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Post by chaknine on May 29, 2004 18:20:45 GMT -5
Last week we went to our 15 yr. old sons end of the eval. with his resource room teacher. He has to take everything over except what he did in the resource room. Well they signed him up again for all the same classes and he will fail them all again. why are they doing this? I mentioned any other alternatives and they said he could go full time special ed. He refuses to take meds. and has been diagnoised with adhd, I asked the resource room teacher if she thought he was displaying alot of adhd symp. and she said no he can do it when he wants to. Then the next thing she said really floored me, but I really do not know that much about it. Hello this is suppose to be a special ed. teacher? They also are hoping he will mature over summer. He has been doing this for years now and up until now they just kept scooting him along. A summer school class here and there, ect.. So they also said he really does not qualify for full time special ed, since he can do the work if he tries. So then they decided to see how he is doing at the end of the first quarter, and then maybe move him. He did really well with the smaller resource room and extra help. But flunked all of the other stuff, computers, world geography, science. Then he needs to pick up extra credits so they put him in art and now he does not have a study hall. None of this sounds right to me. Should I just have them put him in full time special ed ? At this rate I am afraid he will get so old and still be in highschool that he will just drop out. We are already a year behind now and I am sure next year is not going to go well either. He can not take drivers ed until he passes everyclass the semester before he takes it. I would think with this hanging over his head if he could truly do it he would. but has been unsuccessful so far. He wants his license and a car realy bad. I just do not think he can do it, reguardless of if he wants to or not. Shelli
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Post by theirmom on Jun 1, 2004 21:47:51 GMT -5
excuse me, but isn't that how you know it's ADHD, because he can do it IF he wants to? but who wants to do school work? ? It doesn't sound like you're getting much help or understanding at school. If he wont take meds have you tried good old fashioned bribes??? I know alot of parents are reluctant but a bribe is just a positive reinforcement that works. Can you bribe him to take meds? the driving thing can be such a powerfull incentive. And I don't know about you, but I don't like my ds driving without meds. ..... this is so hard....good luck to you
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Post by MomX2 on Jun 2, 2004 9:05:21 GMT -5
I guess it's hard to know what to do. I have a younger cousin who didn't get her driver's license until after she graduated from highschool. A lot of my family says she is temperamental and lazy. I've heard a lot of negative comments about her and it does break my heart a little bit because I remember her as an adorable little baby and little girl I really liked. I've long felt she needed some additional help from someone.
I haven't been in your situation with grades though I think I might try summer classes if they were available. When my husband was in college it was too stressful for him to raise a family and do an entire course load at the same time. I convinced him to take fewer classes over the winter and take some summer classes. Maybe some kids with ADHD would benefit from having fewer classes and more time to study. The hardest part of school for me was always sitting for so many hours on end. I have too much energy to spend that much time sitting and listening to something that doesn't even interest me. It's kind of depressing to think of how much of my life they wasted in school. Half of what they forced me to learn I can't remember now .
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Post by chaknine on Jun 2, 2004 13:38:33 GMT -5
We have done everything for this child from trying to pay him for doing his work, keeping him locked up like a prisoner or actually worse prisoners get to watch tv. The driving thing is scary, like I told my husband do we want him out driving? I think we are going to have to revisit the med. issue. This teacher acted like one of those no such thing as adhd teachers. Which annoys me to no end. I wanted to reach over and smack her to be totally honest. I am going to bring this up at the next special ed meeting that the teachers need to be more educated on adhd. I am not going to finger point but I am going to mention it. I wonder are we going to get anywhere or do we just go for the full time special ed. and get it over with. Shelli
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Post by theirmom on Jun 2, 2004 14:33:35 GMT -5
I know what you mean (sigh). My son spent months sitting in the hall way because I refused to let him watch T.V. and you're right, nothing worked. We had very good luck with meds. They aren't perfect, I still need to remind him of things (like homework, studying, etc), but he is a freshman in college and before meds I wasn't sure he'd even finish 8th grade.
Please don't feel alone. It's not your fault.... it's not even his fault. This is a very pervasive disorder, affecting every facet of their (and our!) lives. good luck and keep looking. somewhere there will be something to help.....
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Post by Babs on Jun 4, 2004 10:04:52 GMT -5
chaknine, your son should be getting an education whether he is on meds or not. It is the school's responsibility to give him accommodations which will enable him to learn. He sounds to me like he needs seating where he will be least distracted in the classroom and certainly more remedial help than he is getting. These are web sites which will help you get a better understanding of his rights and the accommodations which would be helpful. They are in my favorites list. www.reedmartin.com , www.wrightslaw.org , www.schwablearning.org . They should help!
