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Post by LurkNoMore on May 5, 2004 9:09:10 GMT -5
Well, yesterday was the day...we took C over to the other elementary school to tour the self-contained classroom and meet the teacher. We have a really tough decision ahead of ourselves (weighing the pros and cons of switching him to the other school next year or keeping him where he is).
When we went to pick him up at his current school, the principal was in the office...she started talking to us about next year (I just walked away and started picking up flyers/announcements that C hadn't brought home)...hubby was not too thrilled for her to be doing the "hard sell" and telling us things we know right before we were heading over (and making us late)...The resource room teacher also stopped into the office (I asked her how the math testing went today...1st of 3 days for 4th grade state math testing), she said, he made some careless mistakes, but he seemed to think the test was easy (2 more days of testing to get through...at least no homework for 2 more nights).
The social worker met us at the other school (she is a friend of a friend, so we know her socially, as well...and she has known both of my kids since they were babies). The PT (that C currently has, works at both schools) she saw us in that office and took C for a tour of the playground and OT/PT room and the gym while we got an overview of the "philosophy of the school". This year for self-contained, they have a gr. 1-3 class, a 4th grade class (7 current students) and a 5th grade class (6 students). For next year, they will again have a separate 5th grade class (if C goes, there will be 8 students). The self-contained classroom has a special ed teacher, aide and speech therapist that works with the kids. When we were there, only 1 girl was in the room…2 were in with one of the reg. 5th grade classes, 2 were on a field trip and I’m not sure where the other student was. There are 2 regular ed. 5th grade classes – the self contained kids are split up between the 2 and go into those classes for some of the day (they are considered a part of that class for field trips, school pictures etc). It seemed like a nice set-up…they said that the reg. teachers work closely with the spec. ed. teacher to make sure that the kids are up to speed.
It is a tough decision because it seems like a nice set-up in a nuturing environment. The kids we saw were all working well with a teacher (one on reading, one on spelling) and when asked to do something, the kids responded the first time. Now comes the hard part of weighing the pros and cons…we still have some doctors to get input from...and want C to tell us what HE thinks...
Right now, I think I am leaning towards the self-contained because it will give C some independence before middle school (the following year). The social worker said that next year in the middle school, there will be 2 teams of 3 (this year there are 3 teams of 2)…there will be a self-contained class, an inclusion class and a regular ed. Class (plus resource room). I’ll keep you posted as to what we decide…
Any advice, comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
;D
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Post by willoweezie on May 5, 2004 9:18:19 GMT -5
My 2 cents...
Having done the tour myself of the self contained, I know how you feel about making this decision! The fact that the kids spend time in the regular classes during the day sounds like a big improvement over the options I was given. Just from your description, it sounds like this program is more a part of the school than the one I looked at, in a seperate wing, with seperate art, music and other "specials" classrooms. Also, since you are looking at next year, you have some time to weigh the pros and cons and get feedback from your son and his therapist/doctors etc. I'm sure you will make the right decision, but I understand that it's a really hard decision to make. I'll be thinking about you!
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Post by Dakotah on May 5, 2004 9:50:03 GMT -5
Lurk,
I feel so bad that you need to make such a hard decision. I know you can make the right one just follow your gut. I have to give my 2 cents as a teacher. I would strongly recommend trying to talk to some of the parents who currently have kids in the self-contained room to make sure it is all that the school says it is. It is my experience that sometimes the program isn't what it seems. When you observed you should have seen everyone at their best. They should care that you are coming to look around. Does that make sense? It sounds like you liked what you saw and that should speak volumes. I observed my son's room last year and it was TERRIBLE! Totally out of control. I went on a scheduled visit and this is what they thought was okay to show me. I was seeing the norm for that room. That was upsetting to me. I felt the decision to place our child in a "special" class was like finally admitting to myself and accepting that he isn't and won't be like the other typical kids. Letting go of the ideal of a "normal" family is freeing. Trust yourself Lurk. You know C and the decision will come to you and your husband. From the outside looking in, it is clear you are taking this very seriously and I have an idea that you can't make a wrong decision. Both places would probably be right but for different reasons. Just think about what YOU want for him and what C wants for himself.
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Post by LurkNoMore on May 5, 2004 12:24:36 GMT -5
thanks Willow and Dakotah...
We are going to sit down this week and make a list of pros and cons.
I hadn't thought about the school being on their best behavior for us...and I don't think they were...the kids were in and out at various activities. The 5th grade self-contained is on the same hallway as the other 5th grade classrooms. The SW said that the good thing about this school is they have more flexibility to meet the kids needs (w/pullouts etc) and b/c ALL of the kids at the school know about the self-containeds the kids are pretty accepting. My daughter (not ADHD) is in middle school now (6th grade) and she knows of some kids that were in the special class that are now in the regular class (so obviously the kids still talk, since she wasn't in elem. school with them)...she also noticed one of the boys that was at her school last year is not on any team (of teachers) and thinks he might be in a special class (I haven't seen his mother to compare notes this year)...my daughter is very compassionate since she has a brother with ADHD and knows that all kids learn differently, so she is not judgemental but I know LOTS of other kids that age are.
the other funny (odd?) thing was when we went to drop C back off at HIS school, we saw the Resource Room teacher. she immediatly came up to us to see how it went (almost like she was waiting for our decision...) and, again, reiterated that they only want what is best for C. We then saw C's reg. teacher (the kids were just going to lunch). She asked how things went and then re-iterated that she knows it is a tough decision and that as parents we should go with our gut for what we think is best for C (that is the nicest thing I think she has said to us all year)...
