 meetings from now on and she would be signing agendas of students who required it. I expressed my concern that she said she would not contact me if he wasn't doing his class assignments, but I was suppose to contact her the last week before Christmas Break. My point was that already 5wks will have gone by in this term, and he will again be on his way to a 63% or much worse ........(now that she seems to dislike
me- I didn't say that, I just thought it) This wonderful Music Teacher was suppose to give Lesson 12 to our son to re-do, this was discussed before she slammed the filing cabinet door and told me, " HE SHOULD GET OVER IT!" Our son said that she hasn't given him anything. I already know that another student has received this lesson to re-do. @##@#*#*@# After this term I certainly won't be encouraging our son to take music again.............

[dmom32002]

First, its something you need to document with the principal that he still hasn't been given chapter 12
and that it was promised. It can be done in such a way
that you just get the assignment and he gets the message that she is still doing this. It sounds like
she know has a vendatta against your son, and that
he is going to have a hard time.

I wanted to add,

I think your son deserves to be commended for what
he wrote. I would ask that you share the things
with the resource room teacher and the principal.
It shows that he wants to succeed.
donna

[Mayleng]

Write a letter to the principal about the chapter that was promised but has not been given to your son yet, and take this opportunity to confirm you conversation you had with the principal himself. Remember, document, document, document. If there is no documentation - the meeting never happened.

Just write a nice letter thanking him for his time and help in the matter and that you look forward to some resolution to help your son achieve his potential .....

Now that the music teacher knows you will stand up for your son, it is less likely that she will take things out on him in the future. I "faced" my son's music teacher too - did not have to resort to yelling or anything but was very clear that I will not put up with any nonsense, and she was much nicer to my older son after that even praising him for his efforts. It has also filtered down to my younger son (the ADDer) in that she is much nicer in dealing with him.

So don't worry about her taking things out on your son. If she doesn, just shoot another letter to the principal.

[dmom32002]

Yes, you definately need to document your conversation
and thank him. ITs really important.

donna

[augustnyne]

I just wanted to say, WTG working so hard for your son! I can't believe this teacher, It disgusts me that teachers (some) can be so uncaring! I thought the whole purpose of teaching was because of wanting to help children, and make a difference. Well she's making a difference alright! (ugh!!)
My son is in 6th grade again this year, after a horrible year starting 6th grade last year! The teachers he started with last year were so horrible to him, (because he was having difficulty adjusting to middle school) but they just labeled him a 'bad kid', and guess what he became for awhile? He was fighting, bucking authority, etc....the poor kid just gave up, and we're still trying to help him! These teachers just don't realize (or care) how much impact they can have on a child!