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Sept 3, 2004 7:27:11 GMT -5
Post by Brenda on Sept 3, 2004 7:27:11 GMT -5
Brandon started 4K 2 weeks ago.He liked it the first week.Last friday they had a fire drill and it scared him.He cried everyday this week not wanting to go.This morning her cried so bad that he threw up in the car.His teacher had his change of clothes and told me to leave him cyring and he would stop.She said I have to show him that he didn't "win".I did but after I got to the car I went back in and got them to send someone to check on him.(I did't want him to see me).They said he was fine but I feel bad for leaving him.Maybe I should just take him out until next year.His birthday(Aug 31) is right at the cutoff(Sept 2) and he is the youngest and smallest one in his class.He doesn't have to go by law,it's just to prepare him for all day kindergarten next year.Why would he be fine for the first week and now not want to go?It's been a week since the fire alarm so he should have gotten over it by now.Is he not ready to go emotionally?
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Sept 3, 2004 8:16:41 GMT -5
Post by Dakotah on Sept 3, 2004 8:16:41 GMT -5
Brenda follow your gut and heart. You know your son. You know what he can and cannot handle. I would think about keeping him in some type of program this year. Going into all day kindergarten without any structured classroom background could be a lot harder than letting him cry it out for a few weeks at 4k. We actually held our ADHDer back mainly because he wasn't emotionally ready. We always had him in some program. That was a very hard decision. I wonder about the "win" comment however. Does your son typically "win" in battles with you? (it just kind of bugged me) I totally understand why the teacher said what she said. The old saying "you give them an inch and they take a mile". I guess what I am trying to say is the mother in you has to decide if Brandon is truely not ready or if he needs just a bit more time to adjust at 4k. Also one thing to remember- if he doesn't want to go, that should tell you something about his maturity level. He is young. For my "mama's boy" son- he needed to be separated from me. I needed to let him go- even though he didn't want to. Good luck Brenda.
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Sept 3, 2004 8:18:29 GMT -5
Post by Mayleng on Sept 3, 2004 8:18:29 GMT -5
Brenda, my kids 9 and 11, are both scared of the alarm in the fire drills. IT bugs them alot and my older one until last year hated going to school because they never know when the alarm is going to go off. My younger one had the same reaction. So it is not a maturity thing. I think it is the fear of anticipation, of not knowing when the alarm is going to go off. Both of my kids have sensitive hearing too. For a 4 yr old, this can be quite scary. The same thing will happen in Kindergarten. I would sit him down and explain to him why the drills are necessary and why it has to be so loud. That it is just a drill and NOT a real fire. That there is nothing for him to fear except that it is very loud and Irritating.
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Sept 3, 2004 8:22:30 GMT -5
Post by Mayleng on Sept 3, 2004 8:22:30 GMT -5
PS, I didn't like the WIN comment too. It is not a matter of winning when a child is scared. The teacher should have taken the lead to reassure him, and make him feel safe with her. But Dakotah is right, sometimes you have to let go and let him grow up. Did you tell the teacher he was scared of the Fire Drills?
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4K
Sept 3, 2004 8:38:28 GMT -5
Post by Brenda on Sept 3, 2004 8:38:28 GMT -5
Mayleng,I just figured out yesterday that the fire drill is what scared him.I went in and told the teacher.She said she talked to them before the drill to try to prepare them but they were still scared.She said one little boy was so scared he ran off and they had to go catch him.I wish they would wait until 4k went home before they do the drill but I guess they need to learn too. He is the type to throw up when he gets upset and I do give in sometimes.What the teacher said made sense because he would have thought he got his way.And Steph complains alot in the morning about going and makes up excuses not to go(headache,sore throat,tummyache).If she thought throwing up lets you stay home I'm sure she'd try it. Dakota,it is so hard leaving him but I know it is what's best.He is still a baby to me but I need to let him grow up.I hope it gets better. The first day he started crying I was not prepared to go in.I was going to drop them off but he would not get out of the car.I had to park and take him in and I did't brush my teeth or have a bra on .I kept my arms crossed and didn't get close to anyone .I usually don't have to get out of the car so I don't get dressed up.This morning before we left the house Steph asked if I had my bra on. ;D
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Sept 3, 2004 12:28:04 GMT -5
Post by Brenda on Sept 3, 2004 12:28:04 GMT -5
I picked him up at 10:30 and he said he had fun.The teacher said he quit crying after I left.I think he is getting tired of waking up early and worried about another alarm.He covers his ears when he flushes the toilet.I think he has some of Stephanie's sensory problems.I'm not a morning person and I don't think he is either.I'm going to give it a couple more weeks and see how it goes.Thanks Dakota and Mayleng.
