Andy
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Post by Andy on Oct 13, 2004 10:50:05 GMT -5
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Post by Dakotah on Oct 13, 2004 11:03:56 GMT -5
Andy you may have a problem here. By law they need to follow his IEP. Look at his IEP and on the last page or so it will tell you his services, who services him and amount of time. Then call the school and ask to speak to Special Educ. You need to find out who is his case manager. This is the person that is incharge of his IEP. We had a problem this year with the ball being dropped and the IEP wasn't being followed. If you don't have a copy and no one will talk to you- go to the school and very nicely ask for a copy of your son's IEP. They should have a copy in his cum. folder right in the office. If they say they don't or can't- very nicely say I am feeling frustrated because I am having a difficult time figuring all this out and I want to speak to someone about it right away. Spec. Educ. should have contacted you by now. Put another call into his teacher and fill her in on your concerns so she doesn't feel like you went right over her head. She may not have a full understanding of your frustration. Also IEP meetings are supposed to have a parent advocate there for free or offer one. This is something that you talk to Special Educ. about. Go to the Spec. Educ. advisor. They will have a copy of Parent Rights. My one big thing is to keep communicating with the teacher. She needs to know how you feel and you look a lot better having said "I did contact the teacher about this" rather than skipping over her. Does this make sense? I am a teacher for what it is worth- but I am a parent first.
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Post by chaknine on Oct 13, 2004 12:31:11 GMT -5
I do not have any advice to add. Get up to the school, sounds like they may of dropped the ball!  |
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Andy
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Posts: 83
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Post by Andy on Oct 13, 2004 13:19:20 GMT -5
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Post by Dakotah on Oct 13, 2004 13:48:22 GMT -5
Oh Andy! This sucks! I am SOOOOOOOOOO glad you have a friend that is looking over the IEP! This will help you a lot! Okay- take a deep breath and decide where you want to start on this. Maybe start with a meeting with his case manager, they staff supporting him, his teacher, the principal and a parent advocate. The purpose of the meeting would be to review his IEP and the goals on it. In order for an IEP to be effective it needs to address the right issues. Is organizational skills a goal? Next does the teacher know you are looking for feedback on a daily basis? Is that what you want? Our policy is no news is good news. We tell the teacher that at the beginning of the year. We tell her that if that is followed the year will go smoothly. We don't do well with surprises- like a conference that informs us that the past month has been from h***. We say if ds has three bad days in a row we want a call. If you want daily- try a notebook that goes back and forth. Andy I am so sorry if I am blah blah blahing you to death. I feel your pain because this sounds like our start to this year. The "magical document" comment would have put me into b**** mode! You need to find SOMEONE on the school staff that can relate to you. If you can get one person's support it will take you far.
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Post by Sharon on Oct 13, 2004 14:20:14 GMT -5
 Way to stick to your guns, Andy! I really feel for you and all of us parents!!  You definitely are not alone and they will make you feel like you are asking for them to move a mountain . . . when all you want is for some help for your child according to the law! I was begging for an IEP at my son's new school. They were dragging their feet. I wanted someone to help him make sure he has written down all of his homework assignments so that I can make sure it all gets done when he comes home. That was our biggest obstacle as he had a different teacher for each class and had a hard time keeping everything organized and difficulty writing down what his assignments were and making sure he had everything he needed to bring home. My DS even got a detention for homework that was not turned in! They too made me feel like my child was the only one! I tried e-mailing each teacher, the counselor and the principal. I even went to school. I did ask them if they wanted me to come to school each day and go to all of the teachers to get the assignments and , of course, they said no and that I shouldn't have to do that. Exactly my point! They should be helping him at school and I help him at home. I decided enough was enough and I was getting no where fast. My son was getting more and more frustrated and falling behind. I am now homeschooling and he is like a new child! He is zooming through his school work and even doing extra work. He is smiling and happy. His self confidence is back up as well as his self esteem!! Lo and behold, I got a phone call from the school this morning, after 3 weeks of homeschool saying . . . they will test my DS!! They will have all of the teachers fill out their report on him . . . finally! They are going to have a meeting with all of the teachers too. Don't know what to make of all of this!? I am going to have him tested and I am going to see what he is assistance he is entitled to. Hang in there Andy! My prayers are with you!  Sharon
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Andy
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Posts: 83
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Post by Andy on Oct 13, 2004 14:48:26 GMT -5
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Post by Dakotah on Oct 13, 2004 15:29:39 GMT -5
