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Post by lakemedium on Sept 2, 2014 11:23:01 GMT -5
Hello All, My homeschooled 12 y/o started 6th grade about 2 weeks ago. He is in our local public intermediate school which is 5th and 6th grade. He has a h/o a language d/o and attended our local EI preschool from age 3 to nearly 6. He started SLP services through hospital outpatient. clinics at age 2. He also demonstrated motor delays early on. He walked at 17 months. He received OT and PT. I homeschooled him after most pre-academic schools he learned from me at home not from the EI preschool. At the end his time at the EI preschool he was given an IQ test in which he was classified mentally disabled.. I had issues with this as he recognized the entire alphabet and numbers past 20 as well as having a few other pre-academic skills. It has been long suspected by us, his parents that he was on the autism spectrum. This was evidence by social anxiety, toe walking and significant troubles interacting with peers when he was preschool aged and younger. The EI experience convinced me to embark on our 6 year homeschool journey. He struggled to learn to read and I used a number of good quality homeschooling materials eventually he grasped a rudimentary knowledge of phonics via a book called How to Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. He could easily learn sight words and by age 7 he was a reader. Presently, he reads fluently books at the 4th to 5th grade level. His comprehension has improved significantly but lags behind his reading skill. He has not learned cursive as I couldn't imagine teaching him it. He prints legibly. He can copy poetry and passages from literature but his spelling is poor and cannot write creatively in the least bit. We did have some spelling success with a phonogram based program, All About Spelling. Regarding math, he knows basic addition and subtraction facts can add and subtract multiple vision with some oversight and help. Can do simple story problems. He can use a multiplication table and knows a number of multiplication facts. He has a good understanding of the calendar. He has basic clock skills. He has a very basic understanding of money. He gets confused sometimes adding mixed however. His verbal skills have come a long way but he has significant troubles following more than basic directions. He is easily distracted. He played hockey for 5 years. The league was incredibly understanding and supportive. He is a very good ice skater but had very significant troubles following directions and lining up. He played in games with a referee helping him to line up. He never communicated with his team mates but felt very comfortable with particular coaches. He has started the public school without an IEP as the district doesn't have a school psychologist to evaluate him. They are in the hiring process. He is in SPED classes. He has adjusted well and states that he likes his school. He needs staff help with changing classes. I am anxious about the pending school psychology evaluation. I cannot imagine he will test well at all. After all of these years I really wonder what his cognitive ability is and I wonder if we will really know in the near future. His reading ability suggests that it could be intact but all his other deficits are scary. Any feedback would be appreciated! Thanks!
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Post by michellea on Sept 2, 2014 12:10:50 GMT -5
Hi Lakemedium, It sounds like your son has made some great progress and that you know him very well as a learner as well as a son. Your insight will be very helpful to his teachers now that he is in public school. As I read your post, a couple of things occur to me:
Results of the upcoming testing concern you: I totally understand this. Whenever my son was tested, I was on edge wondering whether or not scores would go up, down and what staff would read into the results. To the extent that you can, keep in mind that the testing yields scores for discrete skills. They are measurements of how he did on the tests on that particular day. Most evaluations do not take into account other important attributes - the support of the student's family, his interests, his resilience etc. AND no matter what the evaluation report says, he is the same person he was the day before he took the tests and you learned of the results. In short, evaluations are important data points, but they do not tell the entire story.
The testing is being delayed while the district hires a psychologist: While I understand that resources and personnel are limited, IDEA (federal special ed law), does not allow for lack of resources. It will be critical for your child to start of the year with the appropriate services in place. Depending upon your state regulations, an initial evaluation must be completed within 30-60 school days and an eligibility meeting must be held to review the results, qualify the student (or not) for special ed and write an IEP. While it may be reasonable to wait a couple of days to get the testing started, i would not let the situation drag on. I would WRITE to the head of the special ed and remind them that the evaluation should be completed within a mandated time frame and suggest to them that they contract out for any of the testing that they cannot complete by school personnel. If the testing drags on - it could be winter break before the testing and IEP is complete.
He is in SPED classes: While this may be the appropriate the setting for him, I am confused how he could be receiving special ed without an IEP. Again, this speaks to the need for your son to get a full evaluation (psychological, academic, social pragmatics, OT, PT, speech and lanaguage) so that he can get an individual ed plan tailored to his specific needs. It also makes me worried that the district is not in compliance with special ed regulations/law. Be sure that you read your state's Procedural safeguards (documented process and regulations for the special ed process including timelines). It will be important for you to hold the school accountable if they decide to play things "loosey goosey"
I am so glad his initial transition has gone well. Please keep us posted on his progress and let us know if you have any additional questions along the way.
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Post by lakemedium on Sept 2, 2014 12:23:55 GMT -5
Thanks, Michellea. Your post is very help and supportive! Much appreciated.
