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Post by ryansmom on Apr 5, 2004 11:47:24 GMT -5
my 8 yr old ds is on concerta and it has helped in many areas. His grades went up ;D this term, kids on our street play with him now, no more bouncing off the walls etc. However since day one in school he is getting written up every week for behavior problems. Alot of the problems were fighting with other kids but that has stopped. Lately it for saying, writing drawing inappropriate thinks. He told the girl next to him at an assembly that her mother should take a picture of her naked. . The teacher says she is afraid to turn her back on him. She keeps him separated since day one from the rest of the class. He has had two in school suspensions and told me today the next step is out of school suspension. Help I dont know where to turn. I think he would benefit from a smaller class size. There are 29 kids in his class. The school tested him but said he is bright so no IEP. Thanks for letting me vent We start counseling tomorrow...
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Post by JV on Apr 5, 2004 12:01:18 GMT -5
ryansmom,
If the school has evaluated him and feel he is too bright, there are alot more things you can pursue. First is your child seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist? If so, this is a great place to start. If you have been going to counceling and discussing with the dr. what troubles he is having socially, your dr. should support you and write an official letter to the school that your childs abilities to learn are impaired for different reasons. Second, maybe they can set up accomodations for him in the room with a 504 plan also. This may include being able to use a computer lab or the library for when your child is struggling socially if he gets angry and overloads he may use these areas for a place to "collect" himself. Get your dr. involved, tell him what they (the school)will not do for you, and ask him how he can help you get the results you know your child needs. Hope this helps. JV
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Post by Mayleng on Apr 5, 2004 12:09:56 GMT -5
My question would be where is he getting all these inappropriate comments from, seeing he is only 8 yrs old. Are all his inappropriate comments sexual in nature? I am going to come right out and ask the question - Has he been left alone with other adults or exposed to other adults?
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Post by ryansmom on Apr 5, 2004 14:21:06 GMT -5
thanks for the advice JV.
Mayleng not all of the comments are sexual alot of them are just silly. The teacher called again today to say his drawings lately have been vilolent(guns, army men fighting, etc.) She says she is at her wits end with him. She said he is a real problem. Then she said "well hes been a problem from day one from what i hear" (meaning kindergarten) Well hopefully things will go well tomorrow for our first appt. with the psychologist
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Post by Mayleng on Apr 5, 2004 15:01:42 GMT -5
thanks for the advice JV. Mayleng not all of the comments are sexual alot of them are just silly. The teacher called again today to say his drawings lately have been vilolent(guns, army men fighting, etc.) She says she is at her wits end with him. She said he is a real problem. Then she said "well hes been a problem from day one from what i hear" (meaning kindergarten) Well hopefully things will go well tomorrow for our first appt. with the psychologist I think the teacher is probably over reacting to the guns and army men. All boys like GI Joe etc. My sons (both ADD and Non ADD) draw the cartoons they see on TV and most of them have "guns" etc. I don't like the comment the teacher made about him being a problem since Day 1. She has already pre-judged him. How does she treat him - negative reinforcements or positive reinforcements? Hopefully, the counseling will help.
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Post by NativeLI on Apr 5, 2004 16:23:12 GMT -5
I agree about the army thing...my 8 yo is a WWII fanatic (like my husband). He takes out books on Pearl Harbor from the library all the time. He is constantly drawing battle scenes.
That teachers comment is totally inappropriate. You may consider changing classes (even at this late date) since she is obviously frustrated and will not be able to see things from a good perspective. My son in first grade had the same type of issues with his teacher and I regret not having him moved out. The last 3 months were a horror.
As far as the concerta, is he at a high enough dose? My son was acting out too until I upped his dose. It made a big difference.
You need to talk to him about the sexual things. Unfortunately there is so much sex in the media that our kids are exposed to things they know nothing about. My husband says things to the boys without thinking - like if he sees a good looking girl in a bikini on tv he'll make a comment about it. The boys hear it and don't realize what is appropriate and what is not. Kids are constantly being suspended in school for saying very similar things. I think the media is way ahead of parents explaining things.
I hope some of this helps!
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Post by vickilyn32 on Apr 6, 2004 8:54:33 GMT -5
I agree about the army and guns. I worked for two years in a junior high library and the boys were always checking out books on war and war equipment. My DS13 has a wonderful drawing he drew of WWII bomber planes. He spent loads of time and effort drawing this, and his teachers when he showed them said how good it was. They also used to play war when they would all get together. They outgrew that now. As for some of the sexual comments, they could be picked up from older kids, tv commercials, music, etc. Ask why he said this, sometimes kids with ADD just dont reliaze that things should not be said, and they just blurt out comments.
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Post by ryansmom on Apr 6, 2004 11:42:18 GMT -5
i wrote this post in a hurry at work and realized i left out a few facts. my sons class had to wite letters to the soldiers in Iraq. In his letter he told them to use guns like in the picture he drew to kill the bad poeple. I talked to my son about this yesterday andhe was sad that his letter was not being sent.he said it was just and idea that he had and he was just trying to help. He also said he didnt think he did anything wrong and that the teachers aid looked at it when he was done and said ok put it in the pile. I think if his letter was a problem it should have been addressed then. Sorry this got long. I needed to vent
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Post by Gillian on Apr 6, 2004 12:24:17 GMT -5
Just so you know you are not alone - I am also having problems with my 8 year old son in school (and he is my non-ADHD son!!). My problems are different from yours but I am also thinking of changing classes - even though there is only a few weeks left. I am just about to post in this section - see Boneheads. Hang in there.
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Post by LaurieL on Apr 23, 2004 15:58:50 GMT -5
I'd be talking to the principle regarding the comment that she made -that he was a problem from day one. She should not be making comments like that and if others are the teacher next year might have a judgement on him and won't give him a chance.
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Post by dfp on Apr 28, 2004 22:45:29 GMT -5
Just an FYI, if your child has a documented disability which is educationally significant, they cannot deny him an IEP if he is doing ok in school *because of the services he gets*. IQ is not the criteria for determining eligibility for an IEP. Remember, this is an "individualized" education plan. It is meant for your child and your child only-- if your child is not performing up to his abilities because of a physical disability or Specific Learning Disability, then an IEP is certainly an option. The US Department of Education, Office of Special and Rehabilitative services said in a position letter on May 10, 1994 that "Each child who is evaluated for a suspected learning disability must be measured against his own expected performance, and not against some arbitrary general standard. " More on this here: www.listen-up.org/rights2/osep13.htmSorry for the long post. I just wanted to let you know that you may have options here. dfp p.s. do you find that your son thinks about this innapropriate stuff at home too? Do you think anyone could reasonably say he was sometimes preoccupied with these subjects? I just ask because when my son was recently evaluated for bipolar disorder the checklists mentioned "preoccupation with sexual or violent images/thoughts" as one of the possible symptoms. If there is a chance of bipolar disorder you do NOT want to use stimulants as it can induce mania (sometimes long term). From email it's impossible to tell anything. You know your child best. I'm so sorry you have to go through this tough time. We have other bad symptoms here, not quite the same things, but I understand the worry and sadness. Good luck.
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