how do I make the teacher understand?

[whootiewho]

My adhd son is in third grade, his teacher called my place of employment Tuesday morning at 8:05, I dont go to work until 9:00, so my boss called me at home to let me know- thinking it was an emergency- so I called the school to find out what was wrong, in a panic, when the teacher got on the phone she just said that Elijah had not taken his speeling words home Monday night and she felt he needed to be held accountable so she was making him call me, Now he and I had already went through this discussion the night before because I always check his bag for his words, but when he told her I knew she would not believe him. I know responsibility is a big thing but knowing he is adhd why cant she give a gentle reminder like, Eli do you have your words? My husband was really ticked, do you feel our kids should be given a little slack? HELP

[Mayleng]

I think the kids should be made acountable ADHD or not, but I think the teacher over-reacted and should not be calling over things like this. She could have sent you a note etc. I also think the teacher should work out some system to help him remember to bring work home etc. Telling him he has to remember is not going to help him, she should remind him or the entire class. But some teachers rather blame the child instead of accomodating and teaching them compensating skills.

My son is lucky this year that his Gen Ed teacher was a Special Ed teacher for many years so he understands their issues, and how to help them. He does not lower the standards or expectations but he makes it easier for them to remember to do work. He teaches them strategies. He looks at their IEPs and accomodate accordingly. He knows my son has APD besides ADD, so he always ask my son if he understands the instructions and make sure he does. Just this accomodation helps alot.

Maybe you can talk to the teacher to see if she is aware of what adhd is and what strategies to use to help your son. I wrote my son's teacher a 3 page letter describing him, his issues and what works. I have to say my son's teacher has implemented all the suggestions and recommendations.

[d]

whootiewho said:

1) so my boss called me at home to let me know- thinking it was an emergency- so I called the school to find out what was wrong, in a panic,

2) when the teacher got on the phone she just said that Elijah had not taken his speeling words home Monday night and she felt he needed to be held accountable so she was making him call me

3) when he told her I knew she would not believe him.

4) My husband was really ticked

5) do you feel our kids should be given a little slack? HELP

1) The teacher overreacted not you. She mishandled this.
2) Yeah all kids need to be held accountable ADHD or not
3) So her assumption is all her students lie? Did she apologize to your son?
4) ITA with your husband
5) Slack no. Infinite patience, creativity and flexibility, pick & choose your battles, help not hurt, solutions not complaints, praise not punish ALL YES

Have you talked to her about how his ADHD affects him in school? If so, there are a bunch of ways to help him and unfortunately it doesn't sound like this teacher gets that.

[chaknine]

I would definitely have a sit down with the teacher and discuss this. I would tell her nicely how you feel things should be handled and what you expect.

[Dakotah]

"But some teachers rather blame the child instead of accomodating and teaching them compensating skills."

I think this is key. So many times ADHD kids are "punished" beyond frustration for both the child and parent and teacher. At some point the light needs to come on and a realization needs to be made that it is more than misbehavior. Accomodations are so important. Like putting a sign on the inside of his desk that says "spelling words home". Hang in there and set up a meeting with the teacher to go over things. She needs to know how you feel.

[eaccae]

I think this is key. So many times ADHD kids are "punished" beyond frustration for both the child and parent and teacher. At some point the light needs to come on and a realization needs to be made that it is more than misbehavior. Accomodations are so important. Like putting a sign on the inside of his desk that says "spelling words home". Hang in there and set up a meeting with the teacher to go over things. She needs to know how you feel.

Bullseye! I have been fighting for 4 years for accomodations. It has always been the same thing every year - DS needs to be accountable and independent. I would talk until I was blue in the face - he NEEDS accomodations - it is frusterating and sometimes I actually thought I was going insane!! I would be getting phone calls and notes up the wazooo but when we went into the PPT meetings it was the same old thing - he scored way too high on his IQ tests and subtests and he needs to learn to be more independent. Well - high IQ or not - he STILL has ADHD, dysgraphia and executive dysfunction (it's not going away people). Hmmm he needs to become more independent . . . well yes I agree - in time - but we are talking about k, 1st, 2nd, 3rd - he NEEDED accomodations!! Finally we have one for 4th - things like extra time on writing assignments, his planner being signed every night that he actually wrote his homework assignments down (gee, I've been fighting for this one since 2nd) with the hope that by the end of the year he will do it automatically, reminders that if he *says* he forgot something to simply say - go check your backpack again (a whole 2 second statement - why that was sooooo hard last year I have no idea) because whatever it is that he *thinks* is missing is 100% of the time IN his backpack!!!

Anyway - I would sit down with the teacher as well and try, again, to explain how adhd works and that often with things like remembering spelling words - they need that extra reminder!! The note on the desk is a good idea - SOMETHING!!!