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Post by healthy11 on Sept 2, 2014 16:29:10 GMT -5
I can't add anything to Michellea's insights, but I did want to let you know that your son's ability (inability) to write in cursive shouldn't be a big concern. Many schools have stopped teaching cursive altogether... My own son, with ADHD, dyslexia, and dysgraphia graduated from college last year, and 99.9% of what he puts on paper by hand is sloppily printed. The only thing he actually scribbles in cursive is his signature. Students use computer keyboarding much more than ever before, and I wonder if your son knows how to do it? An Assistive Technology evaluation sounds like it should be part of your son's overall testing.
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Post by lakemedium on Sept 2, 2014 20:56:37 GMT -5
Thanks Healthy! I received an email this evening from his sped teacher asking to meet with me this week to discuss his school day. I am anxious about this. I know he is struggling with the changing classes. I have been in the school with him after school to get his lunch box that he left and he appears to know his way around in a very general way. He probably struggles a bit with having a locker and bring the correct items to classes. He has told me that the kids are nice at the school. We have heard that he is polite and cooperative. This is so hard! We had to end homeschooling because of all of his academic gaps and because homeschooling was not helping to address his social needs. As he gets nearer to adolescence, his struggles with me indicate that he needs an opportunity to be independent. He doesn't learn like typical kids. Worksheets were always very difficult and I tried and ditched many workbooks over the years. He learned best from sitting down with 1:1 instruction and from very hands on and concrete instructions. My son's keyboarding is limited but he is good with video games and with his ipad.
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Post by empeg1 on Sept 2, 2014 22:49:23 GMT -5
I concur with Michellea. Testing provides a snapshot for anyone. For individuals with a neurodevelopmental disability, of which Autism is one, inconsistency in performance is often a big part of the picture. My adult daughter has WAIS results that vary from an overall IQ of 116 to 93. Take your pick, on any one day, how she will do. In addition, IQ tests really assess only a limited view of "intelligence", as in mathematical/logical/language abilities. Creativity is not assessed. "Body" intelligence is not factored in, as with an athlete or dancer. And, what is tested as IQ really has a whole lot with what the student has learned in school.
Be that as it may, your post provides some hints about your son. Your son's ability to 1) decode may be higher than his comprehension, 2) learn math facts over money math, and 3) write vs copy provides a possible clue that concrete learning is easier for him than abstract thinking. If the above is true, then it will be important for his teacher(s) to know this information, to provide instruction to meet his learning needs and for everyone to help him scaffold skills he will need in adulthood.
Your son is his own person. He will be the same child the day before the test and the day afterward. You already know that he faces some challenges. What the school needs is a clear picture of strengths and weaknesses, how your son learns best and strategies best suited to work with your son…. that and appropriate goals to move your son forward. A few points…. 1) It is not legal just to place your son in a sped ed 2) No psychologist? Oh, that is not an excuse to delay signing an assessment plan, ASAP. The above starts the assessment process and, more to the point, the time line. In California, a school district has 30 days to complete an assessment and go to IEP from the date the child started school. Do NOT delay. Write a letter to the Sped Ed Director stating that you are requesting that your son be assessed and that you expect to sign an assessment plan immediately, as your son has been in school 2 weeks. If the district does not have the personnel to do the psychoeducational assessment, I have a solution for the school district. YOU can find a neuropsychologist to do the evaluation and the district can be for said testing and accept the results as their own. 3) Has your son seen a neurologist before? You report soft signs of neurological involvement and I would have a medical exam done if it has not been done beforehand. If you suspect that your son is on the Autism spectrum, National Health Care Reform made Autism a disability that insurance companies must cover, for assessments and remediation. Speak to your pediatrician about an appropriate referral for diagnosis. The more you know about your son, the more information you will have to come up with an appropriate plan for school.
Finally, remember, you are an expert on your son. Make sure the school hears your voice at meetings. BTW, you can request that you receive all assessment reports from your school district prior to the IEP meeting. In California, it is 5 days prior to the meeting. Make this request so you can digest what is written and formulate questions and ideas before you sit in a room full of people. Make sure that you request, in writing, assessments in speech and language (to include pragmatics or social language), occupational assessment (stipulate fine motor and sensory integration), psychoeducational assessment, academic testing, and PT. What is not in writing does not exist legally, so write your request and send it certified mail, receipt requested. Start a file of ALL communication between you and any school district personnel.