Andy I would be so p*****-off right now! How in the world can you help your son if the teacher isn't communicating with you! This is my biggest issue! It isn't okay to have the first feedback on a student six weeks into the school year on some stupid progress report  ! This is what I can't and won't handle! NO SURPRISES! There has to be good communication in order to help students be successful! Isn't it crazy how schools are crying for more parent involvement and here you are trying to be involved. When I was teaching, and basically the reason I left, it was very hard to please all parents. You would be suprised at the number of parents that just throw their child at you and want you to "fix" them. They actually yell at me that it is my responsibility to "control" their child and fix all their issues. Until I am blue in the face- it has to be a team effort! I have known their child for a matter of weeks and I am supposed to fully understand them? I need the parents help understanding what works and what doesn't. It makes me sick that you guys are being rejected by the school. Pushing away the one person who holds the key to their child's success. Well you keep pushing back baby! I will leave you with this short story. Last year of teaching I was teaching Spanish to my students. One parent calls and rips me a new one because I have NO BUSINESS teaching students a second language. He swore at me and YELLED "it is a waste of tax payers money" and he disapproved of it. Honestly another parent called right after him and went on and on about how happy she was I was teaching Spanish because her child was struggling so much and Spanish for whatever reason was easy for her to learn. The mom was basically in tears and thanked me over and over for helping her daughter feel successful. I quit that year. I couldn't do it anymore. Make one parent so angry and another so happy. It was too exhausting. My point? Keep communicating! Don't assume anything! A good tacher will take your lead (although I am not sure you have one). Sharon good luck! I am happy your son is doing so well! I am sorry you had to pull him out of school. That is just plain wrong. |
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Post by Sharon on Oct 13, 2004 15:31:11 GMT -5
 You are so right Andy!  I should have gone to the school's superintendant!! It just seemed like, at the time, I was really frustrated and perhaps not thinking as clearly as I should have been. Couldn't see the forest for the trees!  Perhaps that should be the next move on my agenda! I need to let them know that there is a problem and they can put on a little pressure and see to it that things will be accomplished . . . if they will. Another thing that bothered me at this school is that my son was enrolled in band. He has been in band since 5th grade and plays the drums. He also plays the accoustic guitar and keyboard. He absolutely loves music!! Been good for his self esteem as he is good at it. Well, the percussion teacher said that since he wasn't in this school district last year (we moved here before school started this year), he would be behind and cannot be in his band class!! Yikes!!  Not only that . . . if he is not in band this year . . . he will never be able to be in band for the rest of his high school career!! Never heard of such a thing!! Anyway . . . I think I feel better now that I've unloaded a little! Sorry it had to be you! LOL!
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Post by Sharon on Oct 13, 2004 15:44:02 GMT -5
I second Dakotah's sentiments about the schools wanting parental involvement and, as we try to get involved, we get a door slammed in our face so to speak. I have always been a strong supporter of my children's teachers and I've always told them I am behind them 100%. I just need them to help me to help them. If I don't know what is going on in class . . . then how can I address these issues with my child? If the parents are in the know, they can help their children. If the children are helped, then the teacher can teach with greater ease!  My daughter is in college studying to be a teacher. I've always told her, when she gets frustrated with her brother, that God gave him to her for a brother to help her develop more patience, compassion, and understanding so that perhaps she will be a better teacher. She rolls her eyes at that one, but she will find out in due time. ;D |
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Andy
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Posts: 83
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Post by Andy on Oct 13, 2004 15:58:25 GMT -5
This whole school infurates me! Not being able to be in band because he is behind? Find out what he needs to get ahead!!! Maybe some private lessons. It is a load of B***. I work in the medical profession and we are constantly reminded to do the best we can do for our Customers!!!! That would be the patient. I have no time to do this-understaffed and increased pt loads, but I go out of my way. These teachers get paid way more than I do- and seem like they want to do less. It would come up on my eval at work if I wasn't a team leader-and not get the best raise. I think the schools should be run as a business sometimes. Children first. Get out that pointy hat and see what or who you can talk to about this situation. If you don't like one answer- get it from someone else. Remember that your child gets the benefit! |
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Post by Dakotah on Oct 13, 2004 16:37:32 GMT -5
These teachers get paid way more than I do- and seem like they want to do less. Ouch- that one hurt. I have to say I know very few teachers like that. But I know they are around. |
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Post by mrsheartbuzz on Oct 13, 2004 18:52:16 GMT -5
This topic here is dear to my heart.
I spent the first 3 weeks of school advocating for a larger classroom for the resource kids along with fighting with his teachers over following the IEP for another 3 weeks more!!!!!!!! The principal at my son's school received a long e-mail about one of the teachers my son had who refused to follow my son's plan. She is new to the school(and country-from Great Britain) but not new to teaching. We had a 2-1/2 hour IEP meeting, spelling out EVERYTHING very clearly. I had a page of 21 points to make on it. Amazingly, after the IEP, his grades improved dramatically. She even sought me out to tell me how well he was doing. You have to advocate, advocate , advocate!!!! Did you know you can bring anyone you like to an IEP meeting? Bring in another parent who has fought this fight also. If you have to, bring a doctor,therapist etc... Bring the grandparents!!! If you don't advocate, no one else will!!!!
