Non School Activities question and ADHD

[keepthefaith]

DD joined a martial arts (Kung Fu) program.  We were introduced to this particular program through a friend and the difference in this program from "run of the mill" store fronts is that it requires parental participation.  You can't drop the  kid off and come back 1 hour later.  All parents are strongly encouraged to stay through the hour session 2x weekly because we spend 10-15 minutes sparring  with them as the instructor belts out commands.

For DD, she is learning the "meaning of discipline".  Also, parents are given a weekly checklist  i.e. Billy did well with X this week; he could use more practice doing X next week. They involve school, home and the instruction in this program.  The instructor will then read the checklist aloud and "talk to Billy" with all other students present - done inn a very embracing manner.

Fast forward:  DD was invited to join their leadership program. At first, we thought it was a ploy to invest more $ but it turned out only 2 kids in the entire school of over 600 are asked to join the leadership program. That program is 80% character building and 20% martial arts.  DD joined that group this past week.  When I told her about the invitation 3 months ago, she didn't believe me.  She said "they didn't ask me - you are just saying they asked me".  I told her it was true, that it was not my/her Dad's decision. It was the decision of Sifu X.  She went to her room, came back 1/2 hour later and said yes, I'ld like to join.  Explained it was a big commitment.........and expensive (for us).  She said "take the money from my bank account" (I knew she was serious then ; ).

She also started to cry - she was so unnerved that someone saw leadership qualiities in her.  It took 3 months from invite for us to make the formal decision - it was something we (parents) needed to be sure that she was truly going to commit to.  The Kung Fu has been in place for 9 months now and she loves it.  

Have you ever heard of Martial Arts to help with  ADHD children?  At "moving up ceremonies" parents are asked to share their experience with the rom. Some parents talked about how the program changed their children in many ways at home, school, socially,  etc.

Also, do you have experience or can you share other types of programs for kids with ADD?  (Summer is approaching and 70% is time without an agenda). What have you signed your ADHD child up for?

We tried soccer (she would score for the other team and/or daydream at the middle point of field); she doesn't like basketball, she likes baseball but is afraid she''ll  get hurt.  Thanks.  We are also going to join School's Swimming Program from 8 to 9 am 3 x a week.

PS:  If I should be posting a topic like this on the other boards such as the parenting board, please let me know. Thanks.

[bros]

I like bowling.

Maybe find a youth bowling league nearby? Bowling is just fun. Good for tiring someone out too.

[healthy11]

The "search feature" here at Millermoms isn't the easiest to use (our forum is hosted by Proboards, and we're limited to what they provide) but if you do a search on Martial Arts, you'll find a number of past discussions about the topic. Martial arts and swimming have been identified as some of the best activities for kids with ADHD/LDs. They provide the opportunity to belong to a "group," but one's individual practice and dedication determines their success (as compared to other "team sports" where one child's miscue can impact the win/loss record for everyone else.)

There are a number of different programs, and instruction can vary, but tae-kwon-do classes turned out to be the best choice for my son. He participated at a local studio, with classes offered several times a week; it was not through a school program. They taught self-discipline, and there were plenty of other kids around, but unlike a team sport, a student's progress was based on his or her own efforts. As students progressed, the studio actually trained "upper belts" to act as "junior instructors" for newer students, and "being looked up to" was something my son had never experienced before. He not only received benefits from the physical fitness and training involved, but from the leadership opportunities. He stayed with it for 7 years, from about age 9-16, ending as a 2nd degree black belt... It definitely was a positive experience overall.

[jisp]

Although my kids do not have ADHD but other LD issues many of the challenges they faced were similar to those ADHD kids face. For my three children one of the best extra-curricular activities was MUSIC. In particular Jazz. I swear the learning music and playing Jazz changed their brains and helped them with academic tasks as well.

For many kids I know Theater and Improv troupes have been an amazing outlet for their creativity, intelligence and to help them learn self-discipline and how to work in a group.