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Post by bros on Sept 2, 2014 23:02:18 GMT -5
Thanks Healthy! I received an email this evening from his sped teacher asking to meet with me this week to discuss his school day. I am anxious about this. I know he is struggling with the changing classes. I have been in the school with him after school to get his lunch box that he left and he appears to know his way around in a very general way. He probably struggles a bit with having a locker and bring the correct items to classes. He has told me that the kids are nice at the school. We have heard that he is polite and cooperative. This is so hard! We had to end homeschooling because of all of his academic gaps and because homeschooling was not helping to address his social needs. As he gets nearer to adolescence, his struggles with me indicate that he needs an opportunity to be independent. He doesn't learn like typical kids. Worksheets were always very difficult and I tried and ditched many workbooks over the years. He learned best from sitting down with 1:1 instruction and from very hands on and concrete instructions. My son's keyboarding is limited but he is good with video games and with his ipad. I had a lot of trouble with lockers too. When I got to 7th grade, I had trouble almost the entire year, then by the time I figured it out, summer came and I needed to be taught all over again. Eventually, I learned how to do it with limited reminders - the key is remembering the combination - perhaps the school can set it to something easy to remember, but not 1-2-3 easy (One of my locker combinations was 03-21-07, for example). For keyboarding, get him off the ipad. You need to have him working with a physical keyboard that provides actual feedback, then he can go back to using an iPad. I would suggest limiting his iPad use to with a keyboard dock only for text input, use a fun program to train him to use a keyboard - perhaps something like Typing of the Dead, if he is mature enough, that is. Otherwise, use some software like Mavis Beacon or whatever is popular now.
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Post by lakemedium on Sept 3, 2014 13:30:55 GMT -5
I met with the school staff today-principal and sped teachers. The presented that he belongs in an inclusive classroom of 3 other ASD kids. 2 of these kids are mostly non-verbal and the other boy functions around the level of my son. They presented me with basic worksheets that he could not do. The informed me that he cannot follow basic directions and that he is dependent on school staff to change classes. The said that he is an "awesome reader" but his comprehension is poor and that he can comprehend by "chunking". They said his rote math skills are good. All of this I know. The two mostly non-verbal boys in the inclusive classroom do have bx problems. Staff said they are removed at times to a safe area. My son will be taught to "use his words" to talk about his feelings re: these bxs. He will be working on life skills more than academic skills i.e. caring for the vegetable garden, using the phone, following basic directions and some work with the school lunch money. The staff asked me about where I thought the direction of my son's life could go i.e. trade school, living with me and my husband indefinitely or in the community with support. They have hired a psychologist who will start on 9/15/14. He is to be the first to be evaluated. I am sort of devastated. However, everything has always been so hard in terms of raising ds. Outside of him being out in the community how is this better than homeschooling. His future seems so dim. They told me that he is compliant and has a nice smile and that those qualities will take him far. I think I looked at them all as if they had two heads. The kids in this class room are the 4 lowest functioning kids in this school of nearly 500 kids. That does not give me a good feeling as for where my son stands.
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Post by bros on Sept 3, 2014 14:42:50 GMT -5
He's only in sixth grade. There's time to improve.
However, the homeschooling could've delayed his development.
Wait for the test results to come in then look at them - you'll probably want to request an IEE on their evaluation. Your son might benefit more from an out of district placement, but to get that, you have to give the school a shot first - who knows, maybe this class will help him greatly?
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Post by healthy11 on Sept 3, 2014 15:54:29 GMT -5
((hugs)) As empeg mentioned earlier, your son is the same child you loved yesterday as he is today, even though you now have heard other people's views about him. On one hand, I'm actually encouraged to hear that in just two weeks time, the school's perceptions of his strengths and weaknesses matches yours. ("All of this I know.") On the other hand, I understand that you wanted him to be in a mainstreamed environment, and they are leaning towards a self-contained lifeskills setting, rather than an intensive academic program. Without having met your son, and not having any current evaluation data, it's nearly impossible for us to say what the best placement would be for him. I hope the psych that does evaluate your son isn't "fresh out of school" and has experience with other school children, and that they consider using a non-verbal IQ test like the C-TONI as part of their assessment. autism.about.com/od/whatisautism/a/IQTesting.htm Again, as bros said, you will probably want to request an IEE after the school's evaluation, given the complexity of your son's case, but he is still young, and many years in which to learn and gain new skills. What types of interests and activities does your son seem to enjoy the most, when he has "free time?"