My e-mail campaign worked(I also sent the e-mail to the superintendant of our county schools) If it didn't, I was going to wage a SIT-IN in the office. And remember this, the IEP is a legal document that they must follow. Otherwise, you call for due process and sue them. They do not want that!!The schools don't like trouble makers . Fortuneately, I don't need to be liked.
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Post by Sharon on Oct 13, 2004 19:01:49 GMT -5
 Wow Mrsheartbuzz! You've inspired me to fight harder!! Geez! I bet when they see you comin' . . . they stand at ATTENTION!! Whew! You go girl!! Thanks so much!! Sharon
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Post by Sharon on Oct 13, 2004 19:18:30 GMT -5
Andy -
The reason the band teacher said he could not be in this class is because he was not in this school system in 7th grade and missed all of the songs they learned the whole year. I told them that he is a quick learner and has a great ear for music and loves it. My point to them was, if you transfer here from any other school, that means you cannot play in band? Apparently that is so.
You know what?
I should have gone to the super about this too!! Shame on me!! :-/
I have really let my son down as far as school goes. Why didn't I keep on fighting? He has the right to a full education!
But geez . . . he loves being homeschooled though! He is learning so much more now than when he was in school, as far as the education goes. He's doing double the work and is acing it big time.
Regardless, I should talk with the super and let them know what happened and how I was not satisfied with how things were handled and why I am homeschooling.
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Post by Dakotah on Oct 13, 2004 20:01:40 GMT -5
I have really let my son down as far as school goes. Why didn't I keep on fighting? He has the right to a full education! But geez . . . he loves being homeschooled though! He is learning so much more now than when he was in school, as far as the education goes. He's doing double the work and is acing it big time. Regardless, I should talk with the super and let them know what happened and how I was not satisfied with how things were handled and why I am homeschooling. You have not let your son down! You did the best thing you could for him at the time. He is not being hurt by being homeschooled. You can see how well he is doing. Remember that! You are an advocate for your son and from the sounds of it a pretty damn good one at that! Talk to the super. If people don't speak up then no one fully understands what is happening. That band situation is not right. I would fight that one. In theory homeschooled kids have all the same rights as public school kids. At our school homeschooled kids come in for band, choir, art and PE. I think that one, if brought to the attention of the right person, would be changed. Mrsheartbuzz |
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Post by Sharon on Oct 14, 2004 9:07:35 GMT -5
Dakotah! I will check into that! I appreciate your input. I had no idea that homeschoolers can still use services at school?! I always have to find out things the hard way! God bless, Sharon
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Andy
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Posts: 83
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Post by Andy on Oct 14, 2004 12:46:47 GMT -5
;D :-[Went to my girlfriends house last night(she is a special ed teacher) and she reviewed my IEP. THANK GOD I did!!! This meeting is tomorrow. They have my son classified a emotionally disturbed >:(Gotta gat that changed. We started putting it together in May of last year. On the document it stated in (Sept) long gone, there was to be a behavior plan implemented. Nothing. No feedback from the teacher at all. I'm wamming them tomorrow and it is going to be a long meeting. I'm getting an advocate also. The IEP looked more like a pitiful 504. The case worker is not on the ball. I called for this meeting!!!!!! Hello! I don't have a degree in this stuff. I feel it is my part time job. The teacher is also helping him organize his homework now- after 2 notes- none of which I got a response to.
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Post by Sharon on Oct 14, 2004 14:35:02 GMT -5
Gosh Andy! It seems like all of us parents have our plates sooo full at home trying to stay abreast of things with our children . . . and then . . . not only that . . . we also have to fight the schools too! Do you ever get the feeling that the teachers and staff think that maybe they'll wait and see how tough this parent is before we have to go through all of the hassel of worrying about implementing accommodations for this kid. Just a thought . . . it sure seems that way. It's a good thing your girlfriend knows what you need to do to get things done! What doesn she think about what parents are saying on these forums about all of their struggles? I am curious about her views on this. Good luck at your meeting tomorrow! Do tell us how it goes! Sharon |
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Andy
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Post by Andy on Oct 15, 2004 9:01:22 GMT -5
;D Had all the paperwork together last night and even went to an IEP/Transitioning meeting held by a lawyer free of charge at a local library. Ready for the meeting today........ Got a call at 7am. Meeting for 8:15am. Case worker had illness in family. Rescheduled for Monday. Principal(who is my corner, wonderful lady) stated that they met on Thursday(whole team) to brainstorm to help "A". This made me feel good because I have alot of material for them to revise. The teacher is still sending confusing homework home- ex; for spelling words(15 of them) she writes, List 3, write synonoms. I asked him do you write 3 syn for each word? I don't know. "A" has short term memory at times. He wrote three for one word. Seems the other children in the class didn't understand either. What the homework ended up being was write ONE syn for Each of the 15 words. No wonder "A' gets confused. I'm confused. And to expect him to rememder at the end of the day?  ? |
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Post by dmom32002 on Oct 17, 2004 19:22:05 GMT -5
You have good advice did you locate a advocate.