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Sept 3, 2004 14:01:48 GMT -5
Post by Dakotah on Sept 3, 2004 14:01:48 GMT -5
I am happy today went better for Brandon .
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Sept 4, 2004 10:41:38 GMT -5
Post by chaknine on Sept 4, 2004 10:41:38 GMT -5
Brenda give him a little more time, he may surprise you!
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Sept 7, 2004 7:40:09 GMT -5
Post by Brenda on Sept 7, 2004 7:40:09 GMT -5
Brandon cried again this morning.He actually punched me in the nose when I got him out of the car. We are getting some heavy rain and are under a tornado watch.His teacher said they may have a tornado alarm.If they do it will be even harder to get him to go. I'm thinking he could have SI Dysfunction too.He is the opposite of Steph.He will not eat many foods.He hates mushy or sticky foods.He will not eat suckers or popsicles because he gets his hands dirty.He hates loud noises.He hates certain movements.Will not ride rides at the fair.He doesn't like to be rough housed or swung around.He hates shoes and socks.He's always pulling his pants legs down and pulling his underwear away from his stomach.He is kind of a sissy.He screams when he sees a little ant and cries more than usual when he's sick or gets hurt.Is it possible to have two kids with SI Dysfunction, but one hyposensitive and the other hypersensitive?
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Sept 7, 2004 7:46:41 GMT -5
Post by Mayleng on Sept 7, 2004 7:46:41 GMT -5
Totally possible. You should have him evaluated if you think he might be. It really depends on the degree of "quirks". Both my kids have quirks but it doesn't interfere too much with their daily lives. So it all depends on the degree.
I asked my ADDer if he was looking forward to school, and the first thing he said was, "No, because I don't like the Fire Drills, it's too loud and it scares me." He is 9 yrs old. So I can imagine what it must feel like for a 4 yr old.
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Sept 7, 2004 10:06:45 GMT -5
Post by VaMom on Sept 7, 2004 10:06:45 GMT -5
Brenda,
I would definitely agree with getting an eval. for Brandon. While it sounds as though Steph (and my own ds) are sensory seekers, Brandon seems to be a sensory avoider. As tough as it can be to have a sensory seeker, I think a sensory avoider needs even more help. Kids at school are always bumping into each other, and touching each other, etc., especially before the third or fourth grade. A sensory seeker will love and welcome this, but for a sensory avoider it can be hell until they learn to cope. Brandon could most likely benefit from some OT strategies. He may even be a good candidate for brushing. Let us know how it goes, and big hugs to you.
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4K
Sept 7, 2004 11:17:00 GMT -5
Post by d on Sept 7, 2004 11:17:00 GMT -5
One of my friend's kids - highly intelligent and mature beyond her years was phobic about fire trucks and sirens. As a preschooler, K had to be led away from the town parades before she even saw the fire trucks down the street. If she saw them, she would have her hands over her eyes and ears crying inconsolably. This for a child who seemingly had it so together everywhere else had this horrific scared reaction to those sirens and big red trucks. That lasted until 2nd grade - she is fine now.
It IS scary stuff for little kids. Maybe they should've waited a bit to have the drills - Kindergarterners have enough to deal with adjusting to new schools without contending with scary drills.
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Sept 7, 2004 16:42:34 GMT -5
Post by dansmommy on Sept 7, 2004 16:42:34 GMT -5
My dd went to preschool which was not a public school program (our state doesn't offer it) but was held in a public school last year and the year before and fire alarms were a big deal. I would really really talk to the teacher about children's fears and that it's not about "winning." I accidentally kept dd home once the day after a fire drill because I thought she was sick. Mostly we could reassure her, but some kids do need to have their hand held or even to be carried out during a fire drill. Our class was always warned right before the fire drill which may have helped a little tiny bit. Christie
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