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Post by bros on Sept 3, 2014 16:11:15 GMT -5
((hugs)) As empeg mentioned earlier, your son is the same child you loved yesterday as he is today, even though you now have heard other people's views about him. On one hand, I'm actually encouraged to hear that in just two weeks time, the school's perceptions of his strengths and weaknesses matches yours. ("All of this I know.") On the other hand, I understand that you wanted him to be in a mainstreamed environment, and they are leaning towards a self-contained lifeskills setting, rather than an intensive academic program. Without having met your son, and not having any current evaluation data, it's nearly impossible for us to say what the best placement would be for him. I hope the psych that does evaluate your son isn't "fresh out of school" and has experience with other school children, and that they consider using a non-verbal IQ test like the C-TONI as part of their assessment. autism.about.com/od/whatisautism/a/IQTesting.htm Again, as bros said, you will probably want to request an IEE after the school's evaluation, given the complexity of your son's case, but he is still young, and many years in which to learn and gain new skills. What types of interests and activities does your son seem to enjoy the most, when he has "free time?" The IQ test will be interesting, and will probably vary significantly from the last one the child had. I had an IQ test done when I was like 5 - Verbal IQ of 85, Performance IQ of 69. I had another one done when I was 16 - Verbal IQ of 120, Performance IQ of 92. Then I had one done at 20 - Verbal IQ of 122, Performance IQ of 97.
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Post by michellea on Sept 3, 2014 18:36:53 GMT -5
Just want to weigh in on the information they are gathering and the proposals they are making for your son as far as services and placement:
THIS SHOULD NOT BE DONE WITHOUT A FULL EVALUATION IN THE AREAS I MENTIONED EARLIER. EMPEG HAD THE SAME CONCERN IN HER RESPONSE.
While I appreciate that they are gathering important data on how he functions in the classrooms and on curriculum based assessments, this information is insufficient to make placement decisions. The good news is that they recognize that he will need specially designed instruction and special ed support. But, they cannot qualify him for special ed or make decisions without the scientific data from an evaluation.
Their concerns should be noted and should be further explored in the evaluation. They need to accelerate the evaluation process so that they can design a well thought out IEP ASAP. BUT until you have those evaluations, I would not sign anything.
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Post by lakemedium on Sept 3, 2014 22:21:06 GMT -5
My dh picked up ds from school today. He started to cry in the car but would not say why. He did the same with me. When I asked if he had been told by school staff that he was being moved into another classroom he said "yes" and started to sob. He agreed that he would miss his sped teacher. He cried for a while and I asked him some other questions to which he said "no". The only "yes" was when I asked him if learning is hard for him. He has told me in the past that his brain doesn't work right. I went to Open House tonight at the school and spent the whole time with his new inclusion classroom teacher. I took pictures with my phone of the door with the room number, his new desk and the classroom. The teacher is a veteran sped teacher and seems excellent. My ds will be the highest functioning child in the room. I saw the life skills room and the sensory room. I broke down in tears with the teacher. I saw the original sped teacher that he likes so much and told her about ds reaction to the transition and she said that she will visit him in the morning and reassure him that she will still have some contact with him. I know that he is the same kid. He is the same kid that I have to wonder if he will ever live on his own. College appears to be very much out of the question as do other ordinary things like driving a car and marriage. I will walk ds in to his new classroom tomorrow. This is what he wants. I am thinking about getting some outside tutoring to help him. He read a Childhood of Early Americans book to me tonight as fluent as can be. We did chunking throughout and his comprehension was decent. Beyond this grief, I have a 4 year old non-verbal dd in the school districts EI preschool. She appears to be on the spectrum as well. She has had a very rocky start at the EI. She has a fever the first few days and we kept her home. We sent her the third day and on the fourth day they sent her home. She stayed there yesterday and today. She had troubles separating from me and had a toileting accident at school. She came home and had two more accidents. She has been potty trained since end of May. This regression is related to her anxiety about starting school. She is different than ds. She is more independent. She is also exhausting. I feel like the most pitiful mother in the world. On top of this I am a highly trained child psychotherapist/clinical social worker. The new inclusion teacher talked to me about trying to stay positive. How much tragedy can one family take?
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Post by bros on Sept 3, 2014 22:37:35 GMT -5
What do her testing results performed by the county EIP or district sped preschool show?