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Post by chaknine on Jun 4, 2004 19:04:12 GMT -5
Hi I have gotten on schwab a few times. i need to post this there. I did some research with them, very helpful. If I put him in full time special ed does he get a regular diploma like the other kids? Shelli
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Post by Mayleng on Jun 4, 2004 21:00:42 GMT -5
Hi I have gotten on schwab a few times. i need to post this there. I did some research with them, very helpful. If I put him in full time special ed does he get a regular diploma like the other kids? Shelli You would get a regular diploma if he takes the same tests the reg ed kids do. And that the curriculum is not modified. He can have accomodations but not modifications. Be very careful and ask the school, and make sure you get it in black and white that he will get a regular diploma. If not he will only get a certificate of attendance or something like that which is useless if he wants to go on to college.
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Post by chaknine on Jun 4, 2004 22:28:55 GMT -5
Thank you Mayleng!!!! The school and I obviously need to chat. There had been no mention of the diploma at all. I wonder with him in the resource room for math and english if he will get a diploma or certificate of completion? Shelli
As long as his curriculum and tests are not modified, he should get a regular diploma. But you have to see if they did any modifications for your son without telling you. Do you have his IEP? It may say modified curriculum in his IEP.
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Post by angel on Jun 6, 2004 20:41:40 GMT -5
Shelli,
sounds like typical adhd scenerio to me. Hang in there. I think I would revisit the med. situation too.
Best wishes!!
angel
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Post by chaknine on Jun 6, 2004 22:52:18 GMT -5
Thanks for all the info and support. You guys are great! I kind of hinted around to our son about meds and he did not sound interested (again)! Last time we went the med route he would hold them in his mouth and spit them out after he was out of our sight. I do not know what we are going to do! Shelli
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Post by angel on Jun 8, 2004 12:37:38 GMT -5
Shelli,
We have started going to counseling and I am pleased with it. Have you tried that? How frustrating for you!!
angel
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Post by chaknine on Jun 8, 2004 16:47:36 GMT -5
My husband and I have been discussing the counseling issue. We are thinking that is the way to go for now. Also we feel he is at the stage where we know absolutely nothing and maybe if he hears somethings coming from another person, it will help. You know my husband and I are 33 and 40 but for some reason we know absoulutely nothing according to him! ;D Shelli
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Post by angel on Jun 11, 2004 9:17:08 GMT -5
lol I have taught 15yos and that is sooooo typical. I think that the end of 7th grade through 9th are the hardest years. They know everything! hummm hummm!Hang in there!! love ya, angel
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Post by chaknine on Jun 11, 2004 10:54:41 GMT -5
Thanks Angel! He drives me nuts somedays! I will be glad when we get out of this stage! Shelli
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Post by dansmommy on Jun 16, 2004 0:24:00 GMT -5
Chaknine -- Do you know why your ds refuses his meds? I was just reading recently that sometimes there's something weird about the way it burns their throat or whatever, and you might get more compliance if he expressed his concerns and you could find a med that didn't "do that" whatever "that" is. Christie
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Post by tiniree on Jun 16, 2004 15:27:57 GMT -5
Shelli - Your son is at an age where he's "stuck" between wanting to "be a man" and still act like a kid. Add the ADHD in there, and it's doubly tough, for all of you Our oldest is only 9, but I can tell you one thing: I HATED hearing the teacher's always saying "He can do it if he wants to!" Most kids WANT to pass so they can at least move on with their friends to the next grade. It really sounds as though you are getting no help from the school whatsoever? Add that in to the normal attitude of a 15 y/o and its really hard. You mentioned that he's already a full year behind? Doesn't this alone signal the school that something more needs to be done? I hate to say it but it sounds like you may need to start the round of "meetings" with everyone once again (I am assuming you've probably done this many times?). We are starting homeschooling this next school year for many reasons you stated. Even though our 9 y/o is "exceeding standards" in all subjects, I've noticed that he's getting bored very quickly, hense the acting up in class. Plus on a couple subjects, I think he has large gaps where the school has "dropped the ball". The best we can do for our kids is "hang in there" and "fight for every right they have". Just keep dreaming of the day when he's walking down that aisle for his college diploma knowing all this fighting for his rights paid off!!!! Marie
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Post by chaknine on Jun 16, 2004 23:56:44 GMT -5
I am really frustrated with this whole thing! I am working on things and doing some research at schwabb. Also trying to keep lines of communication going with him. Encourage some reading, ect.. I guess we will see what happens at the IEP review. Thanks for everything. shelli
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