If not after the meeting, and don't sign a thing
until you have taken it home and had your friend
look at it please. Unless a advocate you trust
is there.
I'm a advocate in Indiana, I have a list of all the
states and would be glad to help you locate
one. But I'm just new to this site and starting
to learn it.
So email me at dmom32002@yahoo.com
and give me your state, please anyone can
do this and state in title,
Need a advocate.
donna
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Andy
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Posts: 83
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Post by Andy on Oct 18, 2004 11:39:25 GMT -5
:DThanks Dmom. will be e-mailing you. Met w/everyone today ,IEP andhad to rewrite the entire plan. The social worker stated that his ocd and tics aren't getting better. I made an appt for a peds neuro to see him. I feel so fustrated, I thought he was doing soo mucha better. At least at home he is. Opted to put him in resource room for 3 subjects. He doesn't need it for bad grades- he gets A& B's. He just needs the extra attention. His teacher had NO imput- just the Principal spoke. I think they all met together last week and brainstormed. About the independent reading letter I got from the teacher stating he didn't do the assignment- Well I confronted her about this and THE SIMPLE ANSWER TO THE PROBLEM WAS FOR ME TO INITIAL THE ASSIGNMENT BOOK! Why didn't she just write this down on the nightly assignment book!!!?? She was to be making sure that all the homework was written down. She doesn't want to deal w/me. She states that "A" gets defiant when you touch his books. He is obsessive compulsive Dum****. Redirect him. I came home and cried and one again felt defeated. Why am I not getting any communication as to how he is doing (behavior wise) in school. Then the Case manager is telling me that maybe many of his "behaviors" can't be changed. Basically they were telling me to give up. Behaviors CAN BE CHANGED. It is called therapy. I need an advocate |
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Post by dmom32002 on Oct 18, 2004 11:51:51 GMT -5
I'm so sorry it went so Bad Andy.
I am going to make a suggestion from now
on if you can't take a advocate take a friend
along, and also take a tape recorder to tape
the meeting. In Indiana its against the
law to write the IEP or meeting notes before
the meeting. I think its a federal law though
so its not something they should have done.
Now about the tics and things returning,
I think the ped neurologist is a great idea.
If you need help that way ask too. I know
a little about ped neurologist.
I would be glad to help you brainstorm
all you need, send you the name of the
advocacy group. ANd just send hugs.
I also believe with this kind of teacher
the resource room maybe the best place
till you get this straightened out.
donna
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Post by Dakotah on Oct 19, 2004 10:10:08 GMT -5
Donna- are you saying that the SE staff can't come to an IEP meeting with the IEP already done? At our meetings the IEP is done and we discuss it. We change things and then they rewrite it and send us a copy to sign. Is this the wrong way to do it? It is very interesting having you around  Thanks! |
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Post by dmom32002 on Oct 19, 2004 10:39:48 GMT -5
I'm saying it can't be finished. They can't present it saying this is the final copy. If you don't like it they have to work through it again. In our case the only
thing prewritten in a IEP, is the goals and objectives
the teacher has for math, reading, and spelling usually.
Oh and they do a page for study skills. Like this.
Derrick will bring books and supplies to class 100% of
the time.
Derrick will be on time 100% of the time.
THis is something he can do, since he has a aide, so
I don't say anything about these.
Also the goals for reading would be Derrick will start at
2.1 and be at 3.1 by the end of the year.
The spelling close to the same.
We go through and they write what everyone says, if I have anything I want worked on its added. Usually
though its ready when I leave. They wrote it while
I was there.
donna
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Post by Dakotah on Oct 19, 2004 11:33:23 GMT -5
I gotcha Donna! Thanks again!
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Am getting no feedback from the teacher on a daily basis. Called the case manager (who also is the school Psych) to let her know about these "issues" . She stated, "The IEP is not a "Magical Document". I almost flipped out!!!!! It is if you follow it!!!!!!!!!!! My girlfriend is a Spec ed teacher and she is looking over the IEP tonight. Watch out School!!! The B**** is back in town!!! He should have had the alphasmart computer last year. He starts middle school next year. Am I the only one with these problems? They act like it!
Way to stick to your guns, Andy! 
;D 
I should have gone to the school's superintendant!! It just seemed like, at the time, I was really frustrated and perhaps not thinking as clearly as I should have been. 
Thanks!