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Post by healthy11 on Sept 3, 2014 23:46:55 GMT -5
Lakemedium, you are not a pitiful mother, you are a loving and caring mother! You're putting all your efforts into raising them. You have been with your children "from day 1" and you only want the best for them. Now you're trying to adjust to a new phase of life, entrusting other people with a portion of your children's care. I could be mistaken, but if this school year is the first time both of your children have been away from you for a few hours every day, it's likely one of the first times you haven't been following them around and dealing with whatever their demands of the moment were. It's probably giving you a chance to reflect on the past, and maybe even reminisce about your life before you had children. Then, your thoughts inevitably turn to wondering what your life and theirs will be like in the future. The truth is, none of us knows for sure. If you look under my posts, you'll see a phrase, "Courage is not the lack of fear, it is acting in spite of it." You're doing the right things by advocating for your children, and beginning the formal evaluation processes. Once you have additional information, a path may become clearer. All any of us can do is take things one day at a time. If you need to "vent," we're here for you. You may also want to contact a support group in your local community, such as www.autismspeaks.org/science/resources-programs/autism-treatment-network
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Post by lakemedium on Sept 4, 2014 3:29:55 GMT -5
Thanks. She is un-testable. This is because she is non-verbal and uncooperative. She receives OT and SLP at an outpt. hoptital clinic as well and she could not be tested up to this point. This doesn't seem very promising. We very well may be headed down the same path with dd. This issue with these support groups is that many children with autism have at least normal IQs. Many families dealing with autism have a lot more to be optimistic about. The future isn't bright for kids with autism and MR (hopefully that term isn't offensive. The future isn't bright for a struggling family with mine with possibly two kids with these problems. I have a demanding p/t job as a psychotherapist tx'ing other peoples' children with emotional disturbances. I also am in a 4 year long post-graduate training program. I will complete the final year of course work in May 2015. We have a typical 9 y/o who does very well in Catholic school as well. We have no support of any kind from family. They are all out of state. We have no friends.Our children with disabilities isolate us. We live in a large neighborhood in our community and we don't fit it. My ds used to ride his scooter and bike all over the neighborhood until a neighbor on another street informed us that he was being bullied by a group of older boys. She reported that he acted out and that her kids were afraid of him. We had to end these unsupervised bike and scooter rides and no keep him in the house or yard under our watchful eyes. I cant imagine that my son will even have a friend in the near future. This is based on his own disabilities and the disabilities of the children in the inclusion classroom. My marriage is certainly in jeopardy. Very few people could imagine living like this. When I reflect on my awful life and our dim future. I rightfully feel horribly depressed. I do know that this isn't helpful but these are my feelings.
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Post by healthy11 on Sept 4, 2014 8:11:03 GMT -5
(((More hugs))). Given your profession, I'm sure you know that having special needs children puts additional strain on many marriages and relationships. www.autismsupportnetwork.com/news/relationship-factor-when-special-needs-challenge-household-133245Without a doubt, you're dealing with a lot going on right now, given your job, schooling, and family. I know you've said that in autism support groups, many children have normal IQ's, but I can assure you that there are a wide range of kids. Just as a moderator of this Millermom's forum, I've heard stories of other parents of children with autism whose sons and daughters seem unteachable, can't read, have outbursts, etc. You are not alone! At the very least, please try to talk to someone at www.thearc.org/ which is an organization that not only includes families with autism, but also other developmental disabilities. I'm not sure what state you live in, but at least in my area, they are a wealth of help.
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Post by bros on Sept 4, 2014 11:51:58 GMT -5
Thanks. She is un-testable. This is because she is non-verbal and uncooperative. She receives OT and SLP at an outpt. hoptital clinic as well and she could not be tested up to this point. This doesn't seem very promising. We very well may be headed down the same path with dd. This issue with these support groups is that many children with autism have at least normal IQs. Many families dealing with autism have a lot more to be optimistic about. The future isn't bright for kids with autism and MR (hopefully that term isn't offensive. The future isn't bright for a struggling family with mine with possibly two kids with these problems. I have a demanding p/t job as a psychotherapist tx'ing other peoples' children with emotional disturbances. I also am in a 4 year long post-graduate training program. I will complete the final year of course work in May 2015. We have a typical 9 y/o who does very well in Catholic school as well. We have no support of any kind from family. They are all out of state. We have no friends.Our children with disabilities isolate us. We live in a large neighborhood in our community and we don't fit it. My ds used to ride his scooter and bike all over the neighborhood until a neighbor on another street informed us that he was being bullied by a group of older boys. She reported that he acted out and that her kids were afraid of him. We had to end these unsupervised bike and scooter rides and no keep him in the house or yard under our watchful eyes. I cant imagine that my son will even have a friend in the near future. This is based on his own disabilities and the disabilities of the children in the inclusion classroom. My marriage is certainly in jeopardy. Very few people could imagine living like this. When I reflect on my awful life and our dim future. I rightfully feel horribly depressed. I do know that this isn't helpful but these are my feelings. 1. Nobody is untestable. There are non-verbal IQ tests they can give her. I wasn't exactly verbal at age 4 (I could make noise, but not words anyone would interpret as normal words) and i was tested. Why is she uncooperative? Is it because she is nonverbal i.e. has no way to express herself? Has something like a PECS been tried out with her to help reduce frustration? With your DS, are there any activities he enjoys? As a therapist, I hope you know that people with disabilities have psychological ailments as comorbidities quite frequently with learning disabilities, due to decreased self-esteem & self worth. So I would suggest finding him some activities to do - maybe a kids bowling league or recreational soccer in your town? Maybe even Special Olympics? An inclusion classroom, by definition, is a classroom taught by a general education teacher and a special education teacher (two teachers). Their students consist of mostly general education students, then some special education students. If you can, see if you can take a leave of absence from your post-grad training program, I am sure they would understand if you explained the circumstances. Then, see a therapist - if your son has a therapist, talk to them about your worries and concerns. They may be able to help you. I would also suggest contacting Easter Seals - www.easterseals.com/Depending on your area, sometimes they provide respite care - a professional comes to your home and helps your children for the day, so you and your husband can get a break - maybe go see a movie, have a nice dinner, maybe spend the night in a nice hotel, get a massage. www.autismspeaks.org/family-services/community-connections/respite-care-and-autismwww.autismspeaks.org/services/respite-care
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Post by lakemedium on Sept 4, 2014 13:08:07 GMT -5
Thanks for hanging in with me! Therapists are human and my children's troubles are scary and they are tragic. Parents of disabled children go through a grieving process. We had been hit twice. It is overwhelming. I do see a therapist, 4 days per week. It is a training requirement. My work and my training keeps me going. I have so much empathy for the children I work with and their families because of my own personal experiences as a parent. The children that I treat depend upon me. I do know about co-morbidity in children disabilities. My son participated in a hockey league for the past 5 years. The game is too complicated for him now. He is a good ice skater and continues to skate. We do many things as a family that he enjoys. He cannot feel good about himself as he is very aware that he is different from other children and that learning is very hard for him. We will look for other activities for once the dust settles. The truth is that life will be very hard for both of my children and they will not live normally. This is reality and it is horribly sad. I am in a particular stage of grief and it will pass.