Dakotah...is your son in a self-contained this year?
and, Willow, at this school the kids are integrated with the "regular" kids and classes as much as possible and as much as they are able to...
I'll keep you posted as we go along!
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Post by angel on May 5, 2004 12:27:48 GMT -5
Lurk,
Coming from another teacher, I totally agree with Dakota! (good post) You will know what to do!
love ya,
angel
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Post by Dakotah on May 6, 2004 8:54:41 GMT -5
Hello LurkNoMore! My son is five and was in a special education preschool class last year. It would have been considered a self-contained classroom for preschool. I think putting a preschooler in a self-contained room is a different kind of decision than putting a fifth grader in one. I feel like it is an easier decision but it was difficult for us to pick to decide. This is when we realized that all these issues our son has were not just in our heads and that other people see them too. It became real to us. I taught at a school that had self-contained rooms for students with special needs. These kids were mainstreamed into the regular educ. rooms and seemed to do fine. The regular educ. population in our school was very open to diversity so everyone for the most part meshed great. The special educ. teachers were great and knew exactly what the self-contained kids needed. A regular educ. teacher may not have the insight of what these kids need BUT working as a partner with the special educ. teacher was a perfect match. The teachers were able to support each other to support the students. I was the reg. educ. teacher for mainstreamed kids in my grade so I am speaking from experience. On a personal note, my husband and I struggle with making our son stick out. If he is placed into a self-contained room in elementary school then the other reg. kids in the neighborhood will know he is "special" and most likely at some point down the road will tease and make fun of him and eventually leave him out. (This is the mommy in me talking that wants to place him in a bubble  ) Well, the neighborhood kids have never been told he is "special" but they have figured out he is different all on their own. He is already teased, made fun of and left out. I have figured out that placing him in a room that fits his needs and is best for him isn't going to put the neon sign above him saying "look at me I am different". He is different and that is the way it is. Lurk I am not saying to put C into a self-contained room. I just thought I would share some things that have gone through our minds. If our son wasn't on meds. that are effectively working I can promise you that he would definately be a candidate for a self-contained room in elementary school. Angel, do you have any input on self-contained rooms? What grade do you teacher? I taught kindergarten and first grade. |
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Post by angel on May 6, 2004 9:40:29 GMT -5
Dakota,
I am currently staying home with my 14mo. I have taught (LOL) 1st,2nd,3rd,6-12th grades. I taught 1st and 3rd in public school and then, most recently taught in private. It is hard to say much about self-contained because each school district handles it so differently. It is different in each school district and eacj individual school in my whole area. I would just research it and go with my "gut" feeling. I would probably not go that route unless I really felt that we had NO other option. So much of it depends on the child too!!
Sorry that I can't offer more help than that. I just don't want to make a general statement and it be untrue of what it is like elsewhere. ykwim?
Wishing everyone the very best!!! It hurts my heart to know the struggles that you are facing.
angel
angel
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Post by willoweezie on May 6, 2004 9:55:13 GMT -5
Angel, you bring up a good point about special ed being so different from place to place. I'm all for some strength behind the No CHild Left Behind legislation that puts some meat into things like LRE and inclusion for kids who need additional resources. Its fine for my county to spout off that they offer a continuum of services and strive to find the Least Restrictive Environment, but I know the reality of it... for us it is the option of 2 hours a week with a resource in the classroom or near-total removal from "normal kids". Our current school has a program for MR and severe LD kids that allows them to spend as much time as possible with the general population, yet my ED  child is not being offered that same opportunity as a way to help her with her disabilities. NCLB doesn't really work if individual school districts have so much freedom over deciding what is to be offered for this disability or that disability, IMHO. OK, off my soapbox! Maybe I should study educational law... |
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Post by LurkNoMore on May 6, 2004 10:10:44 GMT -5
Thanks for your insight Dakotah and Angel (it is great to have teachers and former teachers on the board)... I think that you have said what I have been feeling Dakotah (about not wanting your child to stand out as different...even though he already does)... I know this is childish and foolish of me, but I know that I can be honest here. A small part of me is trying to get over the "stigma" of him going to the other school AND dealing with the neighborhood kids and parents wondering where C is next year...and that little bus that would come to pick him up (even at work, people make jokes about the "little bus" and special ed...not knowing that I have a child that may be on one next year) So, right now the big question becomes do we put him in the self-contained next year (the funny thing is, if it were offered at OUR school, I wouldn't hesitate for a minute to put him in)...or keep him where he is and, most likely, have him placed in a self-contained for middle school (but at least he would be in the same school as everybody else)...Sorry I'm rambling, but I am thinking as I type and it is helping me to put things in perspective! I guess the big question for us is...will there be other problems that come up if we move him (lack of self-esteem, depression, the unknowns) because he is very loyal to HIS school...we are going to sit down with C over the weekend and get his feelings (hopefully), so that can be weighed in with our decision... Thanks for being here for me!  |
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Post by Dakotah on May 6, 2004 10:23:55 GMT -5
LurkNoMore that little yellow bus comes to our house. I have never offered any info. to any neighbors. No one has asked. I do not think you are childish or foolish at all! I understand, I really do.
