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Post by 2pearl on Sept 29, 2004 21:30:18 GMT -5
Hi. My ADHD,ODD, never been treated until now son is in the fourth grade this year. We're beginning individual/group therapy next week and will be starting him on medication(don't know what yet) in late October. I got the first call of the year from his teacher today. He's not been listening and never raises his hand before he speaks not to mention the fact that his organizational skills are non-existent. Anyway, I'm meeting with her Friday morning. BTW, this is her first year teaching. I'm planning to tell her exactly what I've just said here. To me it seems obvious that she needs to know whats going on with him and I will definately need her feedback and input after he starts the meds. But still, my red flags are up over it. I'm wondering what advice you all can give me in terms of what to tell the teacher and what I can reasonably expect from her.
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Post by d on Sept 29, 2004 21:48:39 GMT -5
1) You've got fear of the unknown. Some of your fears may go away just by meeting her and getting to know her.
2) Tell her he is having some issues that you are getting addressed but that may take some time - it won't be immediate.
3) Talk about the issues first, the labels later in the conversation. As in he has had some attentional and defiance problems - then describe how it affects him in class.
4) Ask for her help. Offer help by telling her what has worked for him in the past. Let her know that your son has your full support on the homefront.
5) Make sure she knows that you will need her observations when he starts meds - you do not want her micromanagine like calling you for every little thing or playing unethical teacher/doctor but you will absolutely need her considered observations.
6) Can't comment a lot on ODD other than I know it is a major handful but stress that praise and positive reinforcement works not just for all kids but is CRITICAL for you ADHD ds. See how she reacts to that one.
My sis swears by new teachers. She said the year my Asperger's nephew had a new teacher was the breakthrough year for him and he's been on a good path since. I've heard other parents say something similar. I don't know. My younger (non-ADHDer) had the new teacher from hell last year. This year she has a new teacher but the woman seems bright, compassionate and is instinctive about the kids so I think it'll be just fine.
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Post by 2pearl on Sept 29, 2004 21:54:58 GMT -5
Thanks d, that was exactly what I need to hear! I think whats scaring me is that I really have to trust this woman, whom I don't know, not to know misuse the information that I'm going to give her. I'll let you know how it goes.
2pearl
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Post by rocco on Sept 29, 2004 22:09:47 GMT -5
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Post by d on Sept 29, 2004 22:22:01 GMT -5
One of the scariest things for control freak me was realizing that I/we were not going to be able to raise our dd without outside help so I can relate.
And yes it is a trust thing - you are entrusting your precious son in her care. If you didn't tell her, you/your ds would be in the same, most likely worse position than you are now. So to me there is no risk.
How she interprets & acts on the praise, positive reinforcement will be very telling. Her reaction will indicate whether she "gets it" or not. Also, she needs to have is a vested interest in helping kids not textbook knowledge of this stuff. If she is receptive you are in.
If she doesn't "get it", outing your ds's situation is a good thing anyway. B/c then you use the information you've shared to PROTECT him but that is worst case scenario.
In all likelihood, since she is new to this she is just doing her job by alerting you of undesirable classroom behavior and is willing to meet with you. So take those as positive signs until you get to know her better.
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Post by eaccae on Sept 29, 2004 23:09:18 GMT -5
The best teachers DS has ever had have both been new teachers!
Meeting with her will definitely help in and of itself. Personally - I have always been completely upfront and honest with the teachers. I feel that if I expect the teachers to help DS to the best of their abilities I have to give them all the information to work with. I have not had one negative experience from this. I have had a terrible teacher - but it had nothing to do with her knowing DS was adhd - she was just a terrible teacher. If the teacher chooses to use the info in a negative way then you call her on it! Chances are that if she was to do that - he would already be labled as something else negative. Plus - you will definitely need the teachers imput when you start medication. You will have to let her know soon anyway.
Hopefully you will find that she will be very receptive to what is going on. I have definitely found that with the two first time teachers DS had - they were extremely receptive and the very best teachers!!
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Post by 2pearl on Oct 1, 2004 12:06:42 GMT -5
I met with the teacher this morning and I think it went very well. First off she couldn't emphasize enough that she actually "likes" my son. Her concerns were mainly about his constantly interrupting the class and that he's not turning in assignments because he's so disorganized. When I told her that we're going to try medication/therapy for his ADHD she told me that her sister has ADD and takes meds! So overall, I feel great about how it went today. We're off on the right foot.
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Post by d on Oct 1, 2004 18:30:34 GMT -5
I met with the teacher this morning and I think it went very well. First off she couldn't emphasize enough that she actually "likes" my son. Her concerns were mainly about his constantly interrupting the class and that he's not turning in assignments because he's so disorganized. When I told her that we're going to try medication/therapy for his ADHD she told me that her sister has ADD and takes meds! So overall, I feel great about how it went today. We're off on the right foot. Good - what a relief. Just make sure she knows *positive* reinforcement works and it is used. What were her suggestions for interrupting and not turning in assignments? Given the relief I feel yours must be 1000% greater. Phew! fr*ntcl*pp g**dj*b |
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Post by 2pearl on Oct 2, 2004 19:55:57 GMT -5
Well she sent me home with a bunch of assignments that he has not completed. So she is giving him a chance to keep caught up while we figure things out.
She's going to sign his agenda every day before he leaves and make sure he's written everything down.
His teacher from last year (who was a godsend for him) attended the last part of the meeting and pointed out that where he's seated is really not good at all. They have two rows of 4 desks each facing each other, it looks like a dinner table. He's right in the middle. Last year's teacher said he needs to be in front facing her, that really no kids should have to turn their bodies to have to see the teacher. New teacher was very receptive to this advice. We'll see if she moves the desks around.
You know as far as being relieved, I haven't exhaled since this child was born! I wonder if I'll ever just be able to relax and feel relief. I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just he keeps me in a constant state of high alert!
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Post by Mayleng on Oct 3, 2004 8:50:41 GMT -5
You know as far as being relieved, I haven't exhaled since this child was born! I wonder if I'll ever just be able to relax and feel relief. I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just he keeps me in a constant state of high alert! 2pearl, I don't think that feeling ever goes away whether the kids have LDs or not. I am that way with both kids. I am going in for surgery soon, and what do I worry about more - The KIDS |
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Post by 2pearl on Oct 9, 2004 19:20:29 GMT -5
Hi Mayleng,
I hope your surgery is a success. I know just how you feel though about worrying more about the kids than yourself. It's a catch 22 though, we have to worry about ourselves so we can be our best for them.
Good luck!
2pearl
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Post by chaknine on Oct 9, 2004 20:07:28 GMT -5
Maylengs surg. went fine!!! She will be back before we know it!!
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