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Post by bros on Sept 4, 2014 13:50:10 GMT -5
Does he see a therapist?
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Post by lakemedium on Sept 4, 2014 16:56:57 GMT -5
I got an order and a referral for a psychologist from my physician over the summer. The referral is for a ASD specialist. I did this in anticipation of possible adjustment problems. I have known therapists who have tx'ed children with IQs in the 70s but not below this. If read in the literature about such cases as well. He tends to act out when he is anxious, scared or overwhelmed like many kids w/disabilities and emotional troubles. He has an awesome feeling word collection and we use this all of the time. As I have talked about he is aware of his deficits and this can feel bad at times. We talk about this and we help him with his feelings. I do not believe he has a mood disorder. He is not in psychotherapy. I will use the order and the referral if I see mood problems develop and if I have the data to know that he can benefit from a psychotherapy from a cognitive ability standpoint.
All reports from the school indicates that he has adapted very well despite his deficits. It has been reported to me that he "smiles all of the time" is polite, "sweet" and a "gentleman". He has reported to me that he likes this school and that prior to the inclusion placement that the kids were "nice". He seems to feel proud to be a student of this particular school. He communicated to me last night that he was very sad to leave the original sped teacher. I believe that he felt he let her down and that is why he was to be moved. We talked this out, talked about feelings, I normalized them for him. He was ready to go today and try to settle in to the inclusion setting. The pics I took on my phone were helpful to prepare him for the change.
His new teacher in the inclusion classroom phone me today as promised. She told me he had had an "awesome" morning and that she allowed him to take some of his completed work to show his original teacher. She said he was very proud of himself and "all smiles". She texted me pics of him at his new locker and riding a scooter in a media room. She had remembered me telling her how he had been bullied by some kids in the neighborhood while riding his scotter. The pics were wonderful. He looked so happy!When I picked he up from school we talked about his day and the new students in his new room. He knew all of their names. He told me that "M" made a humming noise, "E" was "goofy" and "D" got mad for having to do work. He said that they were "weird" He said he like them. He has been set up with a buddy per the teacher. I assume its another kid in sped-non-inclusion class.
The issue of my profession-I feel like people are more critical of me because of this. Why would a therapist homeschool? What's wrong with her? She should know about all of the interventions avail? What kind of therapist would take this route? What kind of therapist would have would worry if others pitied her because she has two children with disabilities? What kind of therapist would allow herself to become depressed or anxious? How selfish of her!
I feel like the EI preschool failed my son and that I was in a better position as his mother to teach him. The early therapies, many that we paid for out of pocket didn't seem helpful and the process was painful for all involved. This many years later, it seems that he best learns from a 1:1 instruction in a closed area. Much like homeschooling in my home. Homeschooling children with disabilities in the fastest growing segment of homeschoolers. I do believe that my ds is best served at school at this stage of his development. We await the results of this testing. It does seem prudent to pursue and independent evaluation as well.
Regarding my 4 y/o dd- I don't have any cognitive test scores, SLP or OT scores. She couldn't take the tests and evaluators want to wait for that.