Angel I am so glad you reminded me of how different SE is from district to district. It is night and day.
Willow don't even get me started on NCLB unless you want to see me pull out a soapbox... ;D
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Post by willoweezie on May 6, 2004 10:24:11 GMT -5
That is so hard to deal with, I know what you are saying. Sometimes people say things that are hurtful out of ignorance that they would never say if they knew the reality you do. Some kids are mean and cruel, wherever you go, but some are surprisingly accepting and tolerant too. I'm not one to practice what I preach about this, but try to remind yourself not to take people's ignorance or misinformed comments personally. I'm sure I've said stuff to people I would heartily regret if I knew more about their personal lives... it happens to us all. I think you will make the right choice, working your way through your feelings about it is a great step in the right direction. You have this site to help you put them into words, and I don't think anyone here will second guess your decision.
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Post by Mayleng on May 6, 2004 10:31:57 GMT -5
Thanks for your insight Dakotah and Angel (it is great to have teachers and former teachers on the board)... I think that you have said what I have been feeling Dakotah (about not wanting your child to stand out as different...even though he already does)... I know this is childish and foolish of me, but I know that I can be honest here. A small part of me is trying to get over the "stigma" of him going to the other school AND dealing with the neighborhood kids and parents wondering where C is next year...and that little bus that would come to pick him up (even at work, people make jokes about the "little bus" and special ed...not knowing that I have a child that may be on one next year) So, right now the big question becomes do we put him in the self-contained next year (the funny thing is, if it were offered at OUR school, I wouldn't hesitate for a minute to put him in)...or keep him where he is and, most likely, have him placed in a self-contained for middle school (but at least he would be in the same school as everybody else)...Sorry I'm rambling, but I am thinking as I type and it is helping me to put things in perspective! I guess the big question for us is...will there be other problems that come up if we move him (lack of self-esteem, depression, the unknowns) because he is very loyal to HIS school...we are going to sit down with C over the weekend and get his feelings (hopefully), so that can be weighed in with our decision... Thanks for being here for me! Lurk, can I throw in another point of view. Maybe being in a self-contained class in another school, might be better when dealing with the neighbourhood kids. They don't see him in the Sped Ed class in their school, so can't attach any stigma to him. All you have to say is that he is in a Private school if asked. My son had a little bus pick him up in kindergarten, and this is my "normal" child, because the long bus ride on the regular bus made him throw up everytime. He has some serious motion sickness. He was not ED or LD or ADD or anything and yet rode on the little bus. So I wouldn't worry about the little bus stigma. You have to decide what is best for your child, where he is going to flourish, academically and emotionally. To hell with what people think, most people who think that way are ignorant anyway and their opinions should not count for anything. Deep down, I think you already know what is best for your child, it is just coming to terms with it that is the hard part. Whatever decision you make, it will always be made in the best interest of the child. What other people think is not important. |
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Post by LurkNoMore on May 6, 2004 10:51:29 GMT -5
Thanks Mayleng... I'll let you know when we make the decision... I still keep hoping and waiting for us to get the right med (or combo) so that C can do all that we know he is capable of I'll keep you posted! |
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Post by angel on May 7, 2004 12:24:57 GMT -5
Lurk,
I think that everyone has already put into words what I would want to say to you. I have total faith that the three of you will make the right decision!
HUGS and PRAYERS for WISDOM being sent your way!!
love,
angel
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Post by jwm on May 7, 2004 19:26:38 GMT -5
lurknomore
I hope things work out. I know you and your family will make the decision that is right for your child. I can see where you are coming from. A "little bus" picks up my neighbor. He is in high school this year. I have never asked why. He is a nice kid and everyone seems to like him and include him in baseball, basketball, football, etc.
Go with your instincts and talk with C. Things will fall into place for you. Enjoy your weekend and have a happy Mother's Day!!
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) Well, the neighborhood kids have never been told he is "special" but they have figured out he is different all on their own. He is already teased, made fun of and left out. I have figured out that placing him in a room that fits his needs and is best for him isn't going to put the neon sign above him saying "look at me I am different". He is different and that is the way it is. Lurk I am not saying to put C into a self-contained room. I just thought I would share some things that have gone through our minds. If our son wasn't on meds. that are effectively working I can promise you that he would definately be a candidate for a self-contained room in elementary school.
child is not being offered that same opportunity as a way to help her with her disabilities. NCLB doesn't really work if individual school districts have so much freedom over deciding what is to be offered for this disability or that disability, IMHO.
