Post by hope4all on Jan 26, 2010 1:43:23 GMT -5
I hope it is ok if I repost this information from Great Schools here. I wanted to re-post it word for word and not just set up a link. Since GS keeps changing things and as it is now not all the posts to this thread could be found.... I wanted another place to link to from other forums. I revisit this info many times and want to share with others who could benefit from it.
drjohnson January 31, 2009
Attachment Disorder Please remember that I am not a doctor. I am a mom who's unfortunately had reason to investigate this subject. Attachment disorder is frequently associated with children who have been adopted from institutions or abusive settings. They have not formed a trusting bond with any particular caregiver, and therefore don't really know how to trust their new parents. These children will appear loving and charming to outsiders, yet continually reject or misbehave for their parents, particularly their mothers. (no, it's not your imagination!) Mothers are threatening because of the intensity of the relationship. Children with these problems vary considerably. Different professionals have different classifications and ideas for treatment. Some of these ideas are quite controversial. I think that the safest course is to try to avoid punishments that could appear rejecting and instead institute consequences the require more time be spent working on chores with the parents. Also, regress your treatment of the child so that you provide more snuggling and intimate moments like bed-time stories, even for teens. APA American Psychiatric Associaton position statement on RAD
www.psych.org/Departments/EDU/Library/APAOfficialDocumentsandRelated/PositionStatements/200205.aspx
Types of Attachment
disorders:
www.radkid.org/types_of_attachment.html
www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/attachment_disorder.htm
Bonding and Attachment
www.attachmentdisordermaryland.com/right.htm When Adopted Toddlers Reject Their Parents
www.perspectivespress.com/todreject.html "Neither punishment or ignoring are effective ways to react to a child’s rejecting behaviors. Time-out or other forms of isolation only confirm the child’s sense of rejection. Punishment teaches that aggression is appropriate and traps both children and parents in an escalating power struggle. Empathy and restraint however, are appropriate. While a toddler, especially one who does not yet speak the same language as the parent, can not literally comprehend parental expressions of empathy, he can discern the difference between speech that is calm, accepting, and supportive and a voice that is reproachful and angry. Young children should never be left alone with their rage." But beware of aggressive "holding":
www.aacap.org/cs/root/member_information/practice_information/jan/feb_2005_seclusion_restraint_is_therapeutic_holding_dead
An interesting suggestion to use laughter to form attachment.
www.pactadopt.org/press/articles/laughter.html
How to use paradox to curtail raging behavior.
www.deborahhage.com/articles/paradoxicaltechnqs3.html
Here are two books that I have read: Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents by Deborah D. Gray Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children by Daniel A. Hughes
vacekd1001 July 29, 2009
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I thought I would post this info here since it is something I have struggled with in regards to my son. Is he oppositional or is he afraid?
The Connected Child by Purvis
Page 47 and 48
[An example six year old Janey had a major meltdown because her mother would not give her a snack bar 10 mins. before dinner.] pg. 47 and 48.
"... past traumas encoded within their brains are easily reactivated. Hunger abuse or abandonment that occurred months or even years ago can still trigger terror... Parents might easily confuse fear based outbursts with willful disobedience..." pg. 48
Also from the connected Purvis tells why it is important to spend as much time with your adopted child as possible.
pg 5 "...Imagine that you raised your own biological child in a loving home until he was four. Then somebody kidnaped him and you didn't know if he was dead or alive for three long years.
During those years your baby boy was starved and abused. When he is finally, mercifully returned to you at the age of seven, he is more like a wild and frightened animal than the curious and playful little boy you knew. Grateful to have him back and sensitive to his suffering, you focus on doing whatever he needs to heal from his trauma. You don't take him to an amusement park on his first day home, or bundle him off to daycare within a week. You know that he needs weeks and months of daily nurturing and retraining to comfort guide and heal him from that harmful experience.
Although the scenario we described may sound extreme, adoptive and foster children deserve similar compassion...."
I am vacekd1001.
drjohnson January 31, 2009
Attachment Disorder Please remember that I am not a doctor. I am a mom who's unfortunately had reason to investigate this subject. Attachment disorder is frequently associated with children who have been adopted from institutions or abusive settings. They have not formed a trusting bond with any particular caregiver, and therefore don't really know how to trust their new parents. These children will appear loving and charming to outsiders, yet continually reject or misbehave for their parents, particularly their mothers. (no, it's not your imagination!) Mothers are threatening because of the intensity of the relationship. Children with these problems vary considerably. Different professionals have different classifications and ideas for treatment. Some of these ideas are quite controversial. I think that the safest course is to try to avoid punishments that could appear rejecting and instead institute consequences the require more time be spent working on chores with the parents. Also, regress your treatment of the child so that you provide more snuggling and intimate moments like bed-time stories, even for teens. APA American Psychiatric Associaton position statement on RAD
www.psych.org/Departments/EDU/Library/APAOfficialDocumentsandRelated/PositionStatements/200205.aspx
Types of Attachment
disorders:
www.radkid.org/types_of_attachment.html
www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/attachment_disorder.htm
Bonding and Attachment
www.attachmentdisordermaryland.com/right.htm When Adopted Toddlers Reject Their Parents
www.perspectivespress.com/todreject.html "Neither punishment or ignoring are effective ways to react to a child’s rejecting behaviors. Time-out or other forms of isolation only confirm the child’s sense of rejection. Punishment teaches that aggression is appropriate and traps both children and parents in an escalating power struggle. Empathy and restraint however, are appropriate. While a toddler, especially one who does not yet speak the same language as the parent, can not literally comprehend parental expressions of empathy, he can discern the difference between speech that is calm, accepting, and supportive and a voice that is reproachful and angry. Young children should never be left alone with their rage." But beware of aggressive "holding":
www.aacap.org/cs/root/member_information/practice_information/jan/feb_2005_seclusion_restraint_is_therapeutic_holding_dead
An interesting suggestion to use laughter to form attachment.
www.pactadopt.org/press/articles/laughter.html
How to use paradox to curtail raging behavior.
www.deborahhage.com/articles/paradoxicaltechnqs3.html
Here are two books that I have read: Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents by Deborah D. Gray Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children by Daniel A. Hughes
vacekd1001 July 29, 2009
Report it
I thought I would post this info here since it is something I have struggled with in regards to my son. Is he oppositional or is he afraid?
The Connected Child by Purvis
Page 47 and 48
[An example six year old Janey had a major meltdown because her mother would not give her a snack bar 10 mins. before dinner.] pg. 47 and 48.
"... past traumas encoded within their brains are easily reactivated. Hunger abuse or abandonment that occurred months or even years ago can still trigger terror... Parents might easily confuse fear based outbursts with willful disobedience..." pg. 48
Also from the connected Purvis tells why it is important to spend as much time with your adopted child as possible.
pg 5 "...Imagine that you raised your own biological child in a loving home until he was four. Then somebody kidnaped him and you didn't know if he was dead or alive for three long years.
During those years your baby boy was starved and abused. When he is finally, mercifully returned to you at the age of seven, he is more like a wild and frightened animal than the curious and playful little boy you knew. Grateful to have him back and sensitive to his suffering, you focus on doing whatever he needs to heal from his trauma. You don't take him to an amusement park on his first day home, or bundle him off to daycare within a week. You know that he needs weeks and months of daily nurturing and retraining to comfort guide and heal him from that harmful experience.
Although the scenario we described may sound extreme, adoptive and foster children deserve similar compassion...."
I am vacekd1001.