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Post by bros on Sept 4, 2014 19:56:12 GMT -5
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Post by healthy11 on Sept 4, 2014 20:03:18 GMT -5
The issue of my profession-I feel like people are more critical of me because of this. Why would a therapist homeschool? What's wrong with her? She should know about all of the interventions avail? What kind of therapist would take this route? What kind of therapist would have would worry if others pitied her because she has two children with disabilities? What kind of therapist would allow herself to become depressed or anxious? How selfish of her!... I feel like the EI preschool failed my son and that I was in a better position as his mother to teach him. Lakemedium, you don't need to worry about defending your choices to those of us at Millermoms. We are parents of students with various LDs, and/or adults with various LD issues ourselves. Some of us have homeschooled, some have used online "virtual schooling," some have used local public schools, some have had out-of-district placements, some have used private non-denominational schools, some have used Catholic or other religious educational methodology. There have been people who used Montessori or Waldorf schools, group or 1:1 tutoring, and even "Unschooling." I'm probably missing a few, but my point is that that there is no "one size fits all" approach that works best for everyone. Many people try a combination of things. We do the best we can with the information and resources available, and that's what you're doing, too. Again, none of us has a "crystal ball" that can guarantee the future, but your children are blessed to have a parent with your knowledge and background as their advocate, as are the families you work with professionally. The kids I worry about most are the ones whose parents refuse to acknowledge that they have issues and need assistance. As other people have said, life isn't a race, but a journey. Hang in there, and please do contact some of the other support groups, like TheArc.org
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Post by empeg1 on Sept 5, 2014 1:52:07 GMT -5
WAIT! Are you saying that the school district is going to move your son from his current placement into a different class, a class set up for children with ASD, to focus on life skills, BEFORE his evaluation is even started. NO WAY!!! Do not allow your son to change classes, from the special education program he is in to a more restricted environment, before the assessment is done. You simply do not have the data to make such a decision and it is not in the best interest of your child to move him multiple times. It seems to me that the district has the process backwards; they are making placement decisions before the assessment. This is NOT legal and, more to the point, not best for your son. Say no, that you do not agree to a change in program until the assessments are completed, OT, speech and language and the psychoeducational evaluation. In fact, if you remain skeptical of the class placement currently being proposed, after the district does its assessment, then request an IEE and do not agree to a change in placement until the IEE is done (Independent Educational Evaluation).
As for homeschooling, I do not think you made a mistake. You provided 1:1 instruction tailored to your son in a loving environment. And, now you decided to have him attend school for more socialization. Please know, that as a parent of a child with special needs, you are oh so vulnerable to second guessing yourself. You are also vulnerable to being swayed by what others think just because you oh so want to get "it right" for your son. I have a daughter who is 27 years old who also has a neurodevelopmental disability. I continue to receive advice from professionals, family and "friends" that runs counter to what I now know is best for my daughter. Consider the opinions of the school professionals carefully but do not automatically accept that they are right and you are wrong. That said, it is important to be realistic. But wait for the data for goodness sake!
If it turns out that your son will do best with a functional life skill focus do not despair. I work in a young adult program, 18 to 22, for students who could not receive a high school diploma. One can be successful in life in more than the traditional path. We have students who have rich, fulfilling lives, are productive, work, have relationships, and feel good about themselves. Isn't that what every parent wants for their child? Quite a few of our students do live in group homes. One young man I remember well. He took his mother to task at his IEP, telling her that his friend lives in a group home and he wants to go there too. It happens that the above home is very good, with a lot of social opportunities. Once moved, my student was very happy. The latter is the name of the game. Another student of mine now is taking a certificate class in auto painting. He did well at his internship and has a job waiting for him! A job coach from DVR will assist him. Another student loves trucks. He is working at OSH, with a job coach from our program, feels oh so proud of himself and just was accepted for part time work at the waste management company, HIS dream job. He is so excited. This summer, we had an all school dance. Much romance and much fun was had. And, the talent show I helped students organized was awesome! We have artists, musicians, singers, dancers…… Do not despair that your son will have a bleak life.
That said…. A functional life skills curriculum…… As a young adolescent, your son's curriculum should still include an emphasis on academics. I work with teens and adults in the severely handicapped program. If your son is lacking in life skills then academics can include a functional focus as well, as in teaching money math and not just paper and pencil math. Look for hands on lessons and not just worksheets. The latter activity often will not generalize to real life skills and is, well, boring as well as not allowing for the use of different areas of the brain. Reading, is your son likes to read, go after topics of interest, so that teaching comprehension may be easier. Also, children with Autism often do better with visual input and hands on activity as well, so that comprehension can be taught with social stories, using pictures, role playing, etc. What does your son like? My daughter, who struggled learning to read, finally learned to do so on guess what? National Geographic of all things, as she loved animals and nature. It worked ,with a teacher who recognized my daughter's passion and decided to use it! But, do not allow the school district at your son's young age to limit his academic exposure just to reading basic signs, etc. He should be working on reading, math, spelling and writing, at his level, using strategies that match is learning strengths and weaknesses.