Dance I suspect would also be similar.

I know one young man who has a teen found that film making was an important extra curricular activity. He ended up going to art school and majoring in film making and that is what he is doing now.

I know another (and this is going to sound weird) who found that playing Magic (the gathering) card game was very important.

….I guess my point is that the list is endless. Anything that engages the mind and the body at the same time will be good developmentally for a teen with ADHD.

[keepthefaith]

Thanks Bros - I love, love bowling - DD, she didn't when we tried a couple of times but now she is more agile so we should try again!

So many programs are "aimed" towards ADHD - I will search out the threads Healthy. Thanks. I agree with your reply too.

Jisp,I have been meaning to thank you as well - your posts are very helpful and informative. We tried Dance - disaster "I'm too fat"; but she was very insecure at that summer. A kid was calling her fat all year (she's a stick).

I agree! Music - it feeds the soul. She would love to do theatre but is, again,embarrassed she won't remember lines. She did do some backstage work this year. Magic - I just watched a kid who learned magic to enable him to approach is peers easily - good idea! Also, I keep saying ADHD but DD is both ADHD and LD - duly noted!

Thanks so much!
Marie (that is my name!).

[keepthefaith]

Healthy - I have more to add regarding the team/individual aspect. DD does better at individual but there is so much to be said for learning how to lose in a healthy : ) manner.......did you ever experience this "issue"?
Marie

[healthy11]

Many parents have grappled with how to help their children "learn to lose gracefully," and my son was no exception. While I wish I could tell you there was an easy answer, in truth, I think it just took time for him to mature, and especially on our part, to show patience by daily example.

After frustrating attempts to have our son participate in soccer, baseball, and basketball programs through the local YMCA, we found that TaeKwonDo was a much better "fit" for him. (We also tried swimming, but my son is very slender, and he wound up "shivering" rather than enjoying it.) After "giving up on team sports," in order to try and help our son "learn to lose" in a healthy way, my husband and I often played board and card games with him. At first, he would try to quit if he perceived he was losing, sometimes knocking the pieces away and/or shouting, "I hate this stupid game." We tried to instill values that if you start something, you should finish it. Gradually he learned that "sometimes you win, sometimes you lose" and even if you don't like losing, it's not worth getting upset about any game.

[jisp]

Oh I forgot one of my favorite team sports that is different than the usual "game" team sports: Sailing. In our area we have 2 programs that teach kids to sail for free. I know similar programs exist in other cities. Sailing is wonderful because it involves team work, racing is fun and honestly most kids don't care if they win or loose just if they finish the course. It is the spirit of sailing that matters.

If you live in the middle of the country away from water than I suppose this is not much use. Another sport that I know is very suited toward ADHD kids is rock climbing.

Or if there is a group that goes hiking or does some outdoor thing regularly. Many parents say that scouting is fabulous for their ADHD and ADD kids.

[bros]

I played recreational soccer in my town.

It was fun. I didn't do much, but I had fun.

[glopop11]

My D was in a bowling league, played recreational softball, and rec dancing. The real game-changer for her in high school was joining JROTC. It gave her an instant positive peer group, she stopped getting bullied and was given leadership roles she didn't think she could handle. They do not recruit for the military and are focused on leadership, citizenship and community service.

[hsmom]

My son (ADHD-combined) does not like team sports except for soccer. He has poor hand-eye coordination so that playing with balls was never something he enjoyed as a young child. Like your daughter and others, he enjoys individual sports more than team sports. Because he had the opportunity to do a lot of skiing, he enjoys skiing very much. He also likes to ride his bike and hike. 

When my son was 13, he asked for piano lessons and has been learning to play since then. However, he first took piano lessons when he was 7 years old and became frustrated with it as he couldn't read music at the time. He was 9 when he was diagnosed with ADHD and LD's which we later found included dyslexia and visual/spatial processing disorder. So it was only after he received remediation for his LD's that he was able to read music.