Did the district talk about mainstreaming your son? If you decided to return him to school for socialization it does not seem that the above goal will be addressed in the classroom you described. Remember, IDEA is all about the least restrictive environment, so when will he get to interact with gen ed kids or kids from his current sped ed program?
As for testing kids with IQ's lower than 72, well those are all of the students with whom I work! Trust me, I assess students all the time. I am a speech-language pathologist. The psychologists with whom I work assess students with lower functioning all the time as well. And, there are also evaluations of adaptive functioning and authentic assessments as well. I am doing several triennial assessments right now, to include teacher/staff interviews, parent interview, file review, observation, clinical work, language sample, informal tasks and, yes, standardized testing, if applicable. Then I look for comprehension, expressive language, pragmatics, including social understanding/use of language, social thinking, and abilities in nonverbal communication, including gestures, eye gaze, facial expression, movement, etc. No way is any student of mine, "untestable".
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Post by dw on Sept 5, 2014 10:59:15 GMT -5
Lakemedium, I have no expertise to offer, only encouragement. Though things look bleak now, the future is hard to predict. Many of the Millermoms can tell you that their young adults have a brighter outlook than they imagined, due to the family's dedicated struggles for their children. It is realistic to refine one's expectations and to have realistic expectations, but it is likely you will have to revise your expectations many times as your children grow. This is a long winded way to say, please don't give up hope.
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Post by bros on Sept 5, 2014 11:38:28 GMT -5
As for testing kids with IQ's lower than 72, well those are all of the students with whom I work! Trust me, I assess students all the time. I am a speech-language pathologist. The psychologists with whom I work assess students with lower functioning all the time as well. And, there are also evaluations of adaptive functioning and authentic assessments as well. I am doing several triennial assessments right now, to include teacher/staff interviews, parent interview, file review, observation, clinical work, language sample, informal tasks and, yes, standardized testing, if applicable. Then I look for comprehension, expressive language, pragmatics, including social understanding/use of language, social thinking, and abilities in nonverbal communication, including gestures, eye gaze, facial expression, movement, etc. No way is any student of mine, "untestable". In my opinion, no student is untestable, you just need to have the right person to test them.
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Post by SharonF on Sept 8, 2014 12:38:48 GMT -5
Lakemedium--
I'd like to issue you a belated welcome and a cyberhug. Then please re-read the excellent advice you have been given. And do everything you can to prevent the school from making significant decisions before they complete the eval and before they understand your son's needs. It sounds like they are trying to plug him into an existing program based on what THEY have to offer. Sorry, but that's in violation of the law.
My few tidbits to add: 1) IQ tests don't always show a person's true intelligence and learning potential. This is not only true for people on the Spectrum, but for many types of learning differences. The Wechsler IQ tests (WISC, WAIS) measure the types of intelligence used most often in typical classrooms. But if a person does not learn well sequentially, or does not think in words, the WISC score may be quite low.
Schools often look at a lower-end WISC score and automatically assumes the child is a slow learner or worse. But I strongly disagree!
My advice: if the WISC score from his upcoming eval does not match the level of intelligence you see from him on a daily basis, it may NOT accurately measure his IQ. But the composite IQ score (and the index scores) can still be very helpful. Areas of extreme strength or weakness as shown on the WISC subtests can help you understand the ways your son thinks and learns best...and may give important clues about what teaching/learning/testing styles will NOT work well for him.
Wide gaps between subtest scores or index scores are even more indicative of a learning style that is not suited well for most classrooms. But it does NOT automatically mean low intelligence. Regardless of the composite IQ score.
The fact that the WISC is not accurate for some types of intelligence is in addition to what others correctly pointed out that people with learning differences are often very inconsistent. One day they know something. The next day, they don't. As we joked about our son, the only thing consistent about him in school was his inconsistency!
2) PLEASE don't fear the future. You are at a very difficult point in the journey. I remember it well, for both my kids. The school and even a private neuropsychologist were quick with blame and short on answers. By direct comment and by insinuation, they accused my husband and me of causing our kids' learning issues. The school staff and even that doc told us our kids had very bleak futures. They were WRONG!
I know: It's so easy to doubt yourself or even blame yourself. Please, please, please don't. It won't help anything. And it could keep you from being the strong, loving parent and knowledgeable, capable advocate that you need to be.
Keep advocating for your son and daughter. Be fair but firm with the school. Keep coming here to ask questions or to ask for a shoulder to cry on. We'll walk you through this. Just like people on this message board (and its predecessor board) did for me more than a decade ago.
You are a good mother who loves her kids and wants what's best and appropriate for them. You are in good company here!
One more piece of advice. If the book "From Emotions to Advocacy" by Pam and Peter Wright is still in print or available as an ebook, please get it and read it. That book also helped me